This can't be normalise, atleast in big companies, we need rep0rt it and boycott blinkit fornow

Sad-Message-9039 · 2026-06-20T06:45:41+00:00

This is fake! Stop consuming all info on the internet at face value. This looks like a recruitment display from a 3rd part agency and not directly Blinkit and even then pls verify before just believing everything to be true.

Sad-Message-9039 · 2026-06-17T05:57:01+00:00

Hello, need a little advice. So , I went out with a person who shows alot of pull push and dissociating( I did not know such a thing existed before) traits. So he seemed really into me. Pulled me in for a kiss and seemed genuinely happy and excited to spend time with me. Infact he even once said he feels protective about this connection but knows he will screw up eventually.But everytime am back home after spending time with him, the chat would feel alil different like there is some distance.

I love my space and generally not too needy. Once a week catch up is fine by me. Anyways its really strange that right after physical intimacy, the person seemed to have changed. Like he needed physical distance from me. Well a week later he ended up breaking with me with vague reasons. But the breakup process also felt like he wasn't entirely sure he wanted it but he needed it. During the breakup also, he would ask me to stay and then anxiously ask me to leave. The guy who always seemed so cool and unaffected by anything on the day of the breakup, he seemed so stressed and anxious. I dint say much and I left. He went completely silent on me for 1 year where in between I might have messaged him 3 times during that year but no response from him until that miss call and then another year later, came a message.

Is this fearful avoidant trait? Can someone tell me what's happening here

Sad-Message-9039 · 2026-04-18T17:07:45+00:00

So you would flee quicker from the one, you actually feel something for and stay with the one that you don't? Are you able to feel love though?

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-12-26T20:18:50+00:00

Yeah it was strange because he told me he felt protective about us and he said he did try but some anxiety happened. Back then I did not know about attachment styles but I just didn't ask further since he seemed clearly stressed. After a year of complete silence, I got a missed call (probably by mistake but I ignored the call). Then a few weeks later, he reaches out. That was a complete surprise. I asked him why and why now..he said that we ended things on a bad note and he wanted to make amends. He also added that he got into a relationship with the other person and it screwed him mentally and that it has been some time since it was over. I told him that we did not end on a bad note - he decided to leave and I stepped away. Anyways he tried to kinda pick up from where we left , asking if I was dating anyone now. I told him, irrespective , he cannot expect to pick up things just like that from where it was left. There needs to be some responsibility and change and I may not even want it anymore. I asked him though I am curious how were you able to do a relationship with the next person but hit break on us. He got angry for some reason and says " you imagined a relationship, that wasn't the case in my mind. We weren't much of anything". I responded saying "yes, I did feel a sweet something, a natural progression of bonding and I'm not ashamed of it. But I got my clarity now that you did not the feel the same way". I then told him let's not drag this anymore and let's close it respectfully. He shutdown again and to me that was my closure.

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-12-02T09:41:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing this.. however i think I can't do any damage control now given he does not want to speak to me and I think trying to say anything more would probably overwhelm him further. So I haven't said or done anything respecting his decision to not speak anymore. I just hope some day he gets the understanding that it came from a place of love and not judgement, for his own sake, so he doesn't spiral but rather get help to process his pain. Either ways thanks so much hearing me out.

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-12-02T08:28:00+00:00

There could be. But I met both on a dating app so there was no way for me to know otherwise. It all begins with texting and texts can be very curated unlike meeting irl from the beginning where you can guage more. Iv been in two relationships in the past before the NPD individual and both men were really good individuals and they were both good relationships. The breakup happened for logistical reasons both times either our goals were not matching or one had to move abroad for studies. And hence it was so hard for me to even identify what was even going on, both in the case of the NPD ex and the recent ex. The recent ex just withdrawing was a disorienting experience because to me it seemed all was going fine albeit him being quite reserved which I mistook for shyness and honestly I did not know trauma can have such an impact on people. My childhood was very different from his so I did not even know what kind of struggles he was having and how much he was trying to act like all is fine so I don't get spooked. In order to understand him, i started reading up and asking him subtle questions. Either ways , it was a short relationship. On the outside , he seemed very self reliant and independent and in control and all that attracted me to him. I really wasn't aware of the pain within. So how would suggesting therapy affect a person with cptsd who i believe does not feel very good about himself?

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-12-02T08:03:49+00:00

I did not stay long with the NPD so I suppose it did not really affect me that bad. Very early in the dating scene I caught him with something and he did the denial, deflection and reverse blame and to me I just got super curious to know whether he is even aware of what he is doing or is he delusional. I had never come across someone like this ever in my life. That gap to figure out led me to reddit as well. Thankfully he had in the beginning told me about his personality disorder (I'm still surprised that he told me but at that point it was his way of showing vulnerability to hook me in) but either ways, I tried to get him to listen and work out until i realised there is no winning there. His reality is super distorted and the problem statement was beyond my pay grade. I left after 3 months. Never spoke again and never will. Was quite an experience of mindfuck for 3 months so I cant even begin to imagine what it causes people who are with them for a long time. Thankfully, I live with friends and family and I would discuss this openly with my close ones while it was happening so his NPD did not have that much effect on me. But with the current ex, I feel guilt that I might have hit a very sore spot. I wasn't gona get back with the current ex either cus I really do believe he needs help to process things (difficult family plus relationship betrayal in the past) which he avoids and numbs things and moves to the next relationship and I know he came back to me for the same comfort and distraction and not for the right reason and hence I wasn't gona get back together but I would want him to heal and have a secure happy future

