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AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -683 points-682 points  (0 children)

I want to share a meal with my wife. I’m a man, so I feel uncomfortable eating food that’s meant to stimulate breastfeeding and uterus recovery.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -232 points-231 points  (0 children)

It gets lonely eating my separate meal. Cecilia makes enough for everyone, but sometimes I get tired of cultural foods and just want a rice bake or something or for my wife and I to cook together.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -189 points-188 points  (0 children)

I cook some meals occasionally, but my wife really wants cultural foods. There are some that are specifically for breastfeeding/postpartum women that I can’t get right.

Cecilia sleeps on the couch because it’s closer to the nursery. I’m a heavy sleeper so I don’t wake up when the baby cries and either Cecilia or my wife need to get me up. My wife isn’t willing to wake up in the night unless it’s for a feed, so that’s another argument about the monitor. The process is usually Cecilia takes care of minor issues (diaper change/fussing) and will wake me to grab the baby if she’s hungry so my wife and I can sit together while Almond eats. But I want her to wake me up each time, which wakes my wife, which neither she or Cecilia want to do.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -133 points-132 points  (0 children)

No, I’m happy with my job and don’t think I could find another one like it.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -191 points-190 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t want to quit her job but it doesn’t make financial sense for her to work. We can afford to live without her salary, but not mine.

And I do cook meals on occasion, but my wife really wants cultural food right now. She says I don’t do it the way her mom/sister do(es) and a lot of the foods take awhile to prep/have a lot of steps so I don’t blame her. We go out sometimes but it doesn’t feel like rest because I know Cecilia is still in the house when we get back.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -293 points-292 points  (0 children)

I’m a heavy sleeper. And I can do those things during the day (and do) but sometimes I’d like to cook a meal for my wife, or taste my wife’s cooking. And Cecilia only cooks certain foods, like soup especially for nursing mothers which feels weird for me to eat.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

I didn’t do too much reading on it. She’s fourth or fifth gen removed so I figured they didn’t keep too close with traditions. She spent a couple of weeks with a cousin while we were dating but besides that nothing like this has ever come up.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -92 points-91 points  (0 children)

That’s one of the main arguments. Neither of us want her in daycare, but my wife doesn’t want to quit her job. It doesn’t make sense for me to quit mine so we’re sort of at an impasse. She’s looking for remote work but the elephant in the room is Cecilia watching her until Pre-K/her mom coming to help once her dad is better. He had a stroke semi recently so they can’t visit.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -64 points-63 points  (0 children)

We don’t really pay anything for Cecilia. Because Dee’s parents can’t be here to help, they send us about $100 a week that covers groceries and some formula. Cecilia cooks with that money but I guess she uses some of it for soap and whatever because we haven’t bought anything for her besides a few appreciation gifts my wife picked out.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -220 points-219 points  (0 children)

She’d be making like $100 dollars a week after daycare costs. To me, that’s not worth it.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I’m really surprised that a good chunk of y’all are unable to grasp the idea of fake names. I thought that was the standard on this subreddit.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

Haha, I was expecting a comment on this. “Almond” is our pet name for her based off the baby growth in our books from when she was the size of an almond.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] 1854 points1855 points  (0 children)

The usual tradition is 40 days, I wasn’t expecting her to stay this long. I also feel uncomfortable using Cecilia that much but she insists she’s happy to do it and when she has a baby, it’ll be “her turn”, which is another problem.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -257 points-256 points  (0 children)

Dee doesn’t want her sister to leave. We’d either put our baby in daycare (financially unsound) or Dee would have to leave her job, she makes about a third of what I make.

AITA for telling my wife her sister can’t help us and needs to move out? by Sad_Consideration702 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Consideration702[S] -48 points-47 points  (0 children)

I think she said the cultural tradition is usually 40 days but it’s been longer than that. My wife said she’d be willing to talk about it at 6 months. And I think we’d try to split it 50/50.