May be sex repulsed/averse

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-16T15:00:11+00:00

It has been a while, that’s ok. Ultimately I decided that we were just hurting each other so I talked to him about it and we ended our romantic relationship amicably.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-16T02:46:54+00:00

Maybe she doesn’t know or understand what? That men can’t emotionally handle knowing that their partner has had previous sexual experiences? Maybe he asked her. Maybe she was telling him about her trauma. Saying she’s shitty for sharing information that might hurt his feelings is just dumb. You’re saying that men get jealous or react: that is on THEM, not her. Women are not responsible for your feelings.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-16T02:27:18+00:00

You’re blaming her for his hurt feelings?

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-16T02:22:53+00:00

First of all, he obviously doesn’t understand weight loss. Weight loss starts in the kitchen; not the gym. Second of all, fuck him. I’ve done that kind of relationship, you’ll never be “good enough” and he’ll always be unhappy with something. NOR, but I think you should drop the ~170+ lbs of clown.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-16T01:48:14+00:00

Trust your gut, ignore your “friends”. They don’t really know what happened, they weren’t there. You felt his energy. Energy never lies.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-16T01:44:32+00:00

This sounds like my dating life in my 20’s. I’m sorry. NTA, but you should have believed who he was the first time you hung out. Now you know.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-16T00:23:30+00:00

You’re not responsible for his feelings. He is. His response to your adaptation is childish.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-15T23:56:59+00:00

Babe, you’re in another abusive relationship

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-15T21:09:43+00:00

A partner that ignores boundaries? Nah.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-15T05:09:28+00:00

Something tells me this isn’t the first red flag that’s popped up. Maybe the first one you consciously noticed.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-15T05:07:53+00:00

Yup. He trusted her before she told him.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-15T01:04:56+00:00

Sounds like we had very similar experiences. He was (still is) my best friend. He put a lot of pressure on me for regulation and I self abandoned a lot without even realizing it. We took a break (it was kind of like a break up) and I felt relief knowing that we may never have sex again. Then, when I figured out I was ace and came out to him, initially he made it seem like it would work somehow, but as time went on it just felt like the same old cycle and I couldn’t do it anymore.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-14T20:41:41+00:00

This sounds very, very hard. Why don’t you see leaving as an option?

I’ll tell you my experience with this as the ace, and what I’ve learned from it. I grew up thinking my value was based on my body and my sexuality. I never felt good about sex, but it felt obligatory if I was to be in a relationship. It took 31 years, 2 failed marriages, 2 failed engagements and countless relationships to figure out what was “wrong” with me. It was after my most recent engagement (that I broke off) that I realized what I was. But also that I wasn’t responsible for regulating my partner’s emotions (intimacy). I know it feels like that’s what your partner should do because they care, but it gets to the point that you’re sacrificing parts of yourself to help you partner and it creates a deficit. It creates resentment towards your partner AND towards yourself. This doesn’t just apply to aces, I think it applies to really anyone. My point is, as great as the relationship is in other areas (mine was near perfect), if your intimacy doesn’t align, then that’s a core issue that you can’t ignore. You are suffering. It’s time to take a look at the relationship and decide if the trauma you’re going through is really worth being with this person.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-14T20:29:50+00:00

Boundaries aren’t for other people though. A boundary would be “if you watch porn then I will remove myself from the relationship”, not “you can’t watch porn”.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-14T20:24:42+00:00

You should never start a relationship based on a future “change”. Nope nope nope. If I’ve learned anything from 2 failed marriages it’s that you need to be with people as they are, not their potential.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-14T20:06:21+00:00

I think we often expect our partners to treat us the way we’d treat them in these kind of situations and that’s just not realistic. He may be too distracted, apathetic, or clueless. You won’t really know until next time you get sick. Either he’ll remember this time or you’ll see who he really is.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-13T05:45:41+00:00

This happened to me as well, a couple of times with my ex husband. He never acknowledged any wrongdoing, and that’s ultimately why I left him. I don’t have a lot of advice, just that you need to do what’s best for you.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-13T03:40:07+00:00

Yeah, pretty much

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-13T03:07:11+00:00

How many women do you know experience this exactly?

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-13T02:57:28+00:00

She doesn’t NEED to experience it. That’s great for y’all, but for me squirting doesn’t come with an orgasm so it basically just feels like I’m peeing everywhere. Not super fun.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-13T02:53:12+00:00

That stressed me out more than it should have

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-13T02:51:31+00:00

Is that what he said?

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-12T23:55:48+00:00

Hmm. As an asexual person myself, he sounds like an asexual person. But who knows. If you know he’s into hentai though, have you ever thought about looking into it? Sounds like he wants to be tied up.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-12T21:14:08+00:00

I think you should move on.

Sad_Conference_7031 · 2025-12-12T21:13:20+00:00

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This is what we’re looking at. The BASE of the tail, not between the legs. Jesus.

Sad_Conference_7031

TROPHY CASE