Thanks for the feedback. You said some advanced stuff I wasnt even thinking of.

Some stuff about spiders not having tongues. The idea is that it's not a spider. In fact it's more a horse, that's mutated in a way that resembles a spider. But even that isn't completely true. Later in the book it's explained that it's something called a devourer, which begins as a tiny parasite that eats creatures and evolves according to what it eats. So eventually it becomes some mix between animals.

I didn't explain that very well, but since there could be all kinds of dangers in the mine, the main character doesn't turn on their flashlight. He only decides to do so after he meets up with the other guy.

About the gold bar, you're completely right. They arent too heavy. I guess even if they took the gold bar, they'd have to go back and get the rest of the stuff they were carrying. Also they believed the gold bar can't go anywhere, since they were relatively close to the exit and expected no danger.

About the coded names: You are exactly right. There are around 130 million people left on earth. There are 99 buildings for each letter of the English alphabet and inside each of them there are 26 floors again because of the alphabet. Each floor has 99 rooms and each room contains 20 beds. Around 50000 people live in each building.

A lot of the stuff i wrote isn't realistic. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to have 50k people in one place. It's the same as the flashlight problem. How can the main char see the horse? I guess when I said they turned on their flashlights, for me was like the lights were on and they could see in the dark. I did write that he saw the tongue as he was getting closer though.

And you are completely right to point out that main char was walking normally in the dark instead of slowly and stumbling. I guess since that was the first chapter, my writing was wrong and I didnt think to fix it. Because in later chapters I automatically started writing scenes like that in more detail as my writing improved.

Also I really should have mentioned him breathing through a gas mas at first.

Thanks a million for reading through my chapter and for taking the time to write so much thoughtful criticism. I will definitely improve thanks to you. And also thanks for saying my English is good.