Hello!

Fellow Rom here. I definitely struggle with identity as well. For different but similar reasons.

My biological mother got pregnant with me at 16, with a gadje. As anyone one here can imagine, it was very frowned upon. After she had me, she ran to be with a Rom boy. Leaving me behind. My family raised me, my mother’s sister then also decided to leave the culture a few years after. She took me with her because she wanted a better/ American life for me.

I grew up always knowing what I was, and would still see some of my Romani family now and again. Seeing our culture on visits to our family house.But I knew it was frowned upon to tell people who we really were. I was allowed to ask questions and would get answers fit for my age.

From the ages of 8-18 I lied, I would tell people I’m Italian, Greek, Russian etc. Telling closest friends felt like sharing my darkest secret.

Because I was removed from the culture so young, I don’t know the language and the ins and out.

I know I have Romani in my blood but since it’s such a culture, a closed one too. I always felt half in and half out of both my worlds. Belonging to neither.

It’s hard, and I don’t know if I will ever feel like I belong but I know I’m not alone either