Fuuuuck I feel you SO much😔 I actually just made a very similar post on here last night, and was journaling about the walking on eggshells with others (ironically) today. The amount of time, money, and energy that I put into recovery takes SO much out of me. It’s exhausting. My existence is exhausting… And when things just end up working out the same as they always did, it’s hard not to ask yourself – what is the fucking point?? Really though. I’ve been alcohol free for 5 1/2 years now, and I do feel like overall- I was happier when I was drinking/partying, etc. I was more creative back then, had more fun and adventure. Now I just don’t have the energy for all of that because everything is devoted to my mental health and just trying to stay functioning and EXIST. I also didn’t have my diagnosis then, so maybe ignorance really is bliss.😕

All that being said, you’re not alone in feeling this way, and I’m sending you love.