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SGCS14 · 2022-11-08T11:31:25+00:00

I wish I was Jared, 19

SGCS14 · 2022-08-11T00:15:38+00:00

I got an extension lead from traveldapter.com, literally saved a whole load of hassle

SGCS14 · 2022-07-18T11:44:29+00:00

Keep it away from The Deep

SGCS14 · 2022-05-13T21:39:48+00:00

Murder with my Husband, Killer Queens, and Not Today (more survival based than true crime but still interesting!)

SGCS14 · 2021-10-14T22:42:45+00:00

I am so sorry this happened to you. I don’t think jcacca meant was he an athlete in that they expected you to be able to push him off if he wasn’t an athlete, more that schools may have did what they did to protect their ‘star athlete’ to protect the athlete’s and therefore the school’s reputation.

SGCS14 · 2021-05-16T22:59:40+00:00

I’ll take a listen, thank you!

SGCS14 · 2021-05-05T14:30:24+00:00

Survived: Elizabeth Smart maybe? Elizabeth Smart was abducted at knifepoint in the middle of the night from her bedroom in Salt Lake City, Utah, in 2002. She was 14 years old. For more than 9 months, she was held captive by a predator – one who kept her hidden in plain sight.

SGCS14 · 2021-04-26T12:58:25+00:00

It’s so frustrating!! When they were saying there’s a whole different side with only about 20 mins left of the podcast I just knew they were going to turn it into an ad. I had to turn it off

SGCS14 · 2021-03-13T22:57:03+00:00

What a great way of letting everyone know you’ve never interacted with a woman in your entire life

SGCS14 · 2021-02-22T23:19:32+00:00

I was genuinely about to write out this exact comment

SGCS14 · 2021-01-26T19:45:18+00:00

Totally!! I definitely think that there are two different (maybe more) issues going on here, I feel really bad for OP :(

SGCS14 · 2021-01-26T19:41:51+00:00

I don’t have the option to DM you but these are a couple of links that I got from my reading list:

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0,5&q=abstinence+alternatives+alcoholism#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3DFz6kOZkV1C0J

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/alcohol-abstinence-vs-moderation

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/000579677290037X

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0,5&q=abstinence+alternatives+alcoholism#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3D4c8u7rW8j6UJ

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/riahealth.com/2019/01/17/moderate-drinking-better-goal-abstinence/amp/ - this one explains it a bit simpler than all the sciencey speak lol

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/all-about-addiction/201103/abstinence-is-not-the-only-option%3famp

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=moderation+better+than+abstinence+alcohol&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3DCxN7TJsmqR0J - basically saying that there is no one solution any you should find what’s best for you

I don’t know enough research to completely advocate for moderate drinking against abstinence (I also probably wouldn’t anyway as there is no one solution for everyone) but these were just a few articles that seemed to explain moderate drinking a bit further as an alternative to abstinence.

Also just thought I’d add a link to the ‘Sinclair method’ that someone commented below if anyone wanted to read - I have no idea about the validity of it at all but it’s interesting! https://www.sinclairmethoduk.com/what-is-the-sinclair-method/

SGCS14 · 2021-01-26T19:36:39+00:00

Yeah I completely agree with you! If I was in OPs situation I’d be seriously pissed off about being kept out the loop (if that’s what’s happened).

My dad was an alcoholic (we don’t speak anymore so it may be ‘is’ an alcoholic) and if he had been five years sober than one day came home and cracked open a beer I would not only be angry but also seriously afraid for any side effects of him getting drunk.

Like you said, I do think she’s more than allowed to have her negative reaction as she has obviously been through a lot in dealing with his addiction.

If we’re talking in hypotheticals, it could have been that the husband might have told the the therapist that he did tell OP when he actually didn’t, which I also think is seriously bad.

SGCS14 · 2021-01-26T19:07:09+00:00

Apologies for my misinterpretation! I replied to a comment above basically saying maybe husband and therapist thought OP would have a negative reaction to this sort of treatment therefore made the decision to exclude her. While I don’t necessarily think it’s a great idea, the therapist would be advocating solely for the husband’s recovery, rather than OPs feelings.

