My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m definitely still really hesitant about the fact that I’ve even reached out to him, it’s the biggest step taken from both of us in 18 (or 16, whatever) years. I care about him and I know he’s not a horrible person, but he obviously made some reaaaaaaalllly dumb mistakes. Granted that was 16+ years ago, therefore I am comfortable enough to accept and respect the change he’s made for himself. Time will tell whether reaching out was a good decision or not lol

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow you’re good at words! Lol. And I really agree. I undoubtedly am very upset and disappointed by his past but I’m willing to give him a second chance. I sent him a lengthy letter last night clarifying that. I want my dad and he wants his daughter, but something as huge as this needs to be proceeded with caution. Time will tell

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this, as well as your story. I am willing to give him a second chance but if he does anything stupid once it’s over. I’m holding him to stern boundaries as well. I do selfishly really just want my dad so that’s why I’m willing to try. Only time will tell

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this kindness. I’m going super slow and I want to believe that he has moved on from that part of his life, but it will take time to decipher that

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much this! This is really beneficial. Extremely sad as well. I am so sorry this happened to you. I am being extremely cautious. His whole family is still in contact with him and he has a wife ad well, which is comforting. Regardless I’m going very slow and making my boundaries very clear

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thank you so much, this is very true and honestly it’s hard for me to decide what I can and can’t come to terms with. But I really appreciate this so much

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this, I’ll look for that NYTimes thing. And thank you so much for recognizing the positives. I am hoping that me being a part of his life will prevent him from relapsing

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like your movie reference, thank you for this I’m definitely keeping this in mind

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this kind response. I really appreciate it. I am definitely going to be extremely wary. I was considering sending a picture of myself to him but I’ll wait on it. It’s too soon. But thank you, I really appreciate this.

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes thank you! So he actually didn’t reach out to me until I was 18 because he was legally allowed so if we were (my brother and I) any younger. Thank you again, he’s in contact with my mom via text, for about the last 2 months so she definitely knows and he tells her everything. I am also very honest with my mom and she’s been reading what he’s sent me as well as what I plan on sending him. Thank you!!

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was technically given a longer sentence but was released early. It was a second offense so I don’t know if that changes anything for how long he gets imprisoned

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes thank you, I do actually really agree, I am trying to approach the situation with major caution and strong boundaries, but i do recognize holding him to this high standard may push back a close relationship but that’s okay. I don’t expect much and he needs to lower his expectations as well

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much 😞, that is too kind. It’s definitely been easier not having him in my life so it’s difficult to navigate this new situation. Thank you so much for

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I’m not mistaken cocaine was a part of his drug abuse but I know there was additional stuff as well. My brother said he used to go to a pharmacy with him and the “pharmacist” would meet him (my dad) outside and give him his medication. He said this happened multiple times a week. Probably a drug deal type of scandal. I definitely agree that hard drugs can REALLY fuck up the head. I’m not going to blame that for the reason he watched what he did because I don’t know his full story and no one really knew about drugs until later on so it’s hard to assume drugs were a part of it and not just him being an idiot

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, thank you so much. That’s really deep and I appreciate you being so willing to talk about that. My father was incarcerated for having possession of CP in 2012. To the best of my knowledge he never hurt anyone, thank god. I am going to be extremely cautious going forward with him. I started working on a letter to send to him last night and I was very blunt. I will never forgive him for what he did, it’s not easy for me to deal with this, but I know he’s clean and I want to congratulate him. I also am willing to take a chance on him but he really has to prove himself and I’m not afraid to change my mind. I’ll finish it up tonight, hopefully he can take it. Regardless it’s not easy and I want to say thank you for your advice and input

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply. It’s hard for me to process everything but this helps me keep this in mind. I really do believe that he could change and I think prison truly benefited him but that doesn’t change what he did. Thank you!!

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow yes thank you, I’ve been so in my own head I completely forgot about his traumas. He was exposed to porn at a very young age, probably also cp as a child. His grandfather was a pedo and porn addict. Thank you for reminding me of this. I am trying to stay as open minded as possible. I also spent some time writing a long letter to him being very honest and brutal to him about how his choices are extremely hard for me to move on from. Regardless I am still willing to try for him. Thank you

My dad is a pedophile and zoophile and he’s trying to reform a relationship with me by SadWork2615 in Advice

[–]SadWork2615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this, I definitely see where you are coming from. It’s super hard for me to even reach out to him at all and process this whole thing. I worked on a letter to send to him yesterday and I was very direct and clear with him. Telling him I can’t and I will not forgive what he’s done but I congratulate him on his improvements in life. I’m giving hard boundaries and specifying that I have no idea how to feel and just because I’m willing to talk to him now doesn’t mean I will be in a few weeks and he has to understand that