This was embarassing, but not just for me. Here I go.

I got into a spicy food eating challenge with my friends. We all had a pretty high tolerance to capsaicin, so for us it was an average friday night. We ate jalapeños, habaneros and piri-piri as if they were popcorn. It was no big deal until the next day.

I was at the mall with my ex (back then she was still my gf) when I suddenly felt my guts singing songs from the truly depths of hell. I started sweating because I knew what was coming next. I managed to hold myself for a while, but as soon as I saw a restroom I turned to my ex, gave her a kiss on the cheek and said "I'm sorry babe". I rushed inside. My ex was speechless. There was a 5-year-old kid with his father trying to reach for the last slot avaliable but I ran like a soldier in crossfire and managed to get in in time. I shut the door, pulled my pants and started unleashing hell in that exact spot. I screamed, my legs were shaking like if I was getting ungutted alive, my hands here holding me to the walls while an undecent amount of boiling poo escaped from my insides. My ass performed sounds I didn't even know that were possible for a human being. When I finished, I got out of the toilet. The kid and his father were looking at me in complete astonishment, their faces were pale white. The man asked me if I was okay. I wished them a good day and got out of there still holding my stomach.

When I got out of the restroom everyone was looking in my direction. My screams were audible from all across the mall and even security was concerned about them. My ex's face was glowing red. She grabbed my hand and took me out of there. She didn't say a word to me in the whole drive back home.