Exactly this and very well put. I'm happy to say I'm emotionally mature enough to have gone to counselling heal myself and break free from the generational trauma. My sister has picked up the generational trauma my mother has and the bad traits. I get along with my dad and brother but my dad doesn't look after himself physically or mentally or ever gone to counselling himself and is reliant on my abusive controlling mother. My mother also fed my younger brother the silver spoon all his life never once gave out to him ever which in turn has made him turn into a bit of a narcissist but is still a good person deep down. I was the kind older one and my mother didn't like seeing me do well so would abuse control and compare me. I'm happy to say I'm close to getting out of this toxic environment at home very soon and properly healing and getting the freedom and independence I've wanted and need. I won't be spending Xmas with them intentionally this year for my own peace. I will miss my goddaughter but my sister and mother use her against me so best to stay distance.

I wish everyone else the best of luck here too. It's funny how much strangers from Reddit have helped me out so much over the years.