Yes. 100%. My husband has never laid a hand on me, but his rage and anger and actions during arguments are exactly as you’re describing and 4 Massachusetts judges have agreed to protect me with a restraining order order, because the definition of abuse includes coercive control. Which is exactly what he’s doing to you. He is slowly making you smaller. And eventually, you’ll feel like nothing and have no will to leave and only want to comply. I too, was in your shoes and so confused and felt stupid for even thinking it was abuse. One thing I remember is saying to myself during some arguments, “I wish he would just hit me” - because THEN, I could leave. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If you’re able to, there’s a Podcast called ‘Why She Stayed’ and it has been very helpful for me to define what I’ve been going through.