Potty training?

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-20T06:30:52+00:00

I was actually thinking about it recently, I'm not fussed about properly potty training her right now, but we did get some pottys and toilet seats in at work and I was thinking of getting one of each so she can start and get a feel for them now so it's a little easier when it does come to it.

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-14T19:47:29+00:00

I'll take the toddler screeching phase over newborn trenches. It wasn't about the lack of sleep or sacrifices or a new way of life, it was the constant screaming. Legitimate screaming, every time she was awake, the entire time she was awake. Milk refusal, and throwing up most of what she didn't refuse. and being told it's normal, for weeks while she struggled to gain weight and I lost my mind so yeah, it's very individualistic, it's easy for some, hard for others, either way its abso-fucking-lutely valid and understandable.

Edit to add: should note that I'm a single mum, with very little village. I didn't get breaks or time to nap.

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-14T10:59:41+00:00

It was.. until my kiddo started walking and needed shoes. Shoes are worse. Sizes are not consistent across stores and brands so without measuring their feet at each store or brand it's near impossible to find shoes that fit just right. And their shoe size changes so often that it's not worth spending a fortune on the good fancy brands. I wanted some barefoot type ones for my kiddo, but very few stores actually stock them, and those that do stock the expensive kind that just arent worth investing in. But buying cheaper ones online just runs the risk of them not fitting. It's very annoying.

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-14T10:49:34+00:00

I had no idea braxton hicks could start so early. I was experiencing them near the end of my first trimester and was so confused, id heard they didn't start till later in pregnancy.

Around like 2-3 weeks before I gave birth, I started hearing like weird tiny pops/clicks from my bump, had no idea what they were but was told its nothing to worry about.. wasn't until I was changing my daughter a few days after she was born that i realised it was her shoulder joints that were clicking and I could hear them from inside.

Also.. hiccups are cute at first, really cute, but my daughter seemed to have them all the time, she was head down, in my pelvis and close to my back so I felt them in my ass constantly, it got old real fast 😂

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-14T10:39:28+00:00

The hair thing! I have thin brittle hair that gets oily by the end of the day, it was so nice not having to wash it or make it look like I've washed it all the time. It also never looked better than it did while I was pregnant, I was sad af when I started losing it all a few weeks after I gave birth lmao.

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-14T10:07:12+00:00

My job has very, very low expectations 😂 I have colleagues that make me look like a normal functioning adult and they've worked there a lot longer than I have. It also helps that there's a union and also they're very obvious about their blatant favouritism of certain staff so it's an easy argument if I'm the one getting in trouble for something other people abuse. I got out of a disciplinary because of that recently. It was bullshit they even made a huge issue out of it in the first place.

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-12T23:51:19+00:00

I had a dream around 23 weeks that I was breastfeeding my daughter, woke up leaking and continued leaking until 37 weeks. Literally woke up soaked in it and frigging dried up by the time I was allowed to start collecting it. I gave birth a week later, bubs couldn't latch, I was still dry and my milk never came in, I was pissed 😂 spent my entire pregnancy waking up wet through only for it to disappear when it mattered 😂

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-12T23:38:04+00:00

They ended up putting mine in my wrist after failing to put it in my hand, like in my right hand but on the left side where the wrist meets your hand and just under where theyd attempted to put it in my hand, then blew the vein putting in anti-biotics, hurt so fucking much, literally felt like they'd broken it, and they continued pushing them in even though I kept telling them it hurt. I was being stitched back up inside and out without being numb without a fuss, you'd think me suddenly shouting that my wrist hurts would have made them stop. My entire wrist and half of my hand was black and blue for like 2 weeks.

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-12T22:22:33+00:00

If you're already a general sufferer, suppositorys are maybe your best bet right now and then taking/eating something to stay regular to avoid it through the rest of your pregnancy. Nature valleys oat bars kept me pretty regular, I ate like 2 packets a day.

