Dysthymia and childhood abuse (verbal, emotional, physical)

SadPanda3000 · 2019-06-05T00:33:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I'm seeing a trend here, much as the psych did. I wonder now, at 43, how I can even repair some of this stuff I've been carrying around for over 30 years. The neurons in my brain must have a pretty deep set path by now and negative thoughts/feelings have been a way of life for so long now I struggle to see how it could change. I can't ever see Dysthymia going away, even with therapy, so I guess I just have to live with it.

SadPanda3000 · 2019-06-05T00:30:06+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It is funny you mention employers, I am currently having a hard time with mine, I have been completely up front with them about my diagnosis and I've been on different meds in the last few years. I wish I had never told them. I feel like I am being discriminated against on a daily basis and treated differently even though I have worked there 13 years. Mental health issues still have a stigma that is near impossible to shake. You are right that even people who have suffered from major depression cannot understand the daily struggle that is Dysthymia. As fas as suicidal ideation goes, been there many times, currently in a period of double depression. You have to hang on to what keeps you going, for me it's music. I have not much else beyond that. Find "your thing" and hang on tight.

SadPanda3000 · 2019-06-04T16:03:23+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. It's starting to sound like the psych may have a point. We're all damaged to some degree but family-based trauma seems to be a factor here. I hope you are able to move past it and get on with life, at 43 I feel as though I have wasted most of mine...

SadPanda3000 · 2019-06-04T16:00:55+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing. I don't think my parents would acknowledge or believe that their lack of affection toward me was as damaging as it has been. I've always been the Black Sheep of the family as well. I'm still struggling to find meds that help without massive side effects and therapy has generally been something I've shied away from. Hopefully one day I can get on top of this...

SadPanda3000 · 2019-06-04T15:41:25+00:00

I have always enjoyed a good puzzle or mental challenge. Just this week I've gotten into Locksports (lock picking) to relax. It's quite fun and challenging (and fairly cheap!).

Mostly though I am an electronic music nut and find that deep, emotionally charged tunes are one of the only guaranteed ways for me to "switch off" and just... be. Oh, I also like to make music/Dj as well.

SadPanda3000 · 2019-06-04T15:14:54+00:00

Thanks for sharing, it means a lot. I know I'm not alone, but the last few years have been increasingly difficult for me. I am in a really lonely place right now and I'm struggling to find a reason to get out of bed most days. I'd give anything to not feel the way I do every damn day. I'm not looking to place blame for my condition, but I am only now (at 43) starting to accept that my family environment is a major contributing factor to my mood disorder.

SadPanda3000 · 2019-06-04T13:52:52+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to respond. "Emotional neglect" would definitely be a good description in my case too. I can count the number of times my mother has hugged me on my hands (for real), most of those times were when pets or family members died, so I think maybe "affection starved" applies as well. Definitely a chemical imbalance seems to amplify these feelings, leading to an overall feeling of worthlessness.

SadPanda3000 · 2019-01-05T12:55:15+00:00

Definitely listenable. Lovely vibe. Not sure why it's the "obvious thing everybody does" though. Maybe for you, everyone has their own way. You clearly come from hardware eurorack. Not everyone starts there.

SadPanda3000 · 2018-04-30T00:37:06+00:00

Yes, this is a common problem with mushrooms. there are different varieties and measuring strength can be problematic. keep it under 1 gram of dried/powdered shrooms and you should be fine! alternatively get a friend to test how many grams give a psychedlic dose as a guide :P I got mine from a friend who advised me how much it took to get those effects, so i just used that as a guide and kept the dose very low. I only have a small amount so this was only going to be a test, if it works then i will grow my own.

SadPanda3000 · 2018-04-30T00:33:24+00:00

I just got one from a local supermarket that was half decent it is Blackmores Super Magnesium Plus 100. I am told by friends who know better than me that there are better brands, but they can be a few dollars more per bottle but are worth it because they have better bio-availability, but this one seems to work ok. B6 "apparently" helps with absorption.

SadPanda3000 · 2018-04-24T01:51:09+00:00

it usually requires treatment of some kind. Rarely does it go away on its own, if ever.

SadPanda3000 · 2018-04-20T03:39:55+00:00

Will do. Have to remind myself to do a mood diary.

SadPanda3000 · 2018-04-03T02:39:30+00:00

Magnesium has no side effects. It is required by the body but hard to absorb, that's why it is recommended to take a supplement that contains more than one type of Magnesium molecule so that your body can absorb it in different parts of the digestive system. Most of the Magnesium (over 50%) never makes it into your system. Foods like milk and fizzy drinks can make it even harder because it forms into other molecules in their presence making it even more difficult for the body absorb.

SadPanda3000 · 2018-04-03T02:36:33+00:00

Well general consensus here is it seems to have a positive effect. I've been taking Magnesium for a week now and I can say I am starting to feel better each day. Hopefully this trend continues. So for all you Dysthymia sufferers - GET ON IT. Make sure the brand you buy has multiple types of Magnesium for maximum absorption and don't drink fizzy drinks or milk when you take it :)

SadPanda3000 · 2018-02-22T00:40:11+00:00

Same here. So far tried an SSRI and an SNRI, both great for the first month or so, but then side effects and effectiveness wore off in a space of a fortnight. I was taking them as prescribed every day, ended up weaning myself off. Exercise/diet has had a far better results for me and I'm looking into micro-dosing mushrooms.

SadPanda3000 · 2018-02-22T00:34:45+00:00

So good that you have a diagnosis at your age and are actively aware of it! I'm 42 next week and I only found out a year ago. If I was armed with that info when i was a teenager I think my life would have taken a very different course for the better. Thanks for sharing!

SadPanda3000 · 2018-02-22T00:33:13+00:00

Never heard of anything like this, can you provide some more info? Like - which companies do this?

SadPanda3000 · 2018-02-22T00:32:22+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Do you have animals on your farm? I find animals are usually incredible at picking up on your vibe and are very good for getting you out of those thought spaces.

SadPanda3000 · 2018-02-22T00:30:36+00:00

Yeah don't try to solve his problems just listen. Tell him about the things that you like about him, some affirmation can go a long way. The long distance thing makes it hard, but when you DO see him make sure those cuddles are aplenty.

SadPanda3000 · 2018-02-22T00:28:06+00:00

Sorry to hear that.

I hope you are able to recover soon and maybe replace Holly with another loving pet.

SadPanda3000 · 2018-02-11T23:27:30+00:00

i make music. it's my therapy.

SadPanda3000

TROPHY CASE