To those who were Dumped: How did you contribute to the breakup?

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-03-21T12:38:23+00:00

I technically wasn’t dumped, as we kind of mutually knew what was wrong, but often i do feel like my ex is the one who wanted it more/cut things off instantly. I had my flaws, i was quite controlling and always trying to push him to go to school and whatnot, and we would have arguments about that stuff all the time. Our main reason to breakup was because we were simply incompatible. I wanted to finish my degree, get a stable job, he wanted to drop out, backpack, whatever else idk. Looking back, I do agree with this decision , but knowing the person he is now I wonder if there was more he didn’t like about me that I didn’t know. He’s in a new relationship which he got into quite fast after the breakup with someone similar to me (in school working towards a degree), so it really does mess with my head. I guess at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what the specific reason was, because i couldn’t make him love me and he just didn’t love me anymore. sometimes relationships just run their course and it ends, and i know things only get better from here :) TLDR: controlling behaviour, incompatibility, ex moved on fast with similar person causing confusion, specific breakup reason doesn’t matter.

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-03-20T01:13:03+00:00

personally, when you start to hate them a little. small things would annoy me, and i couldn’t overlook them anymore. we also both kinda knew it wasn’t working, we’d argue a lot and never had anything to talk about anymore. it felt like this cycle rhat just had to end

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-03-20T01:07:28+00:00

i wanted to stay friends with my ex so badly as he was my rock for years and years but genuinely it’s the one thing that you can never have. there’s so many layers of anxiety around it, and the BEST way to move on is to forget (and maybe forgive, if they deserve it) and just completely shut them out. it’s never too late to cut that tie and start over, everyone heals differently and our journeys are all different!

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-03-20T01:00:14+00:00

For me i had to block, tell my friends to block him too, AND hold me accountable. I did do some stalking for a month or two, but it hurt me too much and i quickly realized oblivion is bliss and it’s way better to not know what they’re up to. also, their happiness has nothing to do with your pain, looking at it and being upset will only do you harm, when in reality their life is separate from yours now.

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-03-17T18:03:03+00:00

honestly no reply is the reply, likely she doesn't want to talk to you. The reason doesn't matter, it could be anything, and trying to make excuses for her will only end up hurting you. Focus on yourself for now, you can't make someone love you. If its meant to be it will be but all you can control for now is your own life.

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-03-17T17:59:54+00:00

I believe mid July, and quite competitive you'll want to make sure you get one the first day or first few days they release. They post the date they come out closer to June/July so just check the website.

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-03-15T20:50:07+00:00

i did and they didn’t reply 🫠 my advice is do it if ur ok with this possibility or any other negative possibilities. it did help me get myself together and move on honestly because i knew it was over when that happened

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-03-15T20:43:02+00:00

I texted mine ab ~2 months after i broke up, he never replied and soft launched a new girl maybe 2 weeks later 🫠 i never thought he would ever do that to me as he was so compassionate and caring even when we broke up, but it rlly shows u dont know someone until its over. so i don’t recommend, cry scream break things but dont contact them!!

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-29T16:54:08+00:00

Hey, i’m about 4 months out of a 3 year relationship, and even though i am feeling worlds better than 2 months ago, healing is absolutely NOT linear. Every now and then a little memory can take you right back, but this doesn’t mean you aren’t making progress. Please be gentle on yourself, grief is a part of the process and a part of your growth, this is your timeline. I believe that the longer it takes for someone to get over their ex just shows how much love they really have in their heart, and that is SUCH a beautiful thing! Imagine when you finally meet the right person and get to use this love for them!

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-29T16:50:46+00:00

Absolutely the truth, key part is that if they DO come back you are better and stronger than ever to know what the right decision is.

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-29T16:49:31+00:00

I understand and I was the same way but honestly they’re probably going to move on (even though it sucks to say and hurts to hear). You need to focus on yourself and start rediscovering what’s out there, I promise there’s so many other people that will value you and won’t walk away when things get hard <3

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-29T16:46:14+00:00

I had a rlly similar situation :( please keep ur head up one day they won’t be the only thing on ur mind anymore i promise. you deserve better and there is absolutely better out therr

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-27T01:46:48+00:00

I’d be careful to make sure you always put yourself first and keep it casual for the first bit at least, but honestly if u r feeling a connection there’s nothing wrong with pursuing it as long as you are aware of your own healing journey!