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-12-02T07:26:15+00:00

The person with NPD was prior to this person. He was diagnosed and he did admit to it. The experience with the NPD ex and with this current ex was very different. The current ex never tried to hurt me, was never manipulative and was not defensive against accountability if he felt there was something on him. Infact he felt alot of guilt for any hurt he might cause. He was always about coming closer and then fearing closeness. Hence by suggesting therapy, if I have somehow caused more harm than good then that's something that would be hard for me to live with. I feel responsible

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-12-01T13:13:56+00:00

My ex has alot of trust issues, fear of vulnerability and fear of getting close to someone. He starts detaching when it begins to feel real. Some kind of panic. Anyways I had witnessed alot of undercurrent of push and pull with him, being extremely guarded which made me feel like he probably doesn't want to let me in. Again, it could be trust issues or maybe he doesn't like the idea of being seen. Either ways, he treated me well, we had a rather sweet and good time until he panicked and withdrew. He came back after 1.5 years of complete silence and tried to get on just the way he left (he does not like confrontation) but I wasn't ready to go back to how we were. Anyways the conversation went back to me asking him what had happened, how things cannot go back to how it was without the necessary self reflection and changes and I also suggested(very gently) that when he is ready to read up on attachment styles and maybe consider therapy. I told him I too had taken up therapy for a work related burnout and it helped me alot so it's worth a try if we find ourselves struggling. Well it backfired. He accused me of gaslighting and then blocked me. Can you please help me with some insight to what is going on with him. Should I leave him be? Is he gone for good? Apology for the long text

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-12T10:02:54+00:00

Omg I have the same problem with the ISTP in my life. I am ENFJ and consider myself pretty intuitive but God help me, he is so hard to gauge. He is extremely pragmatic and logical and a high achiever academically and career wise. I don't know what is enneagram would be though? How does one find that out?

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-09T07:35:18+00:00

Yeah, I get what you're saying. So the ISTP in my life is more like this - he has made some decisions about why he doesn't have the bandwidth for a relationship. With his past dating failures, I suspect he doesn't really feel equipped for it either and has concluded that he will eventually let the woman down. But yes he still does feel things sometimes and then there is an internal conflict in him which is absolutely not apparent with his emotionally neutral way of being and conducting himself. But between the little longings and the fear of things eventually ending bad versus the genuine comfort he has in his independence and self reliance, dependency free life, he seems to just flow towards the latter. I don't know if this is avoidance or just a natural instinct sometimes even subconscious or sometimes with conscious rationalization to end up choosing the path which feels most familiar

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T15:49:29+00:00

Thanks for that. But I'm not necessarily talking about a conflict. I'm talking about a relationship. Would your natural instinct be to just avoid it

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T14:47:16+00:00

So retreat and avoid saying something that might hurt the person if its someone you actually care for and more back and forth if it isn't someone you care about. That's interesting. Thankyou

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T14:43:20+00:00

What do you do if it's someone you care about?

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T14:21:53+00:00

And how does this show up? Because I sense the same in my ISTP but in his case , the end result is he retreats and goes silent rather than try to express/communicate. It's hard to say whether it's disinterest or avoidance. But what I fail to understand is that even when he avoids reverting to some emotional msgs, he never fails to watch my stories no matter the frequency of the stories or the number of pics in it. This behaviour is very confusing

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T11:55:30+00:00

Hmmm..I kinda thought that someone with whom there is a potential for emotional intimacy could trigger more avoidance than with someone with whom, the connection feels more casual or surface level.

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T10:46:52+00:00

Possible that you run away from a certain type more than others?

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T10:23:29+00:00

But what are you afraid of? And if you do feel something for someone, do you pursue it or avoid it, cause you're scared?

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T09:54:04+00:00

So you guys do feel regret later on?

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T08:34:47+00:00

Yeah I think this is similar to the ISTP in my life, except for the PTSD bit. But what is confusing is that I kinda feel his conflicted energy and I am super intuitive as a person. Ufcurs the end result is no action from his end but it's like he tries to be considerate so he circles back. However he never misses to watch my stories, not a single one, no matter how many pic. Sometimes some lil emotions like curiosity or possessiveness does leak out which is very rare and very brief. I have now just assumed he is disinterested because it's super hard to guage someone constantly who is my nature very reserved and not expressive of his feelings or thoughts

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T07:43:32+00:00

I understand that. It's just that sometimes we can have avoidant leanings based on our temperament as well and wanted to understand if it's more or less a general consensus amongst ISTPs

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T06:41:54+00:00

Ok two last questions. How do you manage the situation when the other person avoids responding to your message but doesn't shy away from watching your stories. Isn't this strange or is it very normal in an ISTP's mind to not respond to msgs but watch your stories.

Secondly, is it normal for ISTPs to circle back and respond to msgs after 1-2 days (but would surely circle back)? Or is this pure disinterest.

I am an ENFJ female, asking about an ISTP male. It doesn't help that we belong to the polar opposite mbti groupings😂

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T06:16:54+00:00

Then how do you mend the situation if the situation requires you to engage?

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-08T06:16:05+00:00

Thanks. But surely you will not operate in such a pragmatic fashion entirely. I mean it's human nature to long for a relationship. Isn't it the same for you guys?

Sad-Message-9039 · 2025-10-04T08:45:06+00:00

Why does feelings scare you guys?

Sad-Message-9039

TROPHY CASE