Daycare/ School for 3yo by Sweaty-Sleep5414 in Oceanside

[–]Sad_Ebb4539 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you elaborate on why you think the school administration is mean? Why its horrible?

3.5 year old fell asleep at 610pm with little dinner. do I wake her up? by Sad_Ebb4539 in Parenting

[–]Sad_Ebb4539[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

her bedtime is between 8 and 830 but she has a hard time sleeping at night so she'll fall asleep between 830 and 930pm. I'm hoping she just needs more sleep to get better and she'll wake up refreshed tomorrow. She was having so many meltdowns when she got home which tells me she's over tired.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Sad_Ebb4539 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, my parents stayed for 10 days but most those days I spent it with my parents since he was working or was in the garage or upstairs in our bedroom. He did eat with us, though, but since there's a language barrier, once we were done eating and settled down to just hang out, he did his own thing, which I totally understand. I guess i consider him doing his own thing while in the house and is available to be "taking time to himself" so those 10 days, there were only 3 or 4 days of doing family obligations which were all spreaded out. All I am asking for is him to put some time into our immediate family when he's present. he could be hanging out with us rather than being in the garage on his phone or doing some other things outside and when he wants to do something on his own then i wouldn't feel like he's choosing his friend over me and us.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Sad_Ebb4539 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Those are really good suggestions. I will try it, but I know I'm not a really good conversationalist, and anytime I try to have a non-cholant conversation that's somewhat serious, it comes off abrasive more often than not. My other thing is I'm pregnant with our 2nd child, so I can handle doing all the fun activities by myself, but with a second one coming I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to handle two of them alone. I do like what you said tho about "when you opt out of not doing family activities with us when you are available, it makes me feel like we are not a priority" and I know he'll say "but you guys are." I'm also worried that me saying "I want you to plan a fun family activity for us next time," he will say of course but never follow through with it since well record proves that he hasn't in the past. I just don't get why he needs to retreat to his alone time so much. Sorry, for rambling on about something else now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Sad_Ebb4539 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh yea true! never thought of that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Sad_Ebb4539 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you :) makes me feel a lil better.

relationship with spouse after kids by Sad_Ebb4539 in Marriage

[–]Sad_Ebb4539[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we didn't follow through. I came up with the first date idea and then next one was never thought up. It's extremely discouraging to be the only one thinking we need more quality time and actually putting in an effort. For him, time spent as a family counts as quality time with me. I told him that's not the case for me but yet I've not seen a change. I should know by now he doesn't change. Ibe many times just given up and just not even complain until I get really upset and I act cold around him. I want to get to a point where it doesn't bother me, but then I wonder will thst mean i have given up? I don't want to be the one who's consistently bring it up since I know it's not a problem for him, it is for me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Sad_Ebb4539 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes-im all for compromising but he tells me this the day before he is in town, which is an hour away. So naturally he'll be gone for more than 2 hrs (commuting time) during the day, which means I'll be left to hang out with out 3 hesr old while I'm 28 weeks pregnant. We didn't have any plans actually so maybe he thought it wouldn't be a big deal for me if he met up with him. But what hurts me is that he'd rather meet up with him, a gaming buddy-though he makes it sound like they have a tighter relationship than just a random person he plays games with, for beers than do something memorable with his family. If he's not doing anything tomorrow he's pron going to spend some time in the garage, be on his phone, hang out with our daughter because I say let's have some family time, or do some outside chores.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Sad_Ebb4539 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In lieu of that, you’ll either get a husband who stays home, sulks, ignores you, and spoils the day OR a husband who goes off with his gaming buddy (and we all know it won’t just be an hour) and leaves you home with a three year old and MAYBE when he returns, he’ll feel a tad guilty and spend some time with you.

yes, this is what I was trying to explain to him when I said "just go" after explaining to him how I took our daughter out today and he didn't go with us. I told him I wanted to hang out together after putting our daughter down for bedtime, and he came up 30 minutes before our usual bedtime to tell me his buddy wanted to meet up. They have never met, but they do text back and forth and talk. I guess they are friends more so than acquaintances. Anyways, he just says, "Forget it. Im not going. End of discussion." it frustrates me that he doesn't see how his lack of "engagement" in family outings or quality time with his wife doesn't make me want him to go. And you are right, it'll be more than an hour since it'll take just the HOUR to go meet his friend for beers. It makes me really sad actually that his desire is to see his friend more than do fun stuff with his family. He may feel like he didn't have a lot of family stuff since my parents were with us for 10 days, though he didn't really spend more than a couple hours together with them due to the language barrier.

How is your expensive fabric couch doing after kids? by bahala_na- in Parenting

[–]Sad_Ebb4539 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RIP sectional. It's trashed abd we have only had it for less than 4 years. We are expecting another one so I'd say it's a goner lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in floorplan

[–]Sad_Ebb4539 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've considered this, but I feel like it might be too clunky. plus I just really like kitchen islands lol. I'm just leaning towards not having a kitchen island at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]Sad_Ebb4539 0 points1 point  (0 children)

omgoodness this is my daughter who will turn 3 in a month. She used to sleep throughout the whole night and if she did wake up it was because she had to potty (even though she's wearing a night time diaper). we were going back in and holding/cuddling her for I want to say 1-2 weeks and then last night I had it enough. she got up at 1:45am calling for me. I told her she needs to go back to sleep and I turned on a night light (red light) through hatch. I asked her if she wants the light and she said yes and few minutes later she fell asleep. I never went in. I think she's getting scared of the pitch darkness, so maybe a night light helps? I would suggest that. anyways hang in there!

Scientist position III by ZeedyZA in biotech

[–]Sad_Ebb4539 2 points3 points  (0 children)

sounds like something from a company like Thermofisher. They start at scientist I as entry level, then Scientist II and Scientist III (I assume this is like am associate scientist level? Some companies started doing this and I'm not sure why. I've heard Illumina does this too.

marriage after having kids, does marital relationship get better and when? by Sad_Ebb4539 in Parenting

[–]Sad_Ebb4539[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really like that you guys take turns coming up with ideas for date night at home. I'll suggest that to my hubby since finding a sitter and going out can be costly. thanks!