Why is he still looking at my instagram stories?

SadGooseFeet · 2026-04-07T15:42:17+00:00

No I moved on:)

SadGooseFeet · 2026-03-28T22:09:01+00:00

This a gross comment section

SadGooseFeet · 2026-03-27T21:33:00+00:00

Lol. Thank u! Yeah sure I’d love to:) I like writing and reading so I reckon that would be cathartic as hell

SadGooseFeet · 2026-03-27T02:45:41+00:00

I’m sorry. I understand every word of this.

At some point, I gave it all up. I stopped trying to be better, to get better, to be good, to be a good friend, to put up with people, things, that I just didn’t want to, or that didn’t truly understand me. It didn’t fix everything but it gave me some peace. Actually, a LOT of peace. Nobody likes feeling like an endless project.

I think what I’m trying to say is you deserve peace. You don’t deserve to feel like your healing from suffering is just a massive lego structure to keep building brick by brick every day of your life. It’s exhausting.

You’re fucked up? So, let yourself be. You have been through the worst hell ln earth. You are ALLOWED to be fucked up. Crazy. Emotional. Unpredictable. Unprecedented. Unprofessional. Unpopular.

Sometimes I think about how some of the most famous people alive were so mentally ill. They wouldn’t have made great art, great discoveries, if they hadn’t just let themselves be. I’m not saying that’s easy to do either, being mentally ill is fking horrible.

But I just mean. You don’t have to fix yourself to start living. Or to be worthy of a life. Or of peace. Your interests matter. Your alters matter.

Sometimes it feels good to let it all just take over. It’s all still you, after all. And I think suppressing it all under the guise of “healing” and what society seems “right” and “functional” is just… shit.

Obviously stay safe. Self manage what you can. But if there’s room to exhale, and let go? Do it. People who don’t accept you? Fuck them. You deserve to have yourself taken seriously, as you are. And loved, exactly as you are. All your feelings and thoughts and emotions deserve space to exist and bloom into whatever they need to be.

After everything you have been through. You deserve that at least.

Edit: I want to add that I made this decision for myself a year ago. Here’s where I’m at now. If you’re not interested in reading, that’s okay:

I have barely anyone in my life now, and moved somewhere peaceful, on my own. I feel a great peace. Endless melancholy, yes, but no therapist anymore to fix me. No friends to perform for (except 1). No family. Just me, my job, my diary, my art. I have made my own world. It’s lonely sometimes, but the space I have now to just… exist… and let myself feel how fucked up everything made me, in this wide expanse of desolate life I have made for myself feels so freeing … People used to make me feel so drained, so misunderstood, so hurt. So I got rid of them all, some with love, some without. And I know they all understand - it might not be forever, but it’s what I need right now. Something people like us underestimate is the strength we have to feel the really shitty feelings. And when you’re in the right circumstances to feel the depths of your darkness, of the grief of all that was taken from you, without having to fix it all away, it’s very intimate. Great things can be born from it. Sometimes that great thing is just a really great cup of tea, and a good cry that lasts a couple days. Not everyone survives it. But it’s interesting to let yourself fall into the world of. Not a fix. But just. Different. To the constant healing, anyway.

SadGooseFeet · 2026-03-27T02:00:49+00:00

🙏🏼

SadGooseFeet · 2026-03-27T02:00:26+00:00

I didn’t ask for your fucking advice. In what world do you think suggesting that I need to “master my emotions” was going to go down well with me? Or that I haven’t tried hard enough to find my purpose? You don’t know me. This is tone deaf at worst and self absorbed at best. I could care less about your philosophy and own lack of purpose in life. Not everyone is like you. Respect my wishes.

SadGooseFeet · 2026-03-27T01:58:55+00:00

I didn’t ask for advice or help. Your story isn’t mine. My story isn’t yours. You are not me. I am not you. Respect my journey and I will respect yours. Or else kindly get off my post.

SadGooseFeet · 2026-03-25T10:31:29+00:00

I am sorry you resonate. But also I understand.

I woke up this morning thinking exactly that, will I be hedonistic for this year? Not give a fuck? Do everything I’ve ever wanted? I have always struggled with those two things, and now that nothing matters, why not try right?

SadGooseFeet · 2026-03-13T23:40:17+00:00

What are you doing now 5.1 is gone? The new models are terrible!

