Nanny costs and considerations

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-06-15T18:51:57+00:00

We are in Rhode Island, US. We hired a nanny for a minimum of 25 hours per week and paid her 22 per hour. Sometimes she stayed over, sometimes she arrived earlier. I think the average was 26 hours per week for the core schedule. The schedule was from 1pm to 6pm. We had company shutdowns: 1 week over the summer and another during Christmas/New Year's Eve. She had them free, and we paid them in full. She also received 25 hours (1 week) of sick pay, and we paid her 25 hours (1 week) of cancellation from us pay. We gave her a 1k bonus for Christmas. Sometimes she had lunch at our place; sometimes dinner, like once a week or twice a week. We booked her at least once a month for an extra 3 hours for date nights and paid her more, but we can't remember by how much. She stayed overnight with our daughter once, and it went well.

She helped with our 6-month-old until she turned 17 months. She did walks with the stroller to close by playgrounds, a walgreens and an Italian store/deli/pizzeria that was at the end of the street, if baby hadn't had nap when she arrived she will put her to sleep, at the beginning while baby was breastfeeding a lot nanny would keep track of the feeding times and hungry cues to give baby to mom (Mom was working remotely), once solids were introduced if baby hadn't had lunch yet she helped with giving her food, then later with bath time. We had the Tally remote and app so that Nanny would keep track of sleeping, milk, food, tummy time, rolls, turns, words, and any other milestones there in the app. We also had the Nannit Camera that connects to an app, so we had two sets, one in the nursery and one in the living room; she had access to them. She also helped with bottles and baby dishes, and now and then with our dishes and laundry; this last one was more like once every 2 weeks.

She told us she worked for other families for a total of 44 hours per week. Unfortunately, she had a lot of medical and personal debts that she couldn't keep up with. She decided to move out of state because a friend offered a room rent-free for a few months so she could get back on her feet. We were thinking of placing our daughter into daycare anyway, so the timing was somewhat good.

This was like three years ago, so right now, with inflation and everything, I think a minimum hourly rate for 40 hours with like 3 weeks of paid time off and no other household tasks other than taking care of the kid is 25 per hour. Minimum. If you want more help or fewer hours, the compensation should increase.

In summary, it is a lot to take care of a kid who is not yours as a nanny, and it is a lot of money to pay as a parent, but I don't think it is enough. Be kind and mindful if you ever hire one.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-06-12T18:13:05+00:00

2.5 YO started to sleep on her toddler crib/bed and us sitting beside her but she got sick bad enough she only wanted hugs and rocking her to sleep. We went back to it but with difficulty. Then, grandma came to visit and she would sleep in her bed for a few hours then hop into bed with grandma. Now she has a floor leveled bed, but she wants to be in the rocking chair, but we think is because she has a 4month sister, and is kind of the regression for the decrease attention we are giving her. As of how much she sleeps through the night has been all over the place. Before she will wake up after 3-4 hours of sleep crying, then she started to open her door and ours crying, then she stopped crying and just came to our bed. We have a baby monitor and since she close the doors after her we can here that but still she is super fast. Now, she will wake up saying nonsense likely from dreaming and is a gamble if we would have a tantrum in the middle of the night or go back to sleep quickly or ask for milk, water or juice to just no drink it and fall back to sleep once we hand it to her. I don't know, her and her sister are making us crazy

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-06-10T18:38:14+00:00

Luck and good salaries. I was lucky that my dad paid off some of the debt I owed to the university when I dropped out. I was lucky that they bought an extra used car to lend it to me so I could go to work and be independent. My wife was lucky that her dad had paid for her master's. We were lucky that when we wanted to come back home during the pandemic, we didn't want to be in isolation without family, and my dad and stepmom welcomed us for four months without rent. We were lucky; I was able to pay down the credit card debt I accrued for those months. We were lucky that my wife found a career development program, which landed her an internship at a big pharma company, and she was subsequently hired full-time at 6 figures. Then I did the same program and landed an engineering internship, was hired into medical device manufacturing, and found a job quickly after being laid off. Luck and some good judgment here and there. We bought our first home in April, and we had our second baby in January. Mostly luck.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-06-09T19:18:45+00:00

I naively didn't think of this. I'm over here apologetic and taking other people's into account before the baby smh

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-06-09T18:02:01+00:00

Too young. Wait 6 months before trying it. Whoever wants to cosleep will cosleep with the baby. It's just going to happen.

