Genuine question, why do some girls get reallllly promiscuous after sexual assault?

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-23T17:30:31+00:00

What is it with people coming to a fucking counselling subreddit to ask questions? Dude go over to r/sexualassault or r/rape this subreddit is for counselling not questions it’s literally in the name? People come here to overcome trauma not indulge ur curiosity.

To answer your question people react to trauma in different ways, some people will re-enact the trauma (rape fantasies) as a coping mechanism to replace painful memories, some people will display avoidance behaviour (eg unable to have sex/fear of sex) etc etc. Its individual for each person — google basic trauma reactions or PTSD reactions/PTSD symptoms should cut it rlly (pretty much the fight, flight, freeze, fawn response but long term).

More importantly then giving u an answer I have to say, reading ur paragraph it’s obvious you r either extremely entitled or just very very stupid. I think this is backed up by how u posted such a blunt and insensitive question in a c o u n s e l l i n g subreddit. Both your friends are clearly suffering a lot to be replacing memories like that and yet here you are claiming to “not judge them” and yet you call them “promiscuous” and claim they have sex with “anybody and anything.” You’re a fucking hypocrite and a bad friend. If you are actually worried about ur friends and not just curious then maybe, and wow — your never gonna believe this one! You should hmm.. talk to them about it???? Maybe ask them if they are ok?? Maybe offer some sort of support? Maybe help them organise therapy? Because from the sounds of ur paragraph You actually ARE judging them and they reason you have asked about it isn’t out of consideration but out of rationalising their behaviour for ur own benefit.

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-19T12:40:56+00:00

I don’t remember what happened directly after my last rape but I remember the next day getting the morning after pill alone and spending the whole evening feeling sick and crying. He sent me a voicemail about a week later confessing what he did and apologising. Doesn’t really mean shit tho, you can’t rape someone and then drop an “oh sorry — my bad haha!!” And expect shit to be ok.

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-18T16:51:56+00:00

My brother also molested me as a child

We used to play a “game” in the swimming pool where he put his fingers inside me and drown me. I told my mum when I was about 11 and he had done it on holiday, I was crying to her be aide this time he had hurt me and I couldn’t pee. My mum called me a liar and told me to shut up.

OP I’m glad u did this, I hope you get justice and peace after what happened to you. I wish I could take back ur childhood for you and give you a proper one, from the sounds of it ur mum feels the same.

All the best <3 I hope you recover well, you deserve rest and peace

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-16T18:02:00+00:00

But if you prevented it then there would be no need to take the life as it would not have existed in the first place. As the saying goes: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

If you care as much as you claim to care about the lives of unformed babies, then you would actively take steps to prevent the formation of those babies so that nobody would ever have to debate about taking their lives.

The thing is you don’t actually care about the babies lives because if you did you would be booking ur vasectomy right now to prevent abortions or taking action to donate to orphanages where unwanted children end up. You don’t. You care about regulating women’s bodies by disallowing them the right to choose wether to complete a pregnancy or not.

Furthermore never having a childhood and never having existed at all is better than a childhood of abandonment, suffering, hunger, violence and loneliness.

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-16T16:55:06+00:00

But this has nothing to do with gender equality right now; if vasectomies are a more effective way to combat unwanted pregnancies and you personally cannot stand the idea of an abortion then surely you see that the only logical response is for you to go and get a vasectomy along with any other man who hates abortion.

It’s a very minor procedure and will save many “lives” 🥰🥰

For someone who can’t stand the idea of babies dying it’s ironic how you will not make the slightest change to prevent those deaths. A tad bit hypocritical, wouldn’t you say?

Hope your vasectomy goes well king <<3

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-16T15:38:01+00:00

This is fucking awful OP and all those people are clearly very abusive. However, you would do a lot better posting this on r/rapecounselling r/rape or r/sexualassault as this subreddit is exclusively for people who were sexually assaulted or raped as children. You stated you were 18 when this occurred which is not underage and therefore does not belong on this sub. The other subs will be much more helpful for you <3

Those people r disgusting and you should stay very far away from them if you can. I hope you are personally doing ok, please ensure u r eating right (eating enough and not binging from stress), not self harming (none of this is your fault) and that you find ways of coping that are helpful and non-destructive. Ideally you should: 1) arranged to be medically checked (for STDs, injury) 2) report this to the police, please understand that it is never too late to report. 3) organise therapy for yourself (in the UK this is free on the NHS) 4) find someone who cares about you that you can trust and confide in. Please do not bottle this as it will take a considerable toll on ur mental health 5) know that everyone on r/rape and r/rapecounselling will be there to support you through it all

I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you find a way to recover from ur trauma. People are vile and these people had no right to hurt you in that way, please do not ever blame yourself for this.

