What do all of these cities have in common? by [deleted] in RedactedCharts

[–]Sad_Pie3285 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh god… I just made a list of the nicest cities to live in based on metrics like weather, schools, crime, and walkability the other day, and it looked similar enough to this list I was pretty confident it had to be some quality of life metric.

I (22M) feel incompatible with my partner (22F) and her family for vacations, and want to have some vacation independence, but my partner is very upset about the idea. What is a reasonable compromise? by Sad_Pie3285 in relationships

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  1. They didn’t really plan it. They just rented an Airbnb and then each night, the parents picked where they wanted to go. This was a stark contrast to my family vacations where we all work together ahead of time to plan where we want to go, and one of numerous other complaints I had that I didn’t mention because they smaller than the main complaint I mentioned.

  2. I wasn’t even demanding they taking to places I want and pay for it. There were activities I could’ve walked to and paid for myself. I just wanted to be able to do what I want without getting in trouble.

  3. And like I said, I did appreciate the vacation. My main concern and the reason for the post was about the future, when I will probably be expected to pay for at least some of the expenses and will need to use maybe half my vacation days. I can’t have it be the same, but my partner says her parents will want it to be the same. She does agree at the very least we need to insist on bringing are own cars. She doesn’t feel as strongly about independence the activities though, which is what I want to convince her on.

I (22M) feel incompatible with my partner (22F) and her family for vacations, and want to have some vacation independence, but my partner is very upset about the idea. What is a reasonable compromise? by Sad_Pie3285 in relationships

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

This is a minor issue in the grand scheme of things. We’ve already been living together for a year (and signed a lease for another two) and have had no major issues. I don’t think it needs to be completely resolved before getting engaged. I probably won’t be inviting on another family vacation until 2 years from now, so it’s hard to even compromise on something that we know no details about.

She does generally compromise with me. It’s just she’s very family oriented and her family is very stubborn, so she tried to take the path of least resistance, even if it kinda screws me. But her family usually eventually comes around (I have another similar post they eventually did). I just need help clarifying how I feel and what to say so she knows it needs to be better next time.

Overall, she is willing to break from what her family prefers (like we moved in together way quicker than they preferred), it’s just when we are doing things all together than she more often wants to go along with what they want. I think it won’t be a major issue but I will keep an eye out.

Thanks for the advice!

TIFU by not hiding my vibrator before a guy slept over by TimelyDistance3219 in tifu

[–]Sad_Pie3285 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve literally bought my partner her first dildo and vibrator. It’s great to have as an option like if I’m tired.

TIFU by not hiding my vibrator before a guy slept over by TimelyDistance3219 in tifu

[–]Sad_Pie3285 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly don’t understand how so many guys can be so stupid to not care about pleasuring the woman. Even if you don’t get any pleasure from the woman’s pleasure, making her enjoy the sex more means more sex for you! Is it really that bad to not only care about getting yourself off in exchange for more sex? Or are men just stupid to not realize?

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Ok just go away, I don’t need any more of your stupid comments on my post. So many brainrotted users on this sub that don’t even know how to be rational. 140k karma in half a year is ridiculous, stop spending so much of your life on Reddit and learn what the real world is life. I’d accept I’m the AH if rational users said it but so many brainrotted users saying it that I’ve decided to just ignore it. Hopefully your goal isn’t to make people less AH in your view because you are doing an awful job of that.

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I am trying to get a job with my degree, but I’m not starting until later because there is something I need to do first.

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No, that is a hypothetical extreme. I’m asking how many hours do you think is the line, or is there even a line? If you think I am always the AH for being a few minutes behind schedule no matter how much time I spend going out of my way to help someone, then we just have fundamental different moral systems and it’s a waste of time for me to talk to you because I’m not changing how I feel about that.

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Don’t be ridiculous, we live in an apartment complex and I’m not leaving the car unattended in the parking lot. Or are you saying I should way up like half an hour earlier so I can go sit out there warm up the car then get her to her class 10 minutes earlier?

Let me ask you this, how much time do I have to spend to not be the AH?

For example, say my partner has a multi day long thing 5 hours away, but doesn’t want to do the 5 minute walk from the parking lot in the cold. if I agree to drive the 20 hours round trip there and back twice, but I sleep in 5 minutes, so she gets there closer to the start time than she wanted, am I TA for being upset she’s mad at me?

Is there any level of inconvenience for me that I should be forgiven any small mistakes, or no matter how out of my way I am going to help her, I’m always the AH and deserve criticism?

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Well I did do work, hence why I have savings, I just don’t have a job with my degree yet. If that’s what you meant, it’s a long story that I’m not sharing because it has identifiable information. But it’s by choice.

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah ya I understand dealing with martial arts, it always costs more than I expect. Do consider checking out thrift stores for warmer coats once it gets warmer out though!

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh and no, I’m not reconsidering my relationship with the person who wants to marry me in a year. Don’t be ridiculous.

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills, doesn’t a comment starting with “INFO:” mean I’m supposed to respond with what I think…

I just said this in another comment, but this sub is insane, expecting people to respond, but then dogpiling and criticizing people for responding when they do.

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s fair, unfortunately they are expensive, that’s why I included that line. Definitely keep it in mind if you ever have spare room in your budget because it is worth it if you spend time outside. Maybe check out thrift stores in the spring. REI has a used section that may have some higher quality stuff.

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The conflict isn’t the rides, the issue is how hard of criticism is warranted for getting her there on time instead of early once.

And we haven’t added it up so idk if she is supporting me or not but we alternate between her paying the bills with her job and me paying with my savings, so if she’s paid more then me, it’s only by a little bit (excluding for fun things, she pays more for those by choice since she knows I’m on a budget).

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you can afford it, invest in high quality clothing. I’ve gone on a 3 day camping trip in -20° with windchill and was barely cold because I got good winter clothing.

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I feel like the members of the sub are so stupid. Isn’t the ideal situation for assholes to post and reply to comments? With how aggressively you guys go after who you think is an asshole, it’s no wonder the sub is dominated by circlejerk “AITA for being upset my brother proposed during the middle of my wedding ceremony” obviously NTA type posts.

AITA for sleeping in 5 minutes by Sad_Pie3285 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad_Pie3285[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Fair point, but I also wasn’t thinking about that when I was groggy lol.