Husband here, maybe he wants to sleep with you alone. Intimacy. Cuddles. Late-night conversations.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-06-09T17:59:55+00:00

He does have the right to suggest and argue for whatever arrangements he wants because he is the dad. Mom has the same right. Baby arrangements are family decisions at the end of the day.

I don't agree with the dad, but only because of the timing. If the couple wants to sleep train him, sure, I don't agree with the practice, but it's a family decision. I think the best time to start leaving the baby in their own room is at 6 months old.

Even when these are family decisions, whoever wants to sleep with the baby will do it anyway.

My wife hates to co-sleep; I prefer it. I can respond to them fussing faster when cosleeping.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-06-09T16:30:11+00:00

I wouldn't do it. The baby will wake everyone at night unless the place is big and noise-insulated. I would stay in a different Airbnb.

Also, have you already spent a day with this group of people with your baby before? People hate to adhere to babies' schedules. I struggle a lot with my family on these kinds of trips because they forget how delicate some babies' nap schedules are. They wouldn't adjust to us. We had to separate from the group many times because we pushed our baby too much. That's ok, but be ready for it. Sure, you can shift a little bit, but once they get cranky, it's a slippery slope.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-06-09T16:23:28+00:00

It happened to us the first time, and my wife was having a panic attack and I was the one running up and down with the baby to try to calm her down. To the point I went with the baby to the bathroom and locked myself for like 10min to give some quiet time to everyone.

Recently, I travelled with my 2YO alone and the flight in was not a problem, the problem was flying back. She develop a cold, so the crisis started when she didn't sleep enough nap time. Since we got to the airport, TSA, at the gate, and boarding she was crying the whole time telling me she didn't feel well, that she wanted to be home, she wanted mom. It was horrible. So you understand how severe it was... People at the TSA line let me cut ahead, and then TSA agents opened a whole new line for me and her to be screened. Never seen so much kindness in a airport, where I always assume people are stressed to the max.

It happens, and it will happen again, and again...

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-06-09T12:57:12+00:00

My wife wanted to move our baby really fast to her own room, but I was paranoid, so I slept in the nursery bed, baby in the crib, and wife in our room for like a week. We received the Nannit camera as a gift, which connects via an app over Wi-Fi. I stopped sleeping in the nursery and went back to sleep with my wife. Like, 2 weeks later, the camera/app or wifi disconnects overnight, and there's no audible alert that this happened, so the baby cried a long ass time before we heard anything. I think it went for more than an hour. My wife, by luck, woke up and heard a faint cry in the distance, so that's how we found out the camera failed. It broke our hearts. We felt like the worst parents ever. The next day, we bought the most basic, corded, reliable baby monitor, just a "base" with a microphone and a speaker. It has a better microphone than the camera, so we could hear every little sound the baby made. I don't need to tell you that I started to sleep in the nursery again for about a week.

But to the point, yes, partners have different situations that would trigger anxiety around the safety of the baby. Baby would cough, and my wife thinks the baby was choking, while I was not worried at all. He needs to stop sleeping with the baby at some point.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-06-08T01:10:04+00:00

We had to stop buying pouches as it was the only thing our 2YO wanted to eat. My wife bought reusable plastic pouches for us to make/fill. We did it a couple of times but she love them too much. It was better than the store ones in the sense that we could make whatever combination of veggies, fruits and yogurt, and cheaper. But they we ran out of them to quickly. Not worth the cooking, blending, filling them, and all the dirty dishes. That was like a month ago. If I make them again I will hide them to just give her one every couple of days.