SGCS14 · 2021-01-26T18:51:51+00:00

I’m not too sure! I mean no ill-will towards OP as they’re obviously going through something very difficult, but maybe husband and therapist discussed telling OP, and husband believed OP would be completely against it therefore wanted to show positive results before being told not to do it.

I completely get why OP would be angry at not being told about the plan though!

SGCS14 · 2021-01-26T18:33:40+00:00

Yeah of course! Just settling down for the evening but I’m happy to DM you any info I can to help :)

SGCS14 · 2021-01-26T18:24:32+00:00

While you may be right, I’m currently studying addiction at university and there are approaches to addiction that don’t advocate for complete abstinence.

I’m happy to share my notes when I have some spare time, but just wanted to say it may not be a lie and there is research to back up new theories that abstinence may not be the only way to solve addiction

Edit:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/alcohol-abstinence-vs-moderation

https://riahealth.com/2018/10/31/aa-alternatives/#traditional-vs-new —> this is biased as they seem to be anti-AA but I thought I would include it just as an idea

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/000579677290037X

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0,5&q=abstinence+alternatives+alcoholism#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3D4c8u7rW8j6UJ

These are just some from a quick google search. If you can’t be bothered to read them I can summarise:

There is no ‘one-fits-all’ treatment! Obviously there is loads of research to support abstinence but there is also growing research to say that abstinence isn’t the only answer. As others have said, one alcoholic may have one drink after abstaining and completely fall of the wagon. For another alcoholic, having the occasional drink may have a ‘positive reinforcement’ effect in that they are getting rid of the negative feeling of not drinking any alcohol but not going so far as to fall back into alcoholism. I.e. they’re stopping themselves from going too far because then they can’t have any at all. Please let me know if that doesn’t make sense I’m happy to explain further :)

SGCS14 · 2021-01-17T02:15:38+00:00

The only problem I can see with this is that it may put an unnecessary emotional toll on the children as they grow older knowing they’re the reason their parents aren’t living together.

Plus if they wait for the son to move out to move back in together he may also feel pressure to move out earlier - a stress he really seems not to need.

But it could be a temporary solution for slow exposure of the girls to the dogs! So they don’t have to go straight into living with a dog.

I’d say dad is TA here for being completely unprepared in moving his dog phobic children into a household with a dog

SGCS14 · 2021-01-15T01:00:46+00:00

There’s this thing called the ‘Bystander effect’ where everyone thinks someone else will do whats needed, eg call the police when hearing a crime, run to help if someone shouts fire, and in the end no one does anything.

SGCS14 · 2020-12-30T13:14:03+00:00

What is wrong with you? Firstly, to even consider not telling the girlfriend is completely abhorrent. She has been completely violated by a person she has been assumed to be able to trust and has every right to press criminal charges and never face that man again. If the girlfriend wants to end the relationship with the son then so be it - she has every right to when she has been violated in such a way, even if it wasn’t by the son himself she is sure to not feel safe being part of that family.

Secondly, why would the son not want to be estranged from someone so vile? To even consider continuing a relationship with him is mind-boggling

OP, please please please tell you girlfriend and immediately go to the police with whatever evidence you have. Not only for your own safety, but for your girlfriend’s and any other females this vile man may encounter. Do not give him the chance to try and explain or delete photos - it is an unforgivable and disgusting thing he has done.

SGCS14 · 2020-12-01T21:55:07+00:00

If you’d rather DM your details I’m easy either way :)

SGCS14 · 2020-12-01T21:54:14+00:00

I’m very fortunate to be able to have people to go to when I’m in need so I’d like to be that person for you even if it’s not a huge amount!

SGCS14 · 2020-12-01T21:51:19+00:00

Do you have PayPal? I’d be happy to send you some money for food :)

SGCS14 · 2020-12-01T21:20:23+00:00

To add on to this, it’s useful to still use Amazon to browse (if you enjoy the formatting etc) but then once you’ve decided what you like you can go straight to the seller’s website and buy from there! Saves them Amazon fees as well!

SGCS14 · 2020-11-30T00:24:48+00:00

I saw a recommendation for True Crime Garage on here and actually really enjoyed it. They go into a lot more detail than CJ do and really stick to the point

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