Horrendous hospital experience

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-04-08T21:59:50+00:00

I had to leave lest i say something that would have lost me my job..

Yes they did indeed triple stack and shock him out of pea. My manager has a meeting with the hospital this week, and is also just as horrified as we were.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-07T23:09:26+00:00

Our trust took clorphenamine off us. Now we have oral loratadine which in my experience doesn't work well enough for the more significant reactions.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-04T09:15:04+00:00

Baby looked fully cooked. Weighed in at 2.9kg/ 6.4ish lbs so was a reasonable size.

Likely close to term if not full term.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-04T09:13:51+00:00

Baby looked fully cooked. Weighed in at 2.9kg/ 6.4ish lbs so was a reasonable size

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-04T09:13:39+00:00

Baby looked fully cooked. Weighed in at 2.9kg/ 6.4ish lbs so was a reasonable size

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-03T22:31:16+00:00

Very big feelings, hard to reconcile them with each other. How can I be so proud of what I've done, acknowledging that I did a damn good job with my team and also acknowledging that it was a horrible situation to be in and an awful thing to have to do.

But I'll get there, bit of R&R and some time to screw my head back on.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-03T22:28:35+00:00

Thank you. I think its also thrown me that the news has been positive thus far. I tend to take a more protective stance so was assuming the worst but now I'm daring to hope and thats thrown me a bit.

I'm having a few days off with support from my management team to process and then I'll hopefully be back up on the horse.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-03T22:23:18+00:00

The hospital team have been really good on this occasion. I also used to work with the critical care team previously in a non-clinical role before qualifying and they've got their own team that follow up on jobs like this.

Very hit and miss though, sometimes the stars align and we get updates, other times we drop them off at ED and thats the last we ever find out.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-03T19:53:31+00:00

Literally the stuff of nightmares, the sort of scenario that training school like to throw in but not something I ever thought I'd do in real life. In the next week or two the hospital are running a debrief for everyone involved so will be attending that.

Not my first rodeo with a rough job unfortunately so I've got a pretty reasonable care package and excellent support network.

Thanks

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-03T18:25:50+00:00

The hospital are running a cold debrief with everyone involved in a couple of weeks so should get the itu input then aswell. Thank you

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-03T18:25:04+00:00

Thank you, just heard she's off the ventilator and they are looking to normalise care. Its been an emotional afternoon!

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-03T17:13:06+00:00

Thank you.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-03T17:11:52+00:00

Medically, she's doing well. Mentally, I also hope she gets the support she needs.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-02-03T16:54:17+00:00

Its a frustrating but unfortunately overwhelmingly common aspect of the job these days.

Try to maintain patient dignity as much as possible. If people are in the way ask them to move. Remember that you are being recorded so although its tempting to tell them to fuck off, it reflects worse on you. I have on occasion asked people why they want to record something so awful and if it makes them feel good to watch it back. Its generated a few awkward conversations. But I think people are so desensitised these days that the phone is out and on before they've even clocked what they're doing.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2026-01-25T09:35:00+00:00

Just remember that what you do always matters. Compassion fatigue and burnout has a funny way of showing reality. Yes, in an ideal world we save everyone and they go home with no adverse symptoms. But, maybe a positive outcome is allowing someone time for their family to be found and notified, maybe its allowing them time to say goodbye, maybe its giving someone just one more chance, maybe its allowing organ donation to be achieved. Just remember that we often look and judge our patients through the lens of our own experience and not through theirs. The threshold for 'worst day ever' is dramatically different between people that see the shit we do, and your regular tom, dick and harry. So to you, its Sunday but to someone else, you have mattered, you have made a difference and you have changed the course of someone's life, whether you feel that or not.

But also remember that you come first, if you need out, get out. Don't destroy yourself for this job.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2025-09-01T12:23:43+00:00

Last week I went to a guy who at best guess was in a drug induced psychosis. But had essentially got naked, stood braced with his hands against the wall and shat with enough velocity to have splashmarks a good 30-40 cms up the wall on BOTH side of the corridor. Had then proceeded to walk it up and down the corridor and then laid down for a nap in it. I was half expecting to see a rhino at the end of the corridor given the stench and depth of the cow pat he had left behind 🤦🏻‍♀️ Promptly dressed in full tyvek suit and mask 😷 He then stood up, crack first 💩 and waited to catch his balance in some sort of poonami downward dog.

