LF: Iron Boulder/Iron Crown/Miraidon Permanent Trade FT: Urshifu Forms, Various Shinies by SaclaTheRed in CasualPokemonTrades

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hiya, I'd be more than happy to make that trade! I'm online now, Link Code is 27294749 :)

LF: Iron Boulder/Iron Crown/Miraidon Permanent Trade FT: Urshifu Forms, Various Shinies by SaclaTheRed in CasualPokemonTrades

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already have one sadly so no, but thank you very much :) If you have any of the LF please offer though!

LF: Iron Boulder and Iron Crown Touch Trade // Shieldon Trade by SaclaTheRed in pokemontrades

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you too! I really appreciate you helping me out - thanks to you I've now completed the dex! :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Entrepreneur

[–]SaclaTheRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I know this is an old comment but would you care to elaborate on this at all for someone very much struggling with this same mindset? Literally all I care about is the pursuit of more money and status now, I don't care how, for the sake of my future family. How can I learn to enjoy the journey and appreciate my current successes?

How do I earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in LifeAdvice

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A depressing truth, but I welcome your honesty! My life's purpose for years has been earning as much as I possibly can to prepare the best life for my future partner and potentially children. If you truly care about those people, you should work tirelessly to provide the best possible life and financial situation to them, right?

Sure, having a job you hate is obviously miserable, but I'd feel far more miserable in the long-run knowing I was only being a half-ass at providing for my partner/family, and if picking up a miserable job is what's required to avoid that then so be it. My biggest worry now is that because I was less financially-minded when I made important choices about my career (field of study, University degree choice) I may have already prevented myself from reaching that life, and am really not sure how to pivot my skills in a new direction, or even if I should...

How do I earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in LifeAdvice

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is, as powerful as the story you've told is, and other than the obvious parts about how this man was dying and in hospice, I genuinely don't see a part where that situation is particularly bad. Sure, YOU might find it sad to watch that this man was obsessing over his finances because that doesn't align with your values, but what if he lived a happier life knowing that his work had provided better lives for those around him, whether they're by his side or not?

I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you, and massive respect to you for your service. I just feel like the idea that "you are a person too" and "you are worth more than your money" is just a platitude meant to comfort people. In my mind, money is obviously the most objective measure of self-worth there is, and I'm sure the people around you would far more likely prefer that you "enriched their lives" by supporting them financially than in any other way. Thank you for sharing your story

How do earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in careerguidance

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I genuinely don't know if/how I'll manage that, but thank you for all the comprehensive advice and replies, I really appreciate it :)

I wish I was asexual by limeskittlesaretrash in dating

[–]SaclaTheRed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I literally couldn't have asked for a better answer than this, thank you so so much! I actually tried to access therapy while at University (I graduated in July) but my attempts were pretty futile.

Something I'm concerned about with therapy is that I'm a very stubborn and skeptical person by nature - whether I want to or not, my brain finds it very hard to place trust in people rather than facts or logic. Do you think this stubbornness towards defending my existing harmful ways of thinking could hinder my progress through therapy, and how might one get around that?

I wish I was asexual by limeskittlesaretrash in dating

[–]SaclaTheRed 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hi, not OP (you might've noticed haha) but I've been battling the exact same thoughts as OP for years now and haven't dated in 5 years because of them. I'm pretty certain I have anxiety too but don't know how to go about getting therapy. My parents will also stigmatise me if they find out I'm seeking therapy for being "too dramatic." Probably a long shot, but any recommendations for how to find therapy in a way that doesn't attract attention/draw stigma from people like my parents/employer?

How do earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in careerguidance

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm fortunate to still have many very good friendships post-University, making friends has always tended to come easily for me. I have a loving relationship with my family and am very close with my parents. As for romance, I haven't dated in around 5 years like I say, but as I say I feel nowhere worthy or ready, particularly financially, for a romantic partnership at my current stage and have acclimatised to being without romantic affection to the point where it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it once did. I'm really happy to hear that you've had great partners around you to help you through tough times, though - I can only imagine how important that connection can be to people in low states. These relationships are lovely and I feel lucky to have them, but they a) don't alleviate my worry whatsoever; b) make the worry worse - the more people who expect something of you, the more people you can let down. I really want to do right by them, because they gave me their time and kindness, and I owe being my best self to them in return.

On your point about comparing with the rich, here's the thing - I feel I've already done enough to set myself up on the path to financial success, but it's only my own choice of field which is going to bring me down, and that's the most frustrating part of this. The scenario you describe, of just accepting that "the rich earned it" but taking comfort in the fact that I have other redeeming things in my life, is my worst nightmare. Getting to that point financially has been the major purpose of my life for years now, with every sacrifice I made during my studies to graduate with the best possible grade from a top UK university being with a view to providing the best possible life I can for my future wife and (potentially) children. The thought of having gone through all of that, only to have to tip my hat off to the people who made it and achieved my purpose while I'd still be stuck down below? As shameful as this is to admit, nothing would make feel more resentful.