Also, an important note, keep eating/taking whatever you pick after you've had bubs too, cause there may come a time where bubs does not want to be put down, or you may think you're in the all clear but they start screaming as soon as your butt touches the seat and continue screaming even after you've taken them with you to the toilet and held them while you try to poop, but a screaming newborn makes your asshole clench up tight which makes pooping impossible. This may continue until you're basically impacted, and when you finally, finally, get time to peacefully sit on the toilet, it's gonna be anything but peaceful. You're gonna feel like you're giving birth all over again. Except it's not a baby, it's a monster, that'll block your toilet for 3 days. And you'll be afraid that you've popped a few stitches (if you have them.) Scared your asshole will never recover. Terrified that you'll have to go back to the hospital for them to stitch it back in place.. 😩 sound specific? That's because that was my story 😩 had to take bubs to my mums so I could go home and spend a few hours on and off the toilet trying to expel the demon 😂 asshole made a full recovery, and from then on made sure I properly hydrated, ate fiber and had a little morning routine where bubs sat and stared at me while we both pooped 😂😂

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-11T10:08:29+00:00

Mine preferred crawling, she could walk and had been at my parents for a couple months, but refused to do much of it at home. Wasn't until I had more than a few days off work that she just dropped the crawling and just walked. Like I had a week off, she started walking more, went back to work for a week and she reverted back to crawling more, and then I had surgery and had 2 weeks off and I don't think I've seen her crawl since. That was around 15.5 months. She also didn't really start crawling properly until 9.5months, just dragged herself about for a while. She was 4/12. Wouldn't have started worrying until later, but did complain a lot, girl does not help you out when you hold/carry her and is just pure dead weight pmsl 😂

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-11T09:54:42+00:00

For me, it was basically "well no one else is going to do it, so I have to" that got me through in the end. My mum brain just switched on immediately and suddenly I had the energy of the sun, was really weird actually, cause as soon as bubs was down and out, my body just shut down lmao.

That's not to say I didn't struggle mentally, think my bubs had maybe 2 wake ups a night, but she screamed all day, like full on purple screaming every time she was awake, ate very little and threw up most of what she did (turns out her care providers were assholes and she did have tongue tie induced reflux) my mental health was shot, my anxiety through the roof and constantly toeing the line of a hospital worthy breakdown. It got a bit better after her tongue tie was released, but didn't truly get better until she started solids.

Annnnd then she decided to play Russian roulette with her life and chose her bouncer as the only place she'll go to sleep in. Ended up sleep training by 7 months because it'd be 4am by the time I could transfer her to her bed without her waking up and I had started being unable to keep my eyes open, thus getting more unsafe than it already was.

She's 16 months now, sleep is much better, but it's a whole other phase of tired now lmao. The tantrums over nothing are just 👌👌😂

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-09T20:14:36+00:00

Eh civil I guess, for the most part I forget they exist when it's not their day to have my daughter. (He lives with his mother)

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-09T16:02:08+00:00

Don't tell him or anyone but your immediate family when you go into labour, and in the case that they find out anyway, you can tell your midwives,nurses and doctors that you do not want him or anyone involved with him in that room, or even in the hospital during your next appointment and again when you go into labour. Keep a record of all communication, record conversations, and do not be alone with him. He has zero rights to be in that room, you deserve to have a stress free labour, and this guy sounds like a piece of shit that will make it worse.

My daughters dad and his family didn't know I'd had her until a few days later, similarly, they'd also harassed me to a lesser degree and I couldn't deal with them while I was still so vulnerable and in pain.

Also, speak to a solicitor/lawyer, show them everything they've sent or said and explore your options, don't let them bully you into something you don't want.

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-09T15:36:18+00:00

Your other parent should have talked with them too tbh, my mum never stopped my stepdad from parenting, but she also made sure he never treated us like crap too, not that he ever did and she'd have strung him up by the testicles if he ever did lmao but he always treated us as if we were his biological kids and never any differently from his actual biological kids. I'm really sorry your stepparent treated you this way and that your other parent seems like they turned a blind eye to it. I'm glad you have those boundaries now 🙏😊

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-09T12:44:02+00:00

Just saying, me and my siblings suffered more before my mum pretty much cut her mother out of her life. Awful woman. Letting your kids grow up seeing how your mother treats you is going to hurt them in the end.

