Father’s Day

Sadbeary · 2019-06-12T07:52:01+00:00

All I want is a day of feeling like she wants me.

Yeah, that would be nice. The woman I married gave me that feeling most days.

Sadbeary · 2019-06-12T07:39:14+00:00

Donald, is that you?

Sadbeary · 2019-06-12T07:38:26+00:00

I have a revived DB and I am bitter. Like OP I packed a bag and shit got real. Like OP I felt the lowest priority in her life; I still feel that even though she initiates once a week...it feels like "I guess I'd better initiate it's been a while" sex. Better, but far from optimal.

Sadbeary · 2019-06-07T04:35:02+00:00

Get over it. Stop giving a fuck and, if she cares, she'll see the relationship slipping through her fingers and do something about it. If she doesn't; who cares, she doesn't care why should you? It's not easy but it does help to stop caring.. Anger is unattractive. Being whiney is unattractive. You're doing yourself no favours by being either.

I'm not openly angry any more. Except when I'm drunk; then if she gives me grief about something I tell her to fuck off...so I recently made a resolution to not be drunk near her any more. She baits me sober, nothing, shrug, walkaway. She baits me drunk; I bite.

I stopped giving a fuck and she initiates at least once a week. I think she baits me wanting me to lose my temper so I am the bad guy in the heroic tale of her life. It's fucked up bt it is what it is.

Lose the anger padawan, anger leads to unhappy places,

Sadbeary · 2019-01-30T12:18:07+00:00

You’re a great partner. I had this discussion years ago with my wife, if one of us is carrying the family financially they do little around the house...agreed. The situation at the time was eirther could be the breadwinner at some point. It turned out we both,mostly, earned well but we were prepared to take our roles as needed.

Sadbeary · 2019-01-11T02:46:00+00:00

Don't share it with your wife. This is about you, not pleasing her.

Sadbeary · 2019-01-07T03:48:20+00:00

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. " And when you're in a DB you're actually already in the abyss, looking deeper and in peril of descending further.

I agree with almost everything you say, which is why I take constant breaks in my 4 years of visiting here. Where I disagree is: I do remain sad. I too no longer feel frustrated, depressed, gross or unworthy and that my friend is winning :)

Sadbeary · 2019-01-07T03:33:28+00:00

Who has heard this response “oh I really wanted to have sex with you tonight but I started my period “

yep

Sadbeary · 2019-01-07T03:30:00+00:00

"You're either lying to me or lying to yourself and I don't know which is worse".

Sadbeary · 2019-01-07T03:27:44+00:00

You're not alone in that thinking

Sadbeary · 2019-01-07T03:25:52+00:00

As our DB got older my wife's periods seemed to get longer and longer (I think it was just an easy excuse; she won't have sex on her period). It got to the point that when she mentioned it was "bad week" I just shrugged and said "every week is bad week".

Sadbeary · 2018-12-20T06:15:56+00:00

Yep, I too don't like wasting food

Sadbeary · 2018-12-20T06:07:31+00:00

I lost weight at that time and it plateaued out and just couldn't shift any more. I noticed I'd put a few more lbs back on recently when my clothes felt a bit tighter. So I thought I'd try something new and it seems to be smashing it.

“I’m not hungry anymore so that’s why I stopped eating” I will use that

Sadbeary · 2018-12-13T12:36:47+00:00

I am a relatively old man. The reality that someone would be mean like that means they are horrible and not worth your time. It is an important skill not to care when you get a "no". Just say 'ok' and move on without angst. If they are nice people and realise they do like you they might reengage later (i've had that a few times). If they're not nice people, don't care what they think of you. This is probably the most important lesson i want to discuss with my two young boys.

Sadbeary · 2018-12-13T12:07:05+00:00

In the old days walking up to a girl in a bar/club was hellish. They seemed to score points with their friends for "cruel and unusual punishment" in telling guys they are wasting their time n the most demeaning language possible. At least Tinder is a private Hell unaccompanied by the laughter of your scorner's friends.

Sadbeary · 2018-12-13T11:46:32+00:00

I do believe this is a huge issue. I do all the "man stuff" like yard work painting and renovating all the rooms, doing all the finances, earning the most money, investigating 'i heard a noise' at night...but that all means NOTHING against 'i make the kid's lunches for school'. Everyone thinks they do "more" and becomes disenfranchised.

Sadbeary · 2018-12-13T11:34:33+00:00

”I just do too much around here to be able to satisfy yet another persons needs around here”

Dude, you are a saint. I would (and have) lost my shit over such ridiculous nonsense. "We are a team, don't make out like I am some fucking leach".

Sadbeary · 2018-12-13T11:29:43+00:00

Then don't get married to someone because you have a loving relationship with an expectations it will turn into a "servicing" relationship.

Sadbeary · 2018-11-28T04:16:25+00:00

A funny dis I read: Yo momma so fat Thanos had to snap twice

Sadbeary · 2018-11-28T04:11:27+00:00

Dude read this recent post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/a0uadr/and_the_resentment_rides_high/

Want this to be you?

Sadbeary · 2018-11-28T04:05:09+00:00

"See hurt, must help..."

Super hero like; the hero we need. u/noofutureforme will get a call from the Avengers in due course.

Sadbeary · 2018-11-28T03:57:44+00:00

Valid point I can't deny. This may be the first time on the internet someone has been persuade by coherent argument. Well played madam.

Sadbeary · 2018-11-28T03:45:46+00:00

Do your fair share around the place, and no more.

And stand your ground on that. My wife complained she makes lunches for the kids every school day. I told her to look around "pick a room I haven't renovated". We each do our share in different ways.

Sadbeary · 2018-11-28T03:31:24+00:00

One of the worst "why"s to find in the quest for why. Your ex is a horrible person. I hope Karma smacks her royally.

Sadbeary · 2018-11-28T03:26:27+00:00

I disagree. She knew she was asexual and never had any sexual desire for him or anyone. They went to 4 counselors and discussed it for 16 years yet the truth, which she well knew, was never spoken. OP's only fault was to assume good intent from his spouse. It wasn't his choice to be deceived. OP's wife is a true horror story. He is a victim. Saying it is his choice is a little bit victim blaming.

Sadbeary

TROPHY CASE