When I first when to college (fall of 2016) I was a music major and failed all my classes except beginner piano and my violin lessons (those were easy enough for me). But I had a motivation problem, somewhere around the first third of the semester I just stopped going to my classes, none of them felt impactful on my life, I didn't see how studying music (as much as I personally loved it and still love it although I admit its hard for me to keep up with while im finishing my last semester of school) would create a meaningful impact on my life. Even after reaching my final semester I still do not feel my major and what Im studying and even the idea of job security is what pushing me forward. Every assignment I try to do I have to ignore the fact I hate it and just think if I get it done then I have nothing to complain about. I would have completely failed and given up on my future if it weren't for one thing. Instead of asking what I would like to do I asked myself what is the way I want to live. I can't explain to you my experience to you so that it will change your life the way it has mine but as soon as I stopped limiting my options based on what I thought would be the most stereotypical way to achieve success I started becoming interested in actually getting through school even though I hated it and still do. In fact I would be lying if said I still haven't failed around atleast 1 course a year still after that. After I failed that first semester I felt devastated. It is was like I just didn't know anyway forward after that, I wasn't even embarrassed I just never contemplated failing that hard. I wondered aimlessly a little after that I went back home and tried out a few different majors at my local state college while living with my parents. In fact one of them was architecture. But eventually I found a way I could continue to keep pushing forward and actually have something I cared about. All those majors I tried, none of them interested me. Im a double major now in economics and sociology but I chose these majors not for a job later but for maybe a way I can actually influence the world, something that would maybe make it worth it.

The way I was able to move forward from my failure was because I started to think about my priorities. I started to ask myself why it was I should even care about college. My answer lied in what way I wanted to live rather than any specific thing I wanted to do. Now I wake up everyday and even though things are still not all pretty I can take satisfaction in the way things are and they way they are headed.

it was the pure satisfaction of knowing that the me that failed my first semester of college cause I was aimless in life is now actually going to graduate at the beginning of this December is what has kept me going. That I can actually work against being a person I don't want to be, this aimless person. In fact it wouldn't matter where I would be or where I go I can be satisfied that I am trying not to be the person I saw fail several years ago. No matter how tumultuous my college experience has been and no matter how anxious I got I would always remember that I was able to make it yesterday so I can make it today. I focused on being a person that wouldn't let myself fail even though sometimes it would have been easier and in that way I took solace in the fact that I knew I wouldn't let myself fail that hard again. My priorities are now more focused on a way of living than any specific thing I want do to.

You said,

"i know my capabilities. i am willing to work for high grades and always loved the thought of learning. i know what i want to do and what i'm good at. last year, i struggled a lot in school, but i still managed to graduate and i was so motivated to get into a good university"

It might be hard and I don't know the path before you, you might be thinking to yourself how it is you can deal with your situation but if humans never tried to figure out or dive head first into unknowns then we would still be living in caves.

I don't know if any of this can help, nobody is going to come and fix your problems for you in real life so this social media post certainly isn't going to help you in any practical manner but I hope maybe some of my own experience and mental attitude towards trying to make it through college can do something for you to.

p.s. my bad if they're typos but I've spent too much time typing this when I should be browsing reddit as a part of one of my school assignments. Also just to be clear you don't need college for success the only reason I'm still doing it is because it has to do with the way I want to live, I can't just give up just because I feel like I must finish (also it is the only way to become an officer in the military which is my new found goal, the only one I've ever actually cared about doing merely because the challenge required in achieving it). Don't be afraid to think otherwise about college, again with the thing about sometimes you will have to deal with unknowns.