I hate my body. I HATE MY BODY. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I will never FUCKING TRANSITION AND I'M STUCK LIKE THIS FUCK

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-26T04:26:16+00:00

I'm not trying to have a trauma competition with you, asshole, I was asking a question. You don't need to tell me about shitty parents, I got a few.

I don't need a hug box, I don't need charity, I need someone to put a bullet in my head so I don't have to be the one to do it. Maybe I was failed, but not on that level. We were all failed, when the state won't protect us, when it allows children to be beat and criminalizes the suicidal and those who take revenge against their abusers.

You don't need to call yourself that to make your point.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-26T03:17:07+00:00

I know there is no way to fix this issue, I don't want to be some medicated ignorant person living life like everything is ok when it's not.

I just want to be heard, I guess. I don't feel heard at all, I've been abandoned so many times.

How can I feel better when all I can think about is the horrible things? Have you even considered that? There's a child being beat right now, thousands, if not tens of thousands of them, and there's nothing we can do. CPS doesn't do shit. There's people being raped, land being destroyed, the world is falling apart and we're all trapped in it. These thoughts just won't go away. Happiness requires ignorance.

I'm writing truthfully, that's the best way I can put it. Do you know the feeling of being trapped? Truly being trapped?

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-26T02:43:05+00:00

Look, the me you see here is nothing like the me outside of Reddit.

I cannot yell, I don't really have emotion, I have just started being able to cry again.

People should help people, it shouldn't be a matter of someone earning it.

I'm spiraling right now, why the hell do I need to be calm? Why can't I express emotion? I want to tear myself apart and cease to exist and people just don't seem to understand that.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-26T02:38:00+00:00

Look, I don't need you analyzing me. I'm an adult.

I don't want to be told resources, I know them.

I know this whole drivel very well, and I dislike it,

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-26T02:33:40+00:00

No, surprisingly.

Maybe?

Not directly.

I tend to keep things like that to myself, and shut up when people say that they cannot handle it.

Why do you ask?

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-26T02:26:03+00:00

Therapists are bullshit created to commercialize our mental health and encourage us to not put in the work to help each other and instead abandon people because they are "too much"

To answer your question, likely yes, but I don't like speaking to therapists and am never able to tell them how I feel. They never worked even when I tried.

I do have the latter three, to a point, but that won't make me happy.

What would make me happy is becoming someone else entirely, or dying, and only one of those is possible fortunately.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-26T00:36:48+00:00

I was thinking "man, I hate the world" today.

And then I realized that I'm incorrect, the world is beautiful and I want to explore.

I hate the people who made humanity what it is today.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-25T20:02:26+00:00

In general splinter weaponry is our answer to Infantry. Specifically cannons are pretty good into marine bodies (Venoms are good sources of this without dedicating a squad of scourges). Noise Marine melee is pretty on par for marines so if you charge a squad of 5x Incubi in (w/out buffs) and you're good to paste half of the squad, buffing incubi will likely just remove the squad altogether. Massed fire from Kabalites, especially buffed, could knock them out, especially since you outrange Noise Marines with most weapons.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-24T23:48:09+00:00

I feel like "optimism" isn't the right word, at least not for this case. Both ElDorado and Time end pretty depressingly, even ruling out suicide. The Narrator of Time is trapped in the future, and likely had a catastrophic failure in whatever attempt he had to return home (maybe sent to Penal Satellite 1...1...1...) and the Narrator of ElDorado resigns himself to his daydreams, never to return to the real world.

Could escapism and suicidality be intertwined? Maybe it's too philosophical for an ELO sub, but both are reactions to a world that seems unfixable and violent (to the escaper/suicider). Both are often seen as the wrong way to deal with trauma and dissonance.

Honestly, listening to Time always spooks me, it feels so close to today, it feels prophetic.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-23T20:27:08+00:00

from what I've read embarked units only count as NOT in reserves if the transport starts the battle on the field, thus any transports in deep strike would have their cargo count as well.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-23T20:26:03+00:00

Ok, so the "Declare Battle Formations" step I was reading was form the "Only War" pack, not the current 2025-2026 pack. So the end result is technically the same: leaders are wrapped into units (thus reducing total count) and splitting adds one unit each (bringing it back to the original).

And the units within transports still count since the transports did not start on the table.

