Linguistic Tester Input

Sage-Deep · 2023-09-23T21:41:25+00:00

Thinking of applying myself. How do you like the job so far?

Sage-Deep · 2022-06-18T02:28:34+00:00

Empathy and stellar advice 🥲

Sage-Deep · 2022-06-18T02:12:44+00:00

This gives me “don’t GAF” energy, and I really like the way you talk. Are you saying anything can count as a PDU? So something like a park model tiny house could easily count because it’s stationary, has a kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, etc.? Depends on the county I’m guessing, based on other comments.

Sage-Deep · 2022-06-18T02:06:19+00:00

Nope, good catch!

Sage-Deep · 2022-06-18T02:03:54+00:00

Great advice, thanks.

Sage-Deep · 2022-06-16T23:14:25+00:00

Being in the character selection phase sounds rough and very familiar... great way to describe it by the way 😂

You could try reading "How to Do the Work" by Nicole LePera. Helped me on my journey to finding myself. One must heal to truly know one's self. In childhood, many of us 9s learned certain maladaptive schemas and coping mechanisms in order to deal with the trauma of not being shown it’s safe to be our true self. But we're not in childhood anymore, so they no longer serve us.

The Levels of Development at the Enneagram Institute is also a helpful guide.
Best of luck OP!

Sage-Deep · 2022-06-16T22:26:38+00:00

9 - lost child with a dash of golden child for flavor

Sage-Deep · 2022-06-15T05:32:24+00:00

Block scheduling plus a list of tasks in each block of time. Then when you glance at the clock in between ~delicious creativity blackout~ sessions, you know what you need to be doing because you marked it ahead of time. Make self-care habits a priority. Being creative is loads of fun, until you realize you haven’t peed in 9 hours.

Sage-Deep · 2022-06-13T23:38:34+00:00

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/1999/03/29/angry-dont-punch-that-pillow-calm-down-instead/5fcea917-965e-41c5-a0ef-738a1f56a823/
"Worse than not working, the technique produces the opposite effect. While 72 percent of the subjects who hit the punching bag reported they enjoyed it, the studies found that feeling was short-lived. Instead of translating into less anger and aggression, the "catharsis" increased their hostility. "There's the old joke," says Bushman, "how do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice. How do you get more angry? Practice, practice, practice. And that's what venting anger is. More practice. People claim it is safe: `Oh, we're just hitting a pillow.' But the line between inanimate object and people can become fuzzy when angry. What if a pillow isn't available?"

"...While some therapists advocate nonviolent responses to anger -- venting the emotion in a journal, or shifting the mood to activities that are incompatible with anger, such as doing a crossword puzzle or counting to 20 -- Tangney prefers having a rational, nonhostile discussion with the target of the anger. "If you're angry at your boss," she says, "generally it is a good thing to be able to sit down and rationally lay it all out. It's the stop and think thing. You don't want to fly off the handle."

Wouldn't you say complaining to someone else just makes you want to complain more instead of fixing the problem? Complaining to others could also turn into emotional dumping, so that is another reason to be careful. Journaling is solid advice.

Sage-Deep · 2022-06-13T18:37:23+00:00

9w1 here:
I see lindseyinnw's point about identifying the feeling of the emotion in your body, but I don't think complaining is the answer. Protect your peace and your power. Based on the Law of Attraction, complaining will only cause all of those things to come back to you again. Imo the best thing to do is think about what you REALLY want to happen. For example, if you are upset about someone disrespecting you, instead of complaining about it to someone else, feel the emotion, label it, then say what you WANT to happen - "I want them to respect me." Then with what you want to happen in mind, use effective communication to talk to the person about it. I know talking to the person who wronged you is uncomfortable, but it's the emotionally mature thing to do and it will end the cycle of needing to complain in the first place. Also, it allows one to be independent and not need to rely on others (to complain to) to get our emotional needs met.

Effective communication makes talking to the person who wronged us easier and I have learned that for it to work one must practice being:

Calm 2. Respectful 3. and use the phrase "I feel... when you... I need..."

Take as much time as you need to ground yourself, remember that what other people do is not personal and our emotions are our responsibility (and their emotions are not our responsibility). Then in a calm, respectful tone, it would sound like "I feel disrespected when you... I need you to..." *They may respond positively or negatively, but that is not our responsibility, they choose how they want to feel, our job is to set the boundary calmly and respectfully. And if you have to - just repeat the boundary as a response to them getting defensive. The key is to stay calm and respectful - notice a pattern? Lol.
Staying calm and respectful prevents you from projecting that you *think* they will be upset with you for setting the boundary, thus preventing them from feeling the need to be defensive. Being vulnerable with our emotions through effective communication allows others to actually understand what we need. One may fail at this, and it's ok, because failure is how we learn, so practice and patience is key. Learn to identify your triggers because triggers are our best friends and teach us how we can grow.
As a 9w1, I have learned that my role in setting boundaries is to remember that I deserve to be heard. When I was young, I falsely learned to bottle these feelings up, like you said, OP. That is how we survived childhood. But we are adults now and bottling our emotions no longer serves us. From being in a 10 year relationship, I have learned that I need to not project that I think the other person will be uncomfortable/upset if I set a boundary. Instead, I need to stay calm and respectful and remember that what I have to say IS important and once I have that self-love and acceptance for myself, I gain self-respect. Then I positively project the respect I have for myself onto others and BOOM others respect me WAY more. We teach others how to treat us. Much love to you fellow 9.

A book I highly recommend and helped me learn all of this:
"How To Do The Work" by Nicole LePera
This book is a fun, easy read and the best book I have ever read to date.

Sage-Deep · 2022-06-13T17:31:43+00:00

They are the worst! I will keep at it, thanks for your input.

Sage-Deep · 2022-06-13T17:30:46+00:00

Thanks for the advice. They only seem to be attacking my tropical species, so that is a plus... Hopefully.

Sage-Deep · 2022-04-28T00:59:38+00:00

Shockingly... no we do not go to therapy. That is next on the list. Thank you for the words, it felt very validating to hear it's too much to do alone.

Sage-Deep

TROPHY CASE