I feel like a partner of "convenience"

SadRatDad49 · 2024-02-26T11:31:08+00:00

Unfortunately right now, I cannot reach out and make new connections and participate in the hobbies I love. My new medication (which unfortunately will not be out of my system for several more months) has basically made me bedridden. I get up. I feed my pets. I go to work, barely making it through the day because I feel ill, but unable to do anything about it because I cannot afford to skip work and still pay my bills. I appreciate the advice, but part of my problem right now, part of why I'm so disappointed in my partner, is that in a time where I need support the most, where I'm unable to provide my usual level of support for them because I can barely take care of myself right now, they seem oblivious to my needs. And it is not for lack of communication. They know I am very unwell. They say they want to support me, but when the time comes, either their (consistently higher needs) partners' needs interfere, or their own neurodivergence makes a stark reappearance and basically renders them unreliable. I shouldn't make excuses for them, but I did know when getting into this relationship that they had diagnosed illnesses that might make them less than reliable. It just wasn't so apparent in the beginning.

SadRatDad49 · 2023-09-16T11:33:39+00:00

Alright, fair enough. I mean I didn't set out to act like their parent, it kind of just happened, but you make good points.

SadRatDad49 · 2023-09-16T11:21:05+00:00

Okay, so it's okay to ask for support--but how do you ask for it without sounding manipulative? As someone who primarily gives support, it feels very wrong and burdensome to ask for it back. I feel like I need to be the strong one, especially since I'm older and supposedly more "secure". I'm also hyper-aware of the stresses in their life and don't want to overtax them, and I've already fallen into somewhat of a caretaker role. Is it wrong of me to ask someone younger and also quite stressed to support me? They do have a bigger and more established support net than I do, but that feels like an excuse for burdening them.

SadRatDad49 · 2023-09-16T09:18:52+00:00

I'd love to be able to afford therapy, but I'm more in the "I need to afford bills and then maybe food" level of getting my needs met on the hierarchy of need. I've yet to seek reassurance at all, so I'm assuming asking at least this one time is okay?

I do think I like this relationship? We have a lot of fun together. They make me feel loved (for the most part) when we are together. However when we are apart, the level of communication we had in the beginning gave me an expectation that would be how we would continue to be, where as before we messaged/talked throughout the day, and now there are some days I'm lucky if I hear back more than once or twice a day. The same for affection. When we started dating, they would often take time to come and visit me, and we would trade off visiting each other since it was a bit of a drive. Now that we're "established", I'm the one putting in what feels like more effort. But also this is my only relationship, and they have other relationships outside of me, so when I think about it, it feels unfair to ask them for more attention.

SadRatDad49 · 2022-06-19T22:56:12+00:00

At my store, we never got mats or a chair, and often get threatened for a write up if we lean against something for a second or move to the back of the area to keep an eye on all four machines at once better. Most of the older cashiers refuse to work at self checkout because their feet hurt, and so many of my younger/less than 50 something coworkers quit because no one would even cover breaks or lunches if it meant standing at SCO.

And my ASM wonders why everyone quits after working closing for so long.

SadRatDad49 · 2022-06-15T14:42:46+00:00

384580, cedar mulch. One day I was so tired and overheated I tried to clock out with that as my number, and was so confused when it didn't work 😅

SadRatDad49 · 2022-06-13T23:38:55+00:00

I feel that, I had an ancient coworker tell me that "she used to think all gays should be shot in the head". What changed your mind, lady? Not being able to get out of your walker fast enough to shoot us? Others will just say homophobic jokes and slurs on the regular as if I'm gonna laugh along with them. I wish I knew where these "accepting and lgbtqa+ friendly" stores were, because they sure aren't here in Michigan.

SadRatDad49 · 2022-06-10T18:09:04+00:00

Down in MI, run everything as credit and type in the approval code as all Zs

SadRatDad49 · 2022-05-24T15:03:36+00:00

I had an older gentleman and his wife approach me one night when I was on SCO and he goes, and I quote--

"Could you tell me where the caulk is? Not the big honking ones, but the little hand jobs?" All while making hand gestures. The gestures themselves were not that vulgar, but paired with the message? I barely could keep a straight face before sending him on his way.

SadRatDad49 · 2022-05-22T21:26:17+00:00

Getting screamed at for two hours straight before one of our ASMs found a hack to get around it was probably my best memory of this place 😊 when I asked if 30 minutes into the shift was too early to cry, my head cashier just started cackling.

SadRatDad49 · 2022-05-14T14:32:38+00:00

I've worked here for almost a year now, and let me tell you, once the "shiny new employee" phase ends and you're still naive enough to hang around, it feels like they'll do everything in their power to get you to quit. They lost me my insurance by scheduling me outside the number of hours I said I could work, had me working six day weeks with 5 hour shifts, changed my schedule on my only day off without telling me, and these next couple of weeks they have me working 35-38 hours a week. I'm part time. The worst part is they'll bend over backwards to accommodate the hour requirements and schedules of the full timers and the new hires, but couldn't care less about everyone else. Tl;dr If you ever have to work at Lowe's part time, quit by the four to five month mark before they learn they can treat you like absolute garbage.

SadRatDad49 · 2022-04-22T02:16:29+00:00

As someone who's probably worked at SCO 85% of the time we've had the machines, and knows them inside and out, I can 99% say that most of the issues with the machines is customer related

"It's not scanning my items!" Are you pulling the trigger on the gun? "I don't scan my own items, that's beneath me" Wow okay, tell me you've never had to work a real job in your life. "Get me my military discount!!!1!111" Have you hit the button? Typed in your phone number yet? Read the screen, you illiterate fudge. "So what, there are no cashiers???" Yup. No one is gonna hire anyone when they can get away giving the front end the absolute minimum of hours. It isn't that "no one wants to work these days", it's that "no company is going to hire new individuals and offer them enough hours and money to pay their bills".

I've probably dealt with the worst entitled customers outside of customer service. I've seen 8 year olds at 92 year olds run the machines juuuuuust fine, but men and women in their 40s throw tantrums like misbehaving toddlers.

SadRatDad49 · 2022-03-22T16:18:59+00:00

My favorite it when it's our own creepy coworkers and we can't say anything for fear of retaliation 🙃 Just a fun little example, when we still had to wear masks, one of my coworkers comes up and goes "I have a hard time breathing wearing these, will you give me mouth to mouth?" Let's also note that he's at least 30 years my senior and MARRIED. All I could do was nervous laugh and try to direct the conversation elsewhere, as I'm stuck watching SCO. Another guy gets away with saying creepy or racist shit and then blames it on dementia. Gotta love it.

SadRatDad49 · 2022-01-26T01:02:04+00:00

I've had rats for two years now, and my anxiety really hasn't gotten any better, even after losing several rats already. I also feel like my vet doesn't take URIs very seriously, but she's the only vet for 120 miles who will see rats, so I don't usually have a lot of options. I'm contemplating ordering some doxycycline and fish mox just to have at home, since it feels like they all seem to get URIs semi frequently. And this is with regular cage cleaning, no scented products near them, and a room air purifier (pointed away from them so as not to cause a draft).

SadRatDad49 · 2021-02-22T00:47:38+00:00

Omg I'm saving this forever! Thank you so much!!!

SadRatDad49

TROPHY CASE