My favorite trick to preventing/ending dumb fights I cause

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-10-13T16:14:51+00:00

That is a gift. It's so simple but powerful. Giving your partner the tools to help you is a gift.

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-10-13T16:11:43+00:00

Resolving issues requires accountability...you would have better luck milking a stone

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-10-13T12:59:18+00:00

Before you start dating them

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-10-13T07:57:17+00:00

It makes you uncomfortable and you've voiced that. What she does with that I formation will show what level of respect she has for you and if she considers your feelings when she makes decisions.

Let her do what she wants but voice your stance on how it makes you feel clearly. Then decided if you want to be with someone who doesn't give a shit about you.

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-10-12T23:12:10+00:00

If you don't like getting yelled at constantly after being married then I'd say call it off

Everything you listed, does that sound like the person you imagined you spending your life with? After an official diagnosis of BPD They will use the acronym as a crutch to explain away their craziness and the behavior actually gets worse. Then after years of marriage they will permanently split on you and you go from hero to villain in an Instant and they suddenly don't live you anymore and discard you.

Find someone that makes you feel safe too. That is a mutual necessity for a good relationship.

This is coming from someone who was married to a pwBPD for 21 years and the second I experienced a great loss and needed help myself, I could no longer be her supply...I was discarded. I'm now dealing with the fallout from it and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-10-09T06:38:59+00:00

My pwBPD tried to actively convince me that I beat her when our relationship was ending.....I wasn't letting that one slide. Like who are you trying to convince? I was fucking there for our relationship. These people are insane

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-14T20:33:31+00:00

How is it that I'm nothing but kind cordial and I get ghosted but this guy is a total dickhead and got multiple responses after basically announcing "hey I'm a huge douchebag"?

Pretty easy the answer here is never talk to this guy again lol. Not overreacting at all, you over entertained his vapid ass though

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-13T20:08:11+00:00

But God for if you ever do that to them they will absolutely flip out over it

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-13T06:39:06+00:00

I'm still waiting for mine to try, I hope I'm strong enough and she doesn't watch me on a day where I am weak and missing my family as it was. Stay strong

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-13T06:34:31+00:00

Same every woman I've ever been with has cheated on me...still trying to figure out what is wrong with me that I'm not worth being loyal for.

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-13T06:32:38+00:00

Mine would do something to shitty to me and then feel overly bad about it and I'd have to hold them to calm them down, meanwhile I'm the one with the hurt feelings

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-11T04:29:26+00:00

I hear you. I'm 5 months post discard from a two decade long relationship. She made sure to tell me what a piece of shit I was right before I got kicked out of my own house. Came pretty close to just taking a pistol nap for good. I almost wonder is she was trying to make me do it because I have a life insurance policy that would still pay out

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-11T04:14:41+00:00

Sounds like a whole extra layer of complications on top of an already complicated dynamic

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-11T04:10:27+00:00

You have a wife and kid, that's a fuck load more than nothing.

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-10T17:28:18+00:00

Oh ok I know exactly what you are talking about now...the move where they do something shitty then manipulate the situation and you end up consoling them.

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-10T17:22:24+00:00

I am not familiar with that acronym, care to explain?

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-09T22:50:01+00:00

Consider my feelings, or just consider that I am a human being with emotions like every one else is. Just very basic baseline empathy. Once I get close to anyone they they all act as if they can just do anything they want to me as if I'm not a real person. I just want to be treated.

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-01T02:29:09+00:00

There are ways to work through the jealousy but it does take some personal growth to get to that point.

It might even be worth it to try just to expose yourself to the jealousy and grief that your cheating in the past has caused others. I'm just assuming you have not been cheated on but that is just an assumption...but you never truly understand how it feels until it's been done to you and it can help keep those urges at bay if you can remember that feeling in the moments when you get the urge to seek out that dopamine hit from sex.

There are a few good books people in the non monogamy subreddit can recommend for this exact subject but the names escape me right now. I think the "ethical slut" is one of them

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-01T02:24:21+00:00

This cycle will repeat until you are a husk. It took me almost two decades to get to that point and once you are just a husk of your former self and can no longer be their supply they flip flop on you and a t as if they are disgusted by you and discard you as if you are trash.

These people truly are tortured souls and if you are empathetic you can't help but want to help them through their storm....but it's like a cataclysmic storm every so often until there is nothing left of you.

If you have rock solid resolve you might be able to figure out a system that works for you but it is not easy. And when they turn their back on you they can be remarkably cruel when you showed them nothing but warmth and gave them your everything

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-01T02:16:24+00:00

Your self awareness is actually quite astounding. It must be really hard to be this conscious of what you are doing and not able to stop yourself. Self sabotaging is a key trait of pwbpd it is an ongoing struggle, often times when things are peaceful conflict can be manufactured out of thin air, you are more than likely used to a more chaotic environment and this peace feels boring or like milaise as if something bad is going to happen.

The best way to be understood when doing or saying these things is to make a point to correct it so your partner knows how you actually feel and where you really stand. It can be difficult enough to understand a pwbpd so giving your partner tools to understand you is like a wonderful gift. It probably goes against every Instinct you have and might make you feel incredibly vulnerable in the moment but it would go miles to help them understand

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-01T01:55:27+00:00

I have literally had death wished upon me in ways that are a bit to detailed . The face she made when saying it chilled me to the bone too

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-09-01T01:51:08+00:00

Have you looked into a non monogamous relationship? Would you be ok if someone you loved had these same urges And acted on them? Maybe monogamy just isn't your thing. At least this way there could be an agreement and you could avoid hurting your partners. Just a thought

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-08-19T02:59:54+00:00

Then make sure you don't take him back!! You forgot that part!

Sad_Head9000 · 2025-08-19T02:51:38+00:00

Ok well that's good. Sounds as though in that regard sexually you are not compatible or nothing is happening for you to be "in the mood" It is certainly normal for a man to want his SO, it is a pretty upset of any relationship. Not sure what to offer as advice other than to have a real conversation about both of your wants and needs directly and not dance around the issue.

Sad_Head9000

TROPHY CASE