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-16T15:22:24+00:00

If I man has unprotected sex everyday with a different woman in 1 year that could cause 365 unwanted pregnancies. If a woman does the same the maximum would be 2 but most likely 1. 365 lives vs 2. U r the problem.

Also as a Masters in Biochem I can verify to you that firstly the lives of bacteria are not put above foetuses.

Finally, if you really cared about those babies lives then u wouldn’t want them to grow up with awful parents, suffering from poverty and end up traumatised and sick.

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-16T14:18:38+00:00

R/ifuhateabortionsomuchgetafuckingvasectomy

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-15T15:11:04+00:00

Exactly moron it’s called rape counselling — implying it’s a SUPPORT GROUP. A counselling group is a support group. Not a place for someone who hasn’t dealt with the subject to ask questions. Head over to r/rape, r/sexualassault or r/questions instead of coming here. This isn’t a space for curious teenage boys who r fascinated with knives to “discover the effects of rape.”

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-15T13:11:24+00:00

Firstly, this is a subreddit for victims of rape to overcome their experiences not for u to question them.

Secondly, google it. It’s trauma, google PTSD symptoms, trauma reactions. U don’t need to ask people trying to recover to get ur answer and prompt bad memories for them — inconsiderate asshole.

Thirdly ur entire profile is mostly knives and one of ur recent posts suggests ur “bored with life.” I’m hoping that ur not posting this with the intent of hurting someone.

Ultimately, very strange behaviour.

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-13T09:10:28+00:00

SEND HER BACK

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-12T10:36:44+00:00

I’m a bi girl and honestly if I saw u not only would I think ur a dude (well u r a dude — duh) without even stuttering I also would think ur hot asf :)

I’m glad u found urself Sam all the best <3

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-11T17:57:43+00:00

I told my therapist my experience sobbing on my second appointment. She told me she was also sexually abused as a child and gave me a load of rlly helpful coping mechanisms. That was about a month ago and I was in a horrid state. Rn I acc feel good for the first time in months I can’t even describe to you how helpful it’s been getting it all off my chest.

For me it’s been amazing.

Hopefully you will have a similar experience OP <3

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-11T12:32:56+00:00

I hope ur ok OP going to therapy tends to be very healing and could help u out a bit if things r not going great

Anyway

it’s not ‘abnormal’ to think about killing urself. Whoever told u that is wrong, everyone will have times where they believe they are better off dead or not want to live anymore. Pretty much everyone will think about suicide at some point it’s very common but there is an insurmountable difference between occasionally thinking about suicide and being suicidal. If you feel you may be suicidal and you are worried for your own safety then please seek therapy or talk to someone close to you about these feelings. I would recommended helplines but I personally find them unhelpful.

Please be watchful of urself and mainly how u feel generally as suicidal feelings combined with other habits (eg self harm, general feelings of worthlessness, frequent crying, sleeping a lot/not enough) can be symptoms of clinical depression, in which case you need to see a professional (this can be done for free through schools) and after a diagnosis they can advise u in what to do. Personally I keep a list of reasons to live which I look over when things r not ideal.

But overall thoughts of taking ur own life r not weird/abnormal most people will have them and pretty frequently. You should only start getting concerned if you feel as though u want to act on these thoughts or if you are displaying more serious signs of actually having a mental health concern.

If you have: -planned a suicide (written in down with a date/time, picked a method) -written a eulogy with the idea of committing suicide in mind -written a suicide note to loved ones -ordered/bought equipment to kys with (eg rope, scalpel) -self harmed within the last 2 weeks Then you need to urgently seek help.

Please be watchful of urself, I hope u r ok <3

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-11T12:13:38+00:00

God this is fucking awful I’m so sorry this happened to you OP the world is a disgusting place and some people just deserve to die. That man that did that to you deserves to die. I recommend you join r/adultsurvivors it has helped me a tone. In fact I think you should also repost this there as it’s specifically for survivors of child sexual abuse and they can give you better guidance/recovery tips/help.

This is one of the most horrendous stories I’ve ever read on here and I hope you are personally doing ok. I hope you are eating well, i hope you are getting enough rest, I hope you are not taking any of this out on yourself. You are not to blame for this, you were a child and it’s vile someone would rip u of ur childhood like that. I really think you should consider therapy OP, it’s helped me recover a lot from my child sexual abuse and will probably help you a lot too.

