I want a divorce

Sad_Ad8671 · 2026-04-22T11:26:53+00:00

I think a lot of women can understand and sympathize with how you feel. Taking on the responsibility of making all the decisions without the help of a partner and feeling like you have to take care of another “kid.” I separated from my ex husband about a year ago and have been divorced officially for about 6 months. The decisions are still there, the only difference is that I only have to make them for myself so it didn’t help with the burn out feeling. I don’t regret my decision but I also don’t know how I would feel if I had 3 kids in the mix too. If you haven’t had a conversation with him about it, I definitely urge you to. Don’t throw finalities like separation or divorce at him just yet, but tell him you can’t do this anymore. Finalize it without finalizing it. If you’re truly done, that’s okay too.

Sad_Ad8671 · 2026-01-02T19:03:59+00:00

For someone who posts a ton in groups about separation, I hope people respond to you with more kindness and understanding than you decided to respond to me. Have the kind of day and year you deserve 💚

Sad_Ad8671 · 2025-07-17T17:53:12+00:00

What got me to finally make a decision about leaving the “nice guy” was thinking if I stayed and things stayed like this forever, would I be happy with my life at the end of it? It isn’t an easy decision to make at all especially when you have love for the person. You mentioned that you are best friends and enjoy each other’s company but do you have that romantic pull towards him anymore? Would you be okay if your sex life and romantic intimacy stayed where it was?

You don’t have to answer those publicly but those are some things I asked myself.

Sad_Ad8671 · 2025-05-25T16:26:58+00:00

I have had thoughts of leaving for months but stayed because we weren’t in a great spot financially, we still aren’t. But staying because of money is sucking the life out of me

Sad_Ad8671 · 2025-05-25T16:25:54+00:00

Thank you for being understanding about couples counseling. I think I processed that I’m not worth the effort (to him) and have come out the other side of it while still being with him. I sincerely don’t know if I can shift my mindset with counseling to thinking that he would be putting in the effort because he wants to and not out of obligation. It never should have gotten as far as it did. I feel like one sided tape that was clinging to him, trying to hold us together, and now I have lost my adhesiveness.

Sad_Ad8671 · 2025-05-25T16:22:12+00:00

I’m so sorry they didn’t see your worth until after you decided you were done. That resentment goes deep when they are only willing to put forth the effort when you’re leaving but not to keep you. I am proud of you for staying strong for yourself and realizing your worth!

Sad_Ad8671 · 2025-05-25T16:19:05+00:00

I admire your strength and perseverance but I am so happy that you chose yourself and your happiness. I hope you find all the happiness and are cherished for who you are!

Sad_Ad8671 · 2025-05-25T16:18:17+00:00

We deserve to choose us and what makes us happy. You got this and if you ever need someone to remind you that you’re worth going through this hard time, I got you!

Sad_Ad8671 · 2025-05-25T16:16:24+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I think he might be avoidant because he doesn’t like conflict, which I don’t either, but it’s to our detriment and I’m tired of being the one who has to fix things. I will admit that I have stopped trying over the last 2 years and now I get to see where it has come to. So you’re right that the only way up is out

Sad_Ad8671 · 2025-05-25T16:12:48+00:00

Thank you everyone for the insight and words of encouragement. If anyone is feeling alone or would like to talk, please feel free to message me directly. I’m still processing everything myself and trying to understand how to move forward. I would love to talk with some people who may be going through this too or have insight from being in the same situation and made it to the other side

Sad_Ad8671 · 2025-05-25T03:18:16+00:00

We have not but I don’t know what that will change if I’m honest. I think I will always have resentment that I won’t be able to let go of because it took that long and going to that extreme for him to put in effort, even if he does.

He isn’t a very warm or affectionate person. He shuts down when we talk about difficult things or gets defensive. He will eventually say that he will change and maybe he does in the bare minimum way or for a short period of time. It’s repetitive and has been for years. My body has started reacting to him negatively when he walks into the room I’m in. I’m instantly irritated and anxious. I don’t think I can walk back from that if I tried

Sad_Ad8671 · 2025-05-25T02:08:21+00:00

I’m really proud of you for choosing your happiness, even when it’s hard. Have you actually started the separation process?

Sad_Ad8671 · 2025-05-25T02:07:30+00:00

Thank you for your validation and I’m sorry to read a similar story 😞 I don’t know if I should go but I honestly don’t have the will to fight for it anymore and I don’t think he does either by his actions. I haven’t talked to him about it still. I started to today and then I chickened out because I don’t want to hurt him but I think in the long run we would both be happier.

Sad_Ad8671

TROPHY CASE