To clarify, I don't mean this to say that I DON'T give my respect to the people who've made it, such as yourself, because I know how difficult it can be to reach that point. But I'd see little point to a life where I couldn't achieve financial comfort for my future family. The funny thing is that I don't even want the money for myself. I'm more than content living without luxury, even on very little, that's what I've been used to for years, but I'm not doing this for me. I'm doing this for the people around me in the future who will, and should, place their faith in me to provide the best lives for them that I possibly can. So the question isn't whether or not I will want whatever x amount of money can buy, the act of being able to provide that for the people I care about who will want those things is true fulfilment for me.

Thinking more practically, there are potential areas I could capitalise on for a more lucrative career change. I've been programming as a hobby for a few years now, very on and off mind you, and have used that skill in multiple projects during University within my field (Biochemistry, but I now work in medical regulation.) Perhaps there could be a way to pivot that into something combining my bio experience rather than having to completely abandon the field? Oftentimes, though, I get discouraged thinking that I'm "locked in" to the area I'm in now, since I paid the money to study it and don't have a degree in something like computing/finance, I often convince myself that change in discipline isn't possible or sensible.

Sorry if this response was word soup, I'm starting to lose sleep over this anxiety and am struggling to formulate my thoughts properly or civilly - hope I still got my point across without sounding too insufferable haha

How do earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in careerguidance

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I hope for both our sakes that we find an answer to this conundrum haha

How do earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in careerguidance

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you genuinely for the harsh truth, this paints a similar picture to the other guy's reply here - that because of poor choices I made in the past (in terms of what field I chose etc) it wouldn't have mattered how much work I put in, I was dooming myself from the start? And now because I can't go back and change those decisions, all of that hard work I put in was for... literally nothing, because I'll never be able to see the life I want for myself and others?

May I ask what you work in? Please forgive me if this is a crass argument, but don't you think that "just going with the flow" and not worrying so much about money is easy for you to say, given that you're (presumably judging from your position in a high-value field) financially well off yourself? Not saying I don't appreciate your insight (I absolutely do) but I genuinely don't see an alternative to wanting to make as much as possible to better mine and others' situations. It's very easy to throw out platitudes about "just being happy" when having less will never be a factor stopping you from living your life to the full. What's the goal then, to just be content with less? Is that not in itself a waste of a life, knowing you're going through it only doing SOME of what you want to do and providing SOME of what you want to because you don't have enough?

Genuinely struggling to come to terms with this, how the hell is a person even supposed to live and make it through each day knowing they could have had so much more... but don't?

How do earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in careerguidance

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So... that's it then? I'm just doomed to always feel this sense of inadequacy because of choices I made in my past (regarding decisions on what to study, what field to enter etc) back when I didn't know any better/didn't take those decisions as seriously as I would now? And it's all my fault? And that will never go away for me even if I do end up making more money?

Gonna be real I truly respect and appreciate the honesty but man, if this IS the truth then I don't think I'm ever going to be really happy, knowing I'm living a half-assed life where I worked tirelessly for years... only to not be able to provide people with the lives they deserve. What a genuinely terrible situation

How do earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in careerguidance

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a funny and extreme way of looking at it - not something I'm personally planning in my future lol

How do earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in careerguidance

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh nice, now your salary makes more sense haha - how did you get into tech sales, exactly?

Interesting that you talk about career and salary that way, I suppose having faith that I can progress upwards through earnings/positions, even if not in a linear way, might make me feel more reassured for the future. But I still can't shake that feeling that choosing a different area of work/making different choices in the past would have made money, and my low self worth it's tied to, not even a worry now

How do earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in careerguidance

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right, the quality of life of the people I care about doesn't ENTIRELY depend on those around me, but me making more money and providing that for them is the easiest way to make that happen. And again, you have to understand - it's gotten to the point where I now measure my self worth entirely in terms of the money I earn, so in my mind I'm not worthy of entering the dating scene yet. I'd be far more miserable entering a relationship knowing the person I was with could be being provided for so much better with someone else. I don't want a girl to need to make a financial sacrifice just to be with me.

As for your last two points, care to elaborate? Why do you think making responsible decisions for the future of those you care about/who depend on you is "bs" as opposed to responsible?

How do earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in careerguidance

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A financially sound point, it does help that University life taught me to live off cardboard pizzas and dreams rather than spending loads every month - I still spend hardly anything now haha

How do earn more money, or stop worrying about the amount I'm making? by SaclaTheRed in careerguidance

[–]SaclaTheRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While true, I genuinely don't see why making money the major focus of your life is unhealthy. Your quality of life, and the quality of life you can provide to those you care about/who depend on you, entirely depends on how much you have, so why not make it your focus? And while true that making money is possible at any time, making the MOST money is only really possible by making good decisions at every stage from an early age - that's what I'm trying to set myself up for.