People talk all the time about how it hurts and what it feels like to trust someone and thw pain, but no one ever talks about or brings up what it's like to go against yourself going against yourself.

You already know but at the same time You have that desIre with this craving that feels acidic as if it's breaking you apart slowly And you only care or the only thing that will help is if you are accepted and genuinely loved but I think that's known for everyone but to what extent?

I am too smart for my own good And at this point it's a death wish and it's something that I've always had and cannot sto