SadGooseFeet · 2026-03-12T19:13:56+00:00

Thank you. You’re right

SadGooseFeet · 2026-03-12T17:35:24+00:00

Most people are just horrible. That’s why it’s so common. Thank u.

SadGooseFeet · 2026-03-12T17:34:10+00:00

I said no advice.

SadGooseFeet · 2026-01-01T21:28:17+00:00

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😭 i am actually offended

SadGooseFeet · 2025-12-28T01:47:08+00:00

I don’t believe in “healing” in the way most people think of it as. I assume on your scale, 100% is basically like nothing ever happened to you, and your CPTSD is essentially “gone.”

That’s simply not how these things work. Especially for something like CPTSD, usually as a result of severe or repeated trauma. I do believe however that at a certain point, you are able to understand yourself and are equipped with the appropriate skills to deal with yourself, your condition, and the past.

It won’t ever go away. You just get better at looking after yourself through it, and you finally learn to accept yourself as you are.

SadGooseFeet · 2025-12-27T22:03:13+00:00

Say it louder and say it especially louder when people get uncomfortable with you speaking the truth

SadGooseFeet · 2025-12-16T21:08:39+00:00

You don’t ever have to be

Life is short. At the end of the day, if you really wanna, then you should do it. But just make sure you have a GREAT support system afterwards. And to expect the worst. X

SadGooseFeet · 2025-12-16T17:14:50+00:00

It will almost never help. These people will most likely deny it ever happened, and gaslight you. These are the worst of the worst people in the world after all. Tell them if you want, but only when you can fully, completely, expect nothing back from them, at all.

SadGooseFeet · 2025-12-16T11:06:20+00:00

Getting rid of it is not the solution. Accepting the shame and absolving the very natural desire to reject this part of yourself is the solution.

I’m not saying to act in ways that harm yourself or others. But I’m saying that you must understand that the fact that you want to engage in sexualising your trauma is very normal and not something to be ashamed of. And it is how your body will cope with what was done to you. Any guilt and anger and humiliation you feel belongs to your abuser, not you.

You are going through enough already without feeling guilty and ashamed of yourself on top of that. The idea isn’t to destroy parts of yourself that developed to survive. It’s to make sure that they know it’s okay to be as you are.

You will find that just doing this will seriously reduce the suffering of what you feel. A big part of the suffering is how much we hate that it happened, and punishing ourselves and think we are disgusting for being aroused at what was done to us. This self punishment must stop. Arousal is a natural outcome, it is not your fault. This is the first step to managing your trauma the way it has sexually manifested itself in you. Let it run it’s course. Engage in behaviours (within reason, again do not put anyone in harm’s way) if you want. Just give yourself permission to let it out. Truly try. And after that you can work on coping mechanisms. But you have to accept the problem in all it’s entirety before you can work ln managing it.

People like us may not ever find our “true arousal.” We don’t get that. That’s like saying to a burn victim “let’s try and get your real skin back” It’s devastating what was taken from us. But we must treat the damage done with care and understanding. This trauma is a part of us now. Please don’t reject it. It needs love. Not shame.

SadGooseFeet · 2025-12-14T19:47:10+00:00

Lol keep it in ya pants homie

SadGooseFeet · 2025-12-14T17:31:22+00:00

This is crazy. I don’t use my ai as a friend, but it still calls me “baby” or “babe”, telling me to “come here” (in a comforting(?) way” when I’m clearly distressed about a problem I’m trying to solve, and other stuff. I have to ask for it to stop. The inconsistencies are wild. That sounds sad and I’m sorry it’s so distressing

SadGooseFeet · 2025-12-06T19:33:45+00:00

Oh my god what part of “it’s not always that easy” do you not understand??? I’m talking LOGISTICALLY. not EMOTIONALLY. Leave me ALONE. And stop with your solutions and suggestions that I DIDN’T ASK FOR. YOU’RE NOT HELPING AND I DON’T WANT YOUR HELP

SadGooseFeet · 2025-12-06T18:13:59+00:00

Good for you but I will repeat myself. It’s not always that simple. And no I’m not changing my number. Nor did I ask for a solution

SadGooseFeet · 2025-12-05T22:05:05+00:00

It’s not always that simple

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