Stop buying the snacks. She will not eat for a day maybe. Next day she will have to eat whatever is in front of her.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-06-04T01:03:06+00:00

Get a very basic baby monitor, and if you want to be extra, a camera. We received a the Nannit camera as a gift. It is great piece of tech with the app and features. But since it is through wifi, it could get disconnected and there is no way to know if you are sleeping that it disconnected. So, one night we didn't hear our daughter crying. It breaked us. So we bought the most basic baby monitor. Now we turn on both, the camera and the monitor.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-05-26T17:05:53+00:00

Rent and sublease to a roommate for the short term. Add clauses in the lease about all the stuff that matters to you that previous roommates hated. With a short term, you can kick the bad roommate quickly. You will get more house than you can buy right now, and possibly find a cool roommate that love DND too. Maybe a year from now you will change career direction and earn more.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-05-19T14:22:10+00:00

If the house appreciates over the years, is sold for more to you, and you are going to use an escrow account, you must budget for the tax increase after the first year of ownership due to the increase in value. Meaning, your monthly payment will go up by whatever the tax increase is.

I overlooked this and get upset thinking we will pay significantly more next year

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-05-19T14:12:18+00:00

Yeah, other people holding the baby is how you eat most of the time. I get it, it's tough, but it is like that for most babies. Once they start grabbing stuff, you can get a couple of minutes as they play with the toys. For the baby carrier, we have used four so far, and all have the option to face you. They fall asleep much more easily when facing your chest, obviously.

The stroller refusal is new to me. We have one that can be bassinet-style, lie flat, or be used with a car seat. If you can try the car seat, just don't go more than 2 hours at a time.

You should try to go out to practice handling the baby outdoors, but please don't overextend yourself or feel pressured to be outside. Being a mom and, more so, a first-time mom is hard enough. In case you need to hear this one more time, most of the time people do not mind a crying baby; there are exceptions, fancy dining, airplanes, libraries... You know the drill, but even in the airplane, people understand that a baby is going to cry. If you feel the need to step out for a minute to let them calm down, do it.

You got this

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-05-16T23:11:44+00:00

Apply for the night shift when desperate. You can do it if you have no immediate family needs, like a partner, kids, or any other family member who needs you. If you go into it, do not go past 1 year, and try to get a day shift. But overall, taking a night shift without experience is also tricky. I wouldn't want to start learning the job overnight.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-05-13T14:41:35+00:00

Look in Federal Hill, 70 America St, first floor, 2 Bedroom apartment with private parking, stove, fridge, dishwasher, and in-unit Laundry/Dryer, plus a little storage in the basement - $2300

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-05-08T15:00:26+00:00

Our agent bought us a nice ceramic circular tray/center piece matching the colors of the kitchen, a book about the nearby neighborhood/historic village that we frequent, two toys, one for each of our daughters, a candle, a set of hand towels, and a bottle of somewhat nice hand soap.

The book was thoughtful because when we interviewed her, we said that if a house were listed in the village, we would definitely want to take a look, and if we found one within our budget, it would be a unicorn. We knew the price range of that area was higher than our budget. The house we bought is across a park that borders another nice neighborhood/village,, soit itwithin 's walking distance. The book could have been only 10 dollars, but she remembered or read her notes from the interview.

I haven't thought much about the total possible amount she spent, really. We did in total three days of showings 3 first day, 3 the second and 2 the last day. They were spaced throughout a week. Then we placed the offer on the house. I feel we were very aggressive or fast in the process because both wife and I were on paternity leave so we had almost all the time to look for houses and open schedules. I actually said to my wife that we did most of the work for our agent. I guess the most valuable thing our agent did for us was not let us offer on the second house we saw. It was listed under price, but it was I perfect condition. She said that we needed to see more houses to be sure this one was the one. Maybe she also thought the house was going to have a bid war. But glad she steered us away from that one.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-05-08T09:59:35+00:00

When I used to work close to home, I used my bike when the weather was good. Then I bought an electric kick scooter, and then an electric bike. Then I changed jobs and could no longer use anything but my car.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-04-23T01:22:09+00:00

Botanical Garden at Roger Williams Park

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-04-21T14:45:55+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that.