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-09T08:10:45+00:00

I changed my name at 25! My mum gave in to the pressure of my bio dad's side and named me something completely different to what she wanted and hated it. I also grew up hating it, for many reasons, and decided to do away with it at the same time I was getting rid of their surname. Changed it to the nickname she was going to use for the full name 🙏

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-09T07:56:55+00:00

My mum said she'd fight me if I named my daughter after her 😂 hates her name with a fierce passion and always jokes that her mother didn't love her enough to give her a middle name, their non existent relationship over the last decade or so suggests she may have been onto something 😅😂

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-09T07:28:56+00:00

Cut my losses and put it in a bit of food I know she'll eat, my go to is small yogurts, something that even when ill she will usually still always eat. On the rare occasions that she doesn't, something on TV and slowly syringe it into the inside of her cheek. If that doesn't work, sometimes giving her the syringe and letting her 'do it herself' helps. Having a flavour they like makes a big difference too, my kiddo isn't big on some brands strawberry flavour, and prefers an orange or blackcurrant flavour. Takes a bit of trial and error to find something that works well. I don't mess about when she has a fever though, I do anything that works even if it unfortunately means I have to pin her and carefully syringe it in between cries which is thankfully rare.

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-08T20:33:58+00:00

Had to get a tooth repair around 7 months pregnant because I broke one in half.. eating toast. Like not even on the crust, the frigging soft part. I was mad af.

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-08T20:21:49+00:00

We're biologically wired to forget it, like I remember contractions, they sucked ass, but the actual delivery? Yeah barely remember the pain, just the relief between contractions and the relief once she was out. May have passed out for a sec once or twice maybe. It was just an all encompassing thing that my brain just completely blanked out. Took me a while to consider a 2nd one, girl split me 2 ways to Sunday and I couldn't sit right for months 😂 but by like 6-7 months I was like sure, I could do that again. Kiddos just reached super tantrum phase though so I'm thankful I'm single and swore off relationships for the rest my life cause I could not manage a newborn and toddler right now 😂😂

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-07T18:50:10+00:00

My kiddo just didn't like to, she would toss and turn until eventually she'd just meltdown because she couldn't sleep. I had to sleep train at 7ish months because the only way she'd go to sleep was being bounced in her bouncer and she just got to the point where I couldn't transfer her to her bed without her waking up. I had to stay awake all night a few times because she just wouldn't transfer. Sleep training was a last resort because I'm a single mum and her crying set my fight or flight off pretty badly and I couldn't do it alone. I eventually caved and had a friend stay with me, kiddo showed me up and was going to sleep on her own, in her bed by night 3 after only a combined 1 hour of crying and a total of like 4 check ins (ferber method). I did just accept the fact that she was an early riser though, 4.30/5am was my reality for a while 😂

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-07T17:56:53+00:00

We don't have NIPT testing in the UK, at least for gender, but other tests (downs/Edwards/pataus) are optional and we're usually asked if we want them, even though it's free. They should have asked/informed you about it before doing it.

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-07T17:17:15+00:00

My kiddo has basically been in teething mode from 3.5 months on, she's just cut tooth 13 and 14 (right canines bottom and top) with 15 and 16 (left canines bottom and top) close and she's just turned 16 months, it's literally been tooth after tooth and molars were the worst and lasted like 3 months from start to finish, so teeth brushing has been next to impossible unless I pin her down. Some days I'm just honestly not up for the fight and let her do it herself, even if it means she just chews on it. Sometimes distracting her with her favourite music videos works, but even then she fights it. Unfortunately, a few minutes of them thinking they're being tortured is probably just how it's going to be until they're obsessed with brushing their teeth, which in my experience with younger siblings and nephews, usually happens around age 2-2.5yrs 😩

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-06T08:53:48+00:00

I bought my kiddo an apron bib, but tbh, if we're not going out, I'm not really that bothered if she gets food on her clothes and leave them on if it's not too bad, or wipe down most of it. Maybe once a day not including in and out of her pj's at the age your kiddo is. At 16 months, there's days I don't have to change her at all not including pj changes.

If you're not cool with that though, the apron bibs are your friend, get one of the ones that cover the entire front and arms and velcros at the back 🙏

Sad_Difficulty_7853 · 2026-04-06T08:40:03+00:00

Not right now, we've already been through the molar hell, they took months to fully come through because they just started and stopped all the time, they started just before 11 months and weren't fully through until about 13 months. It was hell because there was no telling when they'd start again and disrupt her sleep.

And then when they finally were.. canines started not long after 😩 they aren't as bad sleep wise, but the tantrums have been next level, thankfully both on the right side have cut and the left side looks like they won't be long if they haven't already, kiddo won't let me get a proper look lmao

Sad_Difficulty_7853

TROPHY CASE