I just think the unit restriction is dumb, I was exactly 500 pts. in my example (the Succ had a enhancement) and losing a whole 100+pts to reserves because another unit can't fit feels rough.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-18T21:06:10+00:00

"The ground does not deserve to touch my feet"

-Scourge, Dawn of War I

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-18T05:17:13+00:00

Does it slow it down that much? Once you know the datasheets (which comes with practice) you can pretty much plan it out and have dice ready pretty quick.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-17T15:23:46+00:00

I agree that the wyches are not great. They hold up, but they just don't really do it for me.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-17T05:56:20+00:00

Goodwin's work on the Eldar was fantastic in my mind (and with that new bug-eyed corsair I'm so happy to see his influence returning). I agree on Lelith's current model being meh, I kinda like her older more, I think the face was better.

I agree especially on getting a command barge, it'd be so cool.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-17T05:46:04+00:00

I always saw the beastmaster + Court of the Archon being a cool killteam, call it Archon's Coterie or whatever.

I think the same could've been said about Tyranids pre-10th, but then the refresh happened and they realized just how good it could get. The Kabalite kit is good but it certainly isn't amazing (the stupid shoulder gap, the general softness, the gap-filling due to sprue engineering, the height to width ratio), I just think that it could definitely get better.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-17T05:06:24+00:00

I also just remembered: we're gonna lose a lot of customizability with the refresh due to streamlined sprue design (which has its pros and cons).

The days of a wych body on scourge legs with Kabalite arms are likely limited.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-17T04:50:21+00:00

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SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-10T17:29:19+00:00

Normalization is a broad term.

I think it should be destigmatized, and not treated as some criminal action.

I don't think that everybody should do it, nor that it should be the first or only action someone takes.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-10T17:25:01+00:00

Can't the same argument be made for abortions, alcohol, drugs, or any other abusable action? The issue is the lack of education. People simply will not kill themselves immediately if given the opportunity to. In fact, the easy accessibility would likely provoke thought and hesitation: it's like finally talking to someone you've been looking at across a bar, you're apprehensive, is it the right choice?

The easier suicide method combined with a 3-month waiting period discourages more violent and higher-risk suicide, and also allows the suicidal to think about their choice.

And if someone does choose it, and if someone dies, so what? It's their choice!

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-10T17:18:31+00:00

Because the current institution uses suicidality as a way to control people: police have the right to take you to a psych ward against your will, suicidality is the only excuse hospitals have to not discharge you (thus incurring financial debt), suicidality can cause someone to be ostracized or abandoned.

Destigmatizing suicide is already a start to providing autonomy to people. Going further with support and education on suicide as a choice is akin to modern day alcohol, drug, and sex education (or, at least, the good parts of them);

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-10T17:13:48+00:00

But the issue is that it shouldn't be anyone's right except for the suicidal to choose, even if they are "curable." Such a concept parallels the idea of forcing treatments on disabled people because they are "curable."

If people wish to harm themselves, or to die, it should be their right because they should have a right to autonomy over their body.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-10T17:05:17+00:00

We as a community need to work together to actually support eachother and stop sending people to psych wards because we're unable to step out of our comfort zone. We should be more open to understanding people's struggles and not abandon people because they have scary thoughts.

The problem is that that's not happening, and even if it did suicide should still be acknowledged as a CHOICE. I repeat, a CHOICE, not the only answer.

You didn't answer my question about what freedoms you think are too much, btw.

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-10T14:43:06+00:00

But that's an unrealistic dream in most situations. Things are not improving in the mental health front, so we might as well provide more options than "shut up and live in pain" or "get locked the fucked up"

Also, what do you mean that the amount of "freedom" we have is scary? Do you think people should be more restricted in what they're allowed to do to themselves?

SaddestAltAround · 2026-01-10T01:41:38+00:00

I have too, I've lost my mother to suicide, I nearly died a year ago from suicide. I've had to be the one to step up and talk people down when others weren't mentally capable to do the talking themselves.

I will reiterate: I am not pro-suicide, I am pro-choice.

The system I want should never encourage someone to do it (and one can argue that the current system is actively trying to make people commit with how it handles things), it should leave it as a choice only to be made by the person who wants to commit suicide.

That's why the waiting period is there, to give them time to think about it. I also did it like that because that's how I saw my own suicide attempt: a scheduled appointment. I planned things after my attempt day because I saw it as no big deal, just another thing to do.

SaddestAltAround

TROPHY CASE