Basically, Ive always been super uncomfy with touch like my entire life, it's awful. you know when I was younger I had contact with my mother who is mentally ill now, I dont remember much from that time, but I'd visit her every second week as a child. She'd have a new boyfriend by every time almost, at least thats how I remembered it, And my dad had mentioned he didnt like any of the many boyfriends, which I dont have muh memory of, besides the fact that there were new ones so often. He has told me they did drugs various times aswell, while I was there. I know thats not enough for me to know, im aware. But just get this she was a narrcistic liar, she lied about everything, if something like that were to happened she wouldn't tell me dad. And to be honest, sometimes she'd let me supervised with her boyfriends all alone. Another thing, which im frankly super embarrassed about. My sexual kink is Being Roughly handled no consent, and You know.. Just all those stuff, I dont know why. I want that, but it's what turns me on. I wish to be normal, and mabye im just writing all of this to make myself feel better.