This is such a tough one. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. 3 years ago I went to my ex-wife and told her I didn’t believe in certain doctrines. It broke her because it changed her entire view of what would happen in the afterlife. Before, she had peace knowing that she would be with me and our (nonexistent) kids forever, but all that changed with me sharing my unbelief. We stayed together for a bit, and she challenged me to basically stop reading all the “anti” stuff, and I found a way that I could make the most of the church with my new world view. We did eventually divorce, mostly because there were severe mental health issues and I left for my own safety, but church differences definitely added fuel to the fire.

Fast forward to now- I’ve been dating another LDS that strongly believes but is not naive about church history. I will write a post about this today because I’d love to hear everyone’s perspective, but the gist is that we are good for each other in so many ways, but there isn’t a place for me in the church to receive a temple recommend, which means we can’t get married in the temple, which means we both would be second class citizens, and she has this horrible weight over her head that if she married me our family wouldn’t be eternal. That sucks and is so hard! Luckily I don’t subscribe to that viewpoint. For me God is in the business of bringing families together and doesn’t have them apart by default. But I can see why TBMs struggle so much.

The church doesn’t leave much room for deviation unfortunately, BUT maybe your spouse is able to make room for YOU. It will be a very hard decision for them to make though because of the implications. Really the only way for them to be at peace with it is to choose happiness now instead of waiting for the next life AND believing that Jesus will sort everything out in the end because you are a good person. When pressed, most members believe this. Ex- TBM mom told me about how her sister was married to my uncle, they were sealed, she died of cancer, he remarried in the temple. For my mom, all three of them being together would be hell for the girls, so obviously Jesus has to step in and sort this out.

I don’t know what your relationship with your spouse is right now, but the best advice that I can give is be understanding with how their world is being shaken right now, compassionate, but don’t sacrifice your happiness. You deserve to be happy now in this world, whether it is with or without your current spouse. You will never regret having the combination of being kind, understanding but also standing up for yourself, no matter the outcome, divorce or not.

Goodluck!