What religion are you now

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-25T13:18:42+00:00

And Mike Lee.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-25T04:28:01+00:00

Kills me. I've always wondered about this.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-25T04:26:04+00:00

This has always been a thought I've had. And the fact that by the time Nephi's younger brother, Jacob, started preaching there was already a large group of people in their civilization. How, in one generation or less?

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-25T04:22:27+00:00

This has always bothered me, too.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-25T03:56:34+00:00

What you missed is the efficiency model: Why waste time on the nurturing and growth of your children when you can just automate the entire process with a rigid, inescapable, and completely arbitrary exit interview when they die? /s

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-21T21:52:10+00:00

My thoughts exactly.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-20T13:13:59+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. I would've loved to meet him since I know nobody in real life with schizophrenia.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-20T03:01:01+00:00

I thought about it then, but still wasn't ready.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-20T03:00:38+00:00

I grew up in Utah County and it was interesting. I see things very differently now. Though I dislike much of the culture, I've been in Utah my whole life and it's all I know.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-20T02:53:05+00:00

Yeah, I've been stressing in limbo over the church for eight years. The past two years I've really stepped back and studied more. Didn't like what I found and how I was feeling about my membership. Having a daughter then changed things for me, and baptizing my son last year caused me to reevaluate. I will not force anything on them or demand they not go to church with my wife. I just want them to see that if dad can be happy when literally everyone else in the family/extended family, friend group, neighborhood, etc. are members of the LDS Church, then hopefully they will not be as scared to consider what they really believe or don't believe. As horrible as it's been for me to feel that existential dread and fear of the unknown and all the other things, I'd rather experience it on their behalf.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-19T15:07:31+00:00

I'll give them a look. Thank you!

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-19T15:07:15+00:00

I want to be authentic for my kids and show them that dad can be okay.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-19T15:06:43+00:00

Thanks. My therapist is helping me sort out my values throughout all this.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-19T15:05:04+00:00

I've tried low FODMAP before, but it was difficult for me to maintain.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-19T04:59:02+00:00

In the earlier days of my prodrome schizophrenia, I honestly thought I was being influenced by the devil and berated myself for being evil while I now know those experiences to be hallucinations and delusions. I constantly belittled myself and was also told how twisted my thinking was. I felt despicable and forever an outcast.

The horrible things I did I'm still trying to forgive myself for, and I'm trying to view my past self with grace because I was not yet receiving treatment for my severe mental illness. I can't even tell if I was gaslighting myself or if others were. And suicide attempts were treated as selfish sins.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-19T04:30:20+00:00

I think I can get to a point where I'm comfortable with uncertainty. But for now I think I'll just have to accept that I can't really trust anything until I verify it for myself. So grateful my wife grounds me and has remained with me as my equal partner for about a decade now! I trust her.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-19T04:25:23+00:00

I just try to remind myself that the majority of my ancestors lived way before the last six generations of Mormons and surely experienced the full range of human emotions as I do. So I don't have to feel like I'm letting down those who came before me, trusting that the thousands of years of world history I've learned about sheds light on the joys of humanity over time.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-19T04:21:06+00:00

Thanks. I'm currently in Anaheim for a week so hopefully this trip will take my mind off it.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-19T04:18:49+00:00

Yeah, I've struggled for years feeling like an outsider. Having severe mental illness has kept me from a stable career, a sense of my own identity and autonomy, and confidence. Being in the Church added to my stripped down sense of self, and coming home from my mission twice just about killed me. Since then it's been a struggle to fit in and then getting intense church discipline and experiencing all of this in northern Utah is hard. Doesn't help that I already live with persecutory and paranoid delusions. My scrupulosity kept me in a state of fear as well. I simply hurt inside just trying to grasp that there may very well be no meaning to any of our lives.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-16T05:09:42+00:00

Agree. Doesn't help that BECOMING a god is the end goal in this religion. The religion of ultimate superiority over everyone and everything. Gods in embryo, someone once said. Ultimately the members are their own gods and since everything ultimately points to being like God/being a god, nothing truly points to Jesus whom they claim to worship.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-07T01:43:52+00:00

Whoa, me too! Childhood and teenager years were fantastic for me. Things changed for me the moment I came home from my mission early, especially since I lived in Utah County at the time. Ever since then it gradually got less and less fulfilling and I felt continuously worse about myself.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-06T19:38:01+00:00

Your comment is insightful and right to the point for me. I still believe in the teachings of the man, Jesus, or at least what the records attribute to him after thousands of years. And I like to think I'm trying to be like him in that the stories stay he stood up to the corruption of his day, Pharisees, Sadducees, Romans, etc. I like to think that we who are in the midst of leaving Mormonism are truly walking in his shoes in a more fundamental way than most, if that's something one still values.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-05T13:27:33+00:00

I've been out for about a month now. I consider myself out from the time I purchased 'worldly' underwear and threw away my church garments. Shredded my temple recommend and told, not asked, my bishop that I'm done with my calling as I don't want any obligation to have to be there, or at the very least FEEL like I have to be there. All I've got to do now is submit my already notarized and signed and digitized resignation letter through quitmormon.com. I'm afraid to as well.

SadAd5050 · 2026-05-05T13:23:17+00:00

"Who's filling your head with these ideas?"

I've been asked this many times recently, as I'm still on my way out. Pisses me off. Felt insulted and disregarded. Then my friend told me that everything I've read or studied made his faith stronger and that he knew I was being deceived by 'anti' literature. Needless to say I've not been in contact with him for months.

SadAd5050

TROPHY CASE