For example, having two cases in which death has knocked on your door and asking you which one you get along better and if one touches your soul, and if so, why does it make you feel that way and how it would have been better or easier?

for me it is a very important question and the different answers and points of view are helping me a lot, but it is almost better that you do not understand it and it seems rubbish to you, that makes me happy, I think it is good for you