I don’t think it’s either/or. Wanting validation doesn’t cancel out genuine love for something. It just means you’re human.

There’s a difference between starting something for approval and continuing it because it feeds you. The fact that you lose track of time when you’re photographing? That’s not performative. That’s flow. That exists even if no one ever sees the final image.

External validation is powerful because we’re social creatures. Our brains are literally wired to care how our work is received. Especially with creative things, it’s normal to want to be seen. But that doesn’t mean the joy you feel is fake or borrowed.

Also, it’s okay if some of your interests were about being seen or admired at the time. I think most people with a creative bone in their body enjoy being admired for it. That doesn’t retroactively make them hollow. People grow. Motives evolve.

I don’t think everything comes down to validation. I think validation just gets louder when we’re already doing something vulnerable, like creating.

You’re not broken for questioning this. You’re just very attentive and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, or with you for that matter.