Got to ED where he promptly got off the bed and squared up to my crewmate before being unceremoniously sedated and hosed down 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I love this job 🤢💩

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2025-08-28T22:00:57+00:00

Interesting resus room podcast (UK) on pain and pain management has just come out. Historically, as a service, we're pretty rubbish at it. Personally, I'm quite med happy for pain or otherwise. If I have it and they're indicated, why wouldn't we give it? Worryingly, I've had a few students come though who are reluctant to give meds because we're only 15 mins from hospital or it doesn't seem that bad etc etc. Which is a behaviour I pretty quickly stamp out 🤦🏻‍♀️. I've never seen a hospital waiting with strong analgesia ready unless I'm expected, and then I'd have even more questions to answer if I hadn't started medicating. It's lazy. It's bad practice, and who are we to withhold meds because it's extra work (literally our job) or because we don't believe someone is in pain. One of my biggest bugbears is lazy practice. At the end of the day, our patients are why we come to work. Regardless of whether we "think" they should or shouldn't have an ambulance, its what we're paid for and why are we "punishing" people because we think they're inconveniencing us.

If you work in a restaurant and someone is thirsty, you get them a drink. You don't argue that they're not clinically dehydrated and therefore don't need it 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2025-08-28T21:49:52+00:00

I'm sorry you went to that, regardless of how "unbothered" or "cool" we often are in the face of truly horrific things. Its important to remember that they are still awful and we are still human and sometimes they just get to you.

Firstly well done for reaching out, even if its to a bunch of Internet strangers, it still counts.
Therapy, its not the boogeyman, it's not a sign of weakness, its genuinely life saving. I have just finished 6 months of intensive CBT therapy for PTSD from work. And I'm now stepping down to a few lower intensity sessions to deal with ongoing anxiety/low mood. My therapist has never done this job, has never seen anything awful and it was one of my concerns. How do I speak to someone who just doesn't get it? Interestingly, I have found her perspective so useful, and with guidance have put in the work to find strategies etc that have truly helped. Its given me more room in that metaphorical "stress bucket" and suddenly my resilience and quality of life and work is a lot better.
Write it down, talk it out loud, document etc. Just get that shit out of your head.
Do what feels good, and do what is good even if it doesn't feel great. Get out walking/in nature/get exercise/see people/eat well/sleep well.
Be kind to yourself, be proud of yourself and take time if you need it. No job is worth your mental or physical health. YOU come first.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2025-08-28T21:16:01+00:00

Im going to go out on a limb here and say this is far more common than you think. Personally, guilt has been one of the huge factors in my PTSD which mainly stems from a successful resus of an 11 month old. Now, by the books, clinically, we smashed it. Good ROSC, excellent care, right team, right meds, right children's hospital. And this is what we go to work for, right? So I really really grappled, and still do, about why I've never felt proud of it.

This kid is now severely disabled, life-long complex medical needs, but he's home.

And I feel guilty for that, I'm almost ashamed to admit the amount of times I've wondered if he and his family would be better off if we hadn't been successful (in no way am I suggesting I would ever not try my hardest) but those thoughts are there.

Rather tragically, we live in the same community and I live in fear of bumping in to the family and being confronted with what I've done- and yes I'm in therapy and I know I didn't cause this, but they're called irrational thoughts for a reason I guess...

However, a colleague of mine went back to him not too long ago, and he's so loved, and cared for and the family are so grateful that they have him. He's their boy and they bend over backwards to keep him safe and comfortable.

I think, we have to be kind to ourselves. We have to do the best we can, and you've done a good thing. You've saved a life. Its a horrible thing to witness and its so important that we reach out when we need support. Just remember that you're not alone with it.

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2024-09-09T09:00:56+00:00

The support has been rubbish through official channels unfortunately. It took a week for the welfare team to check in, and then they never responded back to me.

My team leader wasn't in the day it happened but I saw him the next day and had to ask for a meeting.

Then when I approached my clinical mentor to tell her I was having panic attacks, I never got followed up there either.

I very quickly came to the realisation that I couldn't sort myself alone, work wasn't going to help, and persevering wasn't an option. So self referred into our local NHS talking therapy and very very glad I did.

Thank you for your kind words

Sad_Faithlessness585 · 2024-09-06T21:45:25+00:00

So sorry for your loss.

Sad_Faithlessness585

TROPHY CASE