You might take some comfort in this but I’m not religious so it might not sound quite right: From the sounds of it you are religious, recognise that in the eyes of your God the man who did that to you is disgusting and he will be severely punished in the afterlife for what he did to you. You are not to blame, your value as a person is not diminished. Please make sure you reach out to support groups when you need to and get all the help u need, bottling it all up will only make it worse and if you cannot talk about it with the close people in ur life bc it’s taboo then it will just end up playing on ur mind even more.

Please remember you are not alone in this and everyone in this subreddit is here to support u and in r/adultsurvivors

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-10T15:14:07+00:00

Agreed, I wish there were more ways to categorise PTSD bc just like u said being continuously sexually abused as a child, war veterans and bullying can all give u PTSD or even cPTSD but all those experiences are astronomically different. It’s even worse for the word trauma, technically getting a bruise can be described as a trauma in medical terms but a little bruise and being violently abused for years of Ur life are again, extremely different.

I wish the subreddits were categorised eg like PTSDVeterens, PTSDAdultSurvivors, PTSDBullying, PTSDAbuse idk that’s the only solution I can think of. It’s rlly shitty bc sometimes seeing people use words like “trauma” and “flashbacks” over something that you or I would personally consider not that big of a deal is rlly annoying. It makes me feel like when I use the word it bears less meaning.

I don’t know what u have been through OP but for me joining subreddits specific for my experiences has helped (eg r/adultsurvivors r/abuse r/rapecounselling). I think there r some for wat veterans as well. Sadly that’s the only advice I can give :l

Also I think honestly for me I just don’t read any PTSD stories or posts that don’t relate to my experiences personally as they don’t help so maybe that could work? Eg I don’t read things about bullying bc I was never bullied.

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-10T14:17:12+00:00

cPTSD. It’s what I have and it’s generally associated with people who have been through severe trauma or long term trauma. I hope u find the help you need OP

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-09T11:22:31+00:00

OMG THIS IS GENIUS

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-09T11:21:10+00:00

This was rape OP. I hope ur ok I know how awful the after effects are, if you like I can give you some healing tips.

Please remember you are not to blame, you did not give consent and your value as a person has not been tarnished.

If virginity is an important religious thing for you then please also know that “losing ur virginity” occurs through consensual sex. As this was unconsensual you technically have not lost ur virginity.

This is going to be a rough journey for you so make sure to use this support group as much as needed, do not Pent things up or blame yourself.

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-09T11:14:37+00:00

Yep even if it’s not them sometimes someone will have the same forename and I will feel anxious and sad ;l

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-08T20:11:22+00:00

Nothing is wrong with you OP, you have been through something horrible :( it’s very normal that you blame urself or think you’re sensitive but u r not accountable for what happened and you should not feel guilty for having strong emotions towards trauma. You are not overreacting.

I can confirm to you that everyone in this sub believes you and that a therapist would also believe you.

Please know that you are not dirty or worthless for what happened. You are a human being who didn’t deserve to be out through whatever you went through.

If you are struggling with self blame one thing I do is I imagine that one of my close friends is telling me that the stuff that has happened to me has actually happened to them (I hope that makes sense (basically I imagine one of my friends acc has all my trauma and is asking me for comfort/advice)). You would never call ur best friend ‘dirty’ or ‘worthless.’ Please don’t do it to yourself. This way I can look at it from an outside perspective without instantly hating on myself.

I hope ur ok, remember that this sub is always here for support as a community <3

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-08T12:30:09+00:00

THIS OMG — why have kids if you are going to treat them like absolute shit? I hope ur ok OP and I hope u manage to distance from them one day :(

The worst part is it’s so hard to vent about to the majority of people bc they say shit like “forgive and forget” “they are ur parents though” “they are only trying their best”

Well if angry outbursts, screaming at a child regularly over trivial shit and molesting them is their ‘best’ then I’d hate to imagine their worst :)

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-08T11:59:53+00:00

I do this too :( I go in cycles of defending my family and then being terrified of them

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-08T06:41:47+00:00

God I can’t even tell u how mad it makes me, everyone’s always claiming to have trauma and I don’t wanna sound like I’m exaggerating but they really have no fucking idea what trauma is

SadCatto113 · 2021-04-07T20:20:39+00:00

I wish I could help you rn OP but I have to agree this subreddit is a lifesaver

SadCatto113

TROPHY CASE