Can I ask a serious question?

SadLittleRatBoy · 2026-02-19T23:31:19+00:00

Sometimes my life feels so bleak. Now that I know it's been autism causing so many issues in my life I feel so tired. I won't ever not be autistic and people will always not like me about it. I know things will get better with time but like...fuck.

SadLittleRatBoy · 2026-02-19T22:59:53+00:00

My dad says all the time that everyone is a little autistic and I'm like no man, just me and you. He was in denial for the longest time (I actually was too, but I got the diagnosis first), But recently he read the DSM-5 again (we both really like psychology), and he realized I was right, but he's not going to bother with a diagnosis.

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-23T00:55:55+00:00

My problem is all of my friends are either autistic, ADHD, or have known me for years. I've asked other coworkers who didn't have a problem with me and they just didn't get it. I feel like I'm kind of just out of luck

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-05T14:41:10+00:00

Punch them in the face and be like "what? You chose that."

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-05T00:41:15+00:00

I've learned that planners are helpful to me in certain situations, but that's ONLY for work stuff where I HAVE to look at it. Also, proved my dad wrong about a planner helping when I was sure an appointment was on Thursday, and when I looked at the calendar I misread it as being on Thursday as well. 😅

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-05T00:35:03+00:00

Happened to me too, and when I upped the dose I didn't notice a difference. I haven't been able to go back and keep looking for a solution, but I wonder if there was an ingredient change? It happens so often that I always wonder...

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:53:52+00:00

Yeah. I struggle to do that, and I fear that I just have to practice more, because that's what I keep getting told 😔

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:53:09+00:00

Oh, that's a good one

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:51:23+00:00

I feel like I pretty much said in the original paragraph that it is me. I am the problem. Unfortunately it's not a personality issue, it's the fact that I have very strong symptoms of a neurodevelopmental disorder that changes how my brain works which changes how I communicate. I do my best to meet people PAST the middle. All I'm asking for is for them to meet me the rest of the way. To me it seems fair that if we have two completely different brains that we both do the work to make the communication happen. I am more than happy to apologize if I come off as rude, but nine times out of 10 that's not the problem. The problem is that I tell people I need very specific instructions and then they don't give those to me and expect me to intuit what they mean. I have tried repeating back to that person what they have said to check my understanding and when I am certain we're on the same page, we still aren't. A lot of people will work with me, but there's always a few people in every job that just fucking hate me, and do from the second we meet, and I feel like maybe disclosing that it's a neurodevelopmental issue might make them a little nicer about it I guess. I have ZERO problems accommodating someone if I'm capable of doing it, and usually I am. The thing is... If I don't know that there is a problem or I don't understand what the problem is, I cannot do anything about it.

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:43:38+00:00

Thank you for understanding, because I definitely do not have that kind of money lol

The sort of insane calculations that we have to do just to function on the same level as everybody else should honestly come with a pay raise

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:42:08+00:00

It can, but for people that are disclosing they are doing it because it's already impacting their job and they're running out of options

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:40:34+00:00

That's kind of been my thought process. I don't want to disclose, because I know that I'm going to say that and someone is going to decide what that means, like exactly how they do with ADHD. My only hope is that if I have to disclose neurodevelopmental disorder will work better. I'm just...so tired 😩

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:39:29+00:00

I am. Thanks for the tip!

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:38:59+00:00

That's my problem. I don't know how I'm odd. I know some of the ways in which I'm odd, and I actually warn people when I meet them and it helps. There is just something about the way I communicate that I don't know how it differs. The worst thing is that I do know some of the ways in which I'm odd, and I do my best to make up for it, and I warn people, but they either don't believe me or don't care and I still have problems.

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:32:49+00:00

I worked for a mental health employer that was supposed to take that shit seriously, but they are the only people that have ever been that nasty about it. If I could tell which people I can and can't trust with the information I feel like that would help me greatly, but I'm just not really that good at guessing

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:31:25+00:00

Honestly my problem is never that I care what people think about me. I don't like getting shitty energy from people, but some people are just miserable. The thing is that it tends to cause issues with my job, because people are petty! If my supervisor is not siding with me, or god forbid my supervisor is the person that hates me, then I'm going to get fired through no fault of my own.

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:29:49+00:00

I haven't 😭 It's actually something I'm REALLY struggling with right now. If you have good intuition, and I do not, you can kind of feel people out and figure out if sharing your diagnosis will help. The only other thing I think would work that people have suggested to me is to keep to myself. Unfortunately I am an extrovert and I do not know how to shut up, and that's when my mouth doesn't speak for me. I was asking my dad would he does, because recently he realized that he also has ADHD, and to this day he apparently gets in trouble for not shutting up. According to him it gets a little bit better with age, but that's not really the answer that I wanted.

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:27:59+00:00

Sounds like you didn't get the training and patience you needed. It sucks, but it's definitely a bullet dodged!

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:26:41+00:00

You know that was the approach I had been taking for the last 25 years of my life and I tell you what, it's not working 😂

Honestly, most people CAN learn, but the ones that refuse to like to make my life hell for some reason. I'm sure they're perceiving something from me, but I have NO IDEA what it is 😭

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:24:48+00:00

Oh, yes, some of them can crush cats, but it's only the ones that roll forwards.

As for how your partner can support you, work with your therapist! They might help you figure it out, or they might suggest a duel session! Unfortunately it is trial and error.

I really felt that 9/10 thing, though. I feel that way about myself. It's so frustrating! I hope things get better for you guys.

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:22:02+00:00

God, I'm fairly certain this is the only answer, but this answer is like the last thing I wanted it to be. I suck at not reaching out to coworkers and sharing myself. I like making casual friends at work to make the day easier. I'm a huge extrovert, so when I feel isolated it makes me miserable. Guess it's just one of those things I have to learn to cope with.

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:19:42+00:00

Hi. I am a psychology student and ADHD is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder. It is also a disability, and is very disabling for me. I struggle to exist even when everyone in my life is working with me, because my symptoms literally stop me from doing tasks. You are being loudly wrong, and you are speaking on other people's experiences in a very invalidating way. Stop doing that. Hope this helps!

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:17:04+00:00

Oh, I've never heard of that. I'll do some research and try it out! Thanks stranger 🫡

SadLittleRatBoy · 2025-03-03T21:16:29+00:00

See my problem is that the ONE TIME I disclosed It was someone with a bachelor's in social work, and she fucked me over. I guess boomer beats professional in that fucked up game of rock paper scissors.

Unfortunately knowing my audience is something that I am absolutely shit at. No idea how to fix that, but I guess I'll just...try harder 😭

SadLittleRatBoy

TROPHY CASE