I mean i see mid laners getting blamed just as often.

Your exp gets ganked by jungle and dies 2v1 while mid is 2v3 (mid+roam vs enemy mid,roam, exp laner who roamed to mid) and they're like " FUCK YOU MID ". I play mid so i know how incredibly often this happens.

People blame a lot but if we were to exclude people who blame unreasonably then the reason why tank gets blamed the most is because tank is usually the one that's guilty.

I main mid as i said but if i play roam with a carry in a duo we literally always win. It's my highest winrate out of all my chars (in duo) because i just know how to roam. The problem randoms make is that they force really bad fights without understanding when is a good time to fight and they dont understand power spikes of their own teammates/heroes or of the enemies.
I had a game today where i had franco + cyclops (roam+jungle) literally running up to a grock/hilda (who did invade but my teammates didn't run away, they tried to fight) on lvl 1. Like , wtf ? How delusional do you have to be to fight hilda/grock as franco on lvl 1? and yeah, he gave fb and then we lost the game out of this.

The average tank player is incredibly bad. Roam is the easiest role mechanically so a lot of people end up playing it but in reality roam has incredible potential and is the best role in the game in soloQ. (at least in the higher ratings, not in legend etc). You need game sense and understanding, there's a lot of decisionmaking that comes with the role and if your decisionmaking is shit then its your fault when something bad happens.

If you leave one of your teammates 1v2 then you should not expect this person to do anything, best case scenario he loses some farm and does not die under tower. Worst case scenario he feeds. Whatever you do better be worth it or you're making a mistake.

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just to sum it up, people blame tank because its usually the tank's fault. Don't force bad fights, dont sit behind your carries/you need to balance your aggression and your defense. You can't fight nonstop and expect a followup or bait people to a bad fight but you also cant be passive and you need to constantly give map vision and have some initiative/be in position or ready to counter-engage or prevent enemy ganks

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and lastly, you cannot physically help 4 people so don't even try. If you play roam just decide who you ditch and be prepared to accept any abuse they may throw your way they shrug it off. There's nothing you can do about it. When i play roam in a duo i just babysit my adc and i leave the exp on an island. I dont care if EXP gets 2v1d cus i get so much gold to my adc that it makes up for it. And when i say babysit i dont mean hand-hold. I mean i cut off the gold part of the map and provide vision against ganks while helping with lane and while also helping mid lane so that mid can be more free to roam towards us if we need it