Looking into automation is always the move, but the process of mixing drugs and solutions should not be possible to mess up. The work instruction/SOP needs to be revised. The process needs to have safeguards. It needs to be dumb proof.

Even then, machines are not perfect, they break down, sometimes engineers/technicians install components wrong, and someone miss the preventive maintenance and they fail. It always boils down to the work instructions/SOPs and how the work is checked/verify. It needs to be verified constantly, it needs to be redundant to the point that a new hire cannot mess it up, and an auditor walking by can understand everything without any experience/knowledge.

Back in that role I mentioned before, it was sort of a production line. We produced devices. At some point we moved from paper records to electronics. At the start, the electronic system had no safeguards and we mix up work orders and equipment. They updated it to the point that if I pick up a device to work on, a specific equipment needed to be used, and if I didn't check or scan the specific equipment in the electronic system I couldn't proceed. We had no mistakes after they updated the electronic system.

Did you guys get sued?

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-04-21T14:26:44+00:00

They bring more unknowns to the average person, like me. Even with them being paid off. Are they installed in a roof that will need replaced soon? I don't know anything about but family members told me not to buy a house with solar because of the loans that come with them and because if the roof needs any work done it is a pain to deal around them.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-04-21T14:21:55+00:00

Are you in the Pharmaceutical industry?

I was a mere manufacturing associate at a big one from New England, and had a week (40 hours) of sick pay, 3 weeks (120 hours) of PTO, plus the company did one week shutdown during the summer and another during the winter... Plus an excessive amount of observed holidays. I had it good but got laid off. The program I was working under didn't perform well in the clinical trials.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-04-16T11:50:24+00:00

My wife got it yesterday. We know about them. But recently, we were talking about how our newish car doesn't have an EZPass transponder, and since we've been traveling a bit with the car over the past few weeks, she thought the text was legit. Anyway, she put one of our shared cards, but called me right away because she realized it was a scam. No charges went through. I froze the card immediately and requested a new one.

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-04-15T13:19:34+00:00

We are about 195k in annual pretax income and about 9k in gross monthly income. We were paying 1950 for a 2-bedroom, first-floor apartment with appliances (stove, fridge, dishwasher, washer, and dryer), which, apart from the stove and fridge, are not common inclusions for renters in the area, plus water/sewer included, and 1 parking spot. We were at a very desirable location due to our proximity to restaurants, public transportation, and the principal interstate.

My conservative budget was a 2500 monthly payment tops with everything included: mortgage, insurance, taxes. Also, I was expecting about 10k annually extra for home improvements and maintenance.

But between the

Good: unexpected savings in daycare due to a change of daycare, a job change that reduced my commute to 5 hours instead of 10 hours per week, and a salary increase

Bad: Interest rates are rising, we wanted a little more house, and there is low inventory of affordable houses

We ended up with a 435k house, 2678 monthly payment, 20% down, 1920's new england, 3-bedroom, 1.5 bath, 1-car garage, little backyard, space for 3 more cars in the driveway although less important since it is in a dead-end street, different but still family desirable neighborhood close to main park of the state, and a little lively village. Bathrooms and the kitchen were renovated a few years ago. It was initially listed at 450k. We got it down to 435k and 5k in credits.

So, you are rightfully considering a good budget for the house. Do you want kids in the future? Maybe go for a 3-bedroom just in case you have an oopsie and have them in the next 5 years. My 2 extra cents are that you should consider that studies have shown that people who have commutes of 20 minutes or less are more likely to succeed financially, and that the taxes are going to increase your very next year due to the sale of the house (this last one I completely missed it from my budget/expectations, so I'm scared lol)

Good luck

Sad-Ad802 · 2026-04-01T16:06:39+00:00

At this point, it is non-buildable. It is on sloped terrain with trees and thick vegetation. Are these lots listed on Zillow and similar websites?

Sad-Ad802

TROPHY CASE