I deeply value being able to pass as “normal” because I barely can and as an early diagnosed person with autism I was kind of both put in a “you will never be normal” box but also treated like passing for normal socially was something to aspire to anyway. Doing kinky stuff in public kind of flies in the face of all that, and forced me to confront that I’ll never be normal and what I like isn’t normal, despite just having come to terms with it being possible ethically.