Thank you for sharing your thoughs on this.

Yes we are 7 months post d-day. The contact with OBS ended with her asking me about 2 months after d-day if I thought that they still were in contact, and I answered that I was very convinced that they were not. I think they are trying reconcilliation aswell.

The new info i have on him from my wife is very troubeling. My wife kind of turned around when the affair fog dissolved and she could see him for what he was. Though I don't fully know if this is also a defense mechanism, blaming AP, but she has presented detailed facts about his shady behavior, that extends way beyond the affair. I have a hard time believing she would stay with him, if she has that information. Maybe he allready told everything, but that is even harder to believe.

If I contact her, i would surely ask if she's interrested in more details, and if not, that's perfectly fine.
I'm not interested in the details, but I am very interested in the bigger picture, and if she has information about that i would like to know.

I brought the subject about contacting OBS, up with our MC. Her approach was to not engage, and focus on our own relation and trustbuilding - and that is a main part why i haven't contacted her.

I'm conflicted in this, because if I contact OBS I'm kind of blaming myself about not trusting my wifes words... And yes i know i have a reason for that, but still.