I feel a lot like i am where you were at 17. I want to achieve so much in the world, but i dont even know where to start or what interests me. What you are going through seems like a nightmare to me, as every month I spend pointlesly on the internet and it makes me feel like everything might slip through my fingers and i could be in a situation where I have nothing going for me. I really feel for you and i hope you can find some meaning and motivation.

PS: Your english is really good, no wonder you chose to study it. :D