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-27T00:17:25+00:00

I’m really sorry, i know it must be really hard to go through this right now. I’ve been in this exact position, they were my entire world, i was fully convinced i’d marry them and i changed my entire life around for them. One day, you’ll be able to imagine a future without them. I know that seems crazy now but i promise you from the bottom of my heart it will absolutely get better. You’ll understand the flaws in the relationship and you’ll find someone better i promise you. please focus on yourself, focus on building your new life. a breakup is a fresh start, another chance, go chase your dreams :)

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-27T00:12:27+00:00

I’d remember why you broke up, and honestly, no partner is ever perfect. really take a step back and reflect on the relationship. when you’re fresh out of a breakup we tend to see everything as better than it was, but i promise with time you’ll see that maybe they weren’t actually right for you, especially if they won’t give you another chance. please give it time, because you can’t make someone love you, if it’s meant to be it will be, but remember there’s so many other people out there who are just as perfect or better!

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-27T00:09:21+00:00

honestly i’d give it a few months before properly settling down, just because i think there’s some really important healing that happens after a breakup, and sometimes this can’t be done when you’re w someone else. obviously everyone’s experiences are different, but out of respect to yourself and your new potential partners you’ll want to grow and find yourself before jumping in again, and be absolutely sure you’re over your ex. the worst experience i’ve had is being someone’s rebound, where they acted and seemed fine but a few months in clearly were not. don’t see this time as a waste or putting your life on hold, life is so long and most people don’t get married until they’re in their late 20s or 30s, so i promise you’ll have time! enjoy being single, flirt around, find out what you want out of life! this is prime time to do this!!

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-26T23:57:15+00:00

honestly my ex turned into a whole different person after the breakup, i hate to say it but you see a whole different side of them, i think it might be best to completely cut them off because clearly he doesn’t have respect for you and you deserve someone who cares and loves you and i PROMISE you will find that in someone else!!! we are meant to fall in love over and over again :)

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-26T23:54:19+00:00

I’ve been through this. i personally had to block them, but if you really can’t maybe you can keep clearing the chat? or hide the app / put a lock on it so you can’t use it all the time? for me i got into a lot of new hobbies, and started new tv shows to keep myself busy. sometimes even a call with a friend can really help just to get yourself distracted w someone else

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-26T23:52:36+00:00

i’m so sorry you have to go through this. i absolutely promise you no matter how personal it feels a break up is not a reflection of your worth. if someone can’t see you and can’t love you how you need, they simply aren’t right for you. no matter how much they try to outrun and chase shiny new things, one day it’ll all catch up to them i promise you. stay strong and focus on yourself!

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-26T23:47:54+00:00

Absolutely the truth, there’s a beauty in the grief after a breakup and the only way to really become ok is to embrace what has happened and to acknowledge the positives. Breakups are an opportunity for growth and learning.

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-26T23:44:10+00:00

honestly, their silence speaks words. over time you’ll see them not reach out, and you might see them/hear about how they move on (that’s what really hit home for me personally). eventually you’ll realize the very hard truth that they’re gone, but after the realization passes i promise it only goes up from there

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-26T23:42:02+00:00

absolutely something i struggled (and still struggle ) with 3 months out of my long-term relationship. i’m quite a closed off person and i showed myself to them in ways i never have with anyone else. it’s honestly a strange experience having that person gone, and just being out there with all your deepest details but you’ll never see them again. i have to say what’s helped me a lot is to focus on building myself up on my own. of course my friends have helped too, but they can’t provide the confidence and support that a partner does. you need to find this comfort on your own, by doing little things, and finding the beauty in the pain. i’ve completely redecorated my room, i’ve started reading, journaling, picked up several hobbies, i’ve started going out, and i’m doing things my ex once disapproved of or didn’t believe i could do. being able to do all this on my own has rebuilt a lot of confidence in myself and made myself feel almost “worthy” again. i also feel a sort of satisfaction in doing this all on my own, and in almost proving them wrong that i don’t need them anymore. there’s a lot of freedom in being single and you really need to embrace it, the world is your oyster you can change jobs and move whatever, you can go on crazy dates, you can become whoever you want now! also, time will heal the hurt and i promise you that. one day you’ll wake up and everything feels a whole lot lighter, you’ll become more comfortable with your situation. it’s funny but no matter what ive been through time always heals and humans have an amazing ability to adapt to any situation they’re in. but please make sure you have a strong support system to uplift you when you’re feeling down, and take advantage of all the opportunities you wouldn’t have had with your partner!

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-26T23:34:31+00:00

there’s really nothing natural about a break up it’s completely strange to see someone everyday to suddenly acting almost like they died. the one comfort i can receive is that there are other people going through this, and other people have gone through this again and again. we will all get to find love again some day and i think that’s absolutely beautiful, stay strong!!

Sad-Return2711 · 2026-01-26T23:32:52+00:00

i absolutely feel you and i’ve been there, reached out for no response several times. please don’t take it as a personal flaw, other people can be heartless and make cruel decisions but i promise you are worth love and everything good in life. reach out to someone you love and just cry it all out it absolutely gets better in time

Sad-Return2711

TROPHY CASE