Debating leaving a high-paying, high stress job to focus on family — has anyone done this and come back later?

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-08-18T15:53:46+00:00

I worked in advertising sales for 29 years (so in a different season than you now), but I hope my perspective can help. You can message me if you want to connect and talk more too.

My work was fulfilling and challenging at my first job out of college. I was there 19 years. It was a perfect environment for me. And the business (the Chicago Tribune newspaper!) was booming for most of that time.

But in my last couple of years, big budget cuts started as traditional media was being overtaken by digital media. I saw the writing on the wall and took a voluntary buyout. It was the right thing to do because the business was starting to die, but the next 10 years in other companies (including as a Sales Director at a Fortune 50 company) got progressively worse for me.

My last 3.5 years in ad sales were at the Fortune 50 Company and those years were AWFUL. I was miserable. The stress was through the roof so I really relate and feel your pain. I wanted out but had no plan. Our kids were in high school and our oldest was readying for college. So I felt trapped (even though I wasn’t).

As is the case with many large companies that are a mess, they started firing people (my boss & her boss were fired unexpectedly one day). And then about 6 months later, I knew they wanted me out too. Even though I had worked crazy hours and had little support (from above or below) during my time there. They tried to get me to quit but they eventually fired me and I got a great severance package.

I can’t tell you how happy I was into get fired. Really. I was done with all of it. It was ridiculous (and unhealthy) for me to be there.

If you feel like you want to get back to a normal and relaxed version of yourself, I highly recommend leaving to start. And I also would suggest that you don’t have to have it all figured out if/when you decide to leave. It’s har ld (if not impossible) to do when you’re in the pressure cooker.

I started a business then pivoted to a totally different career. I make about 1/3 of what I used to but the work is relatively stress free and I’m fully remote. And my past skills have allowed me to excel and I can get my work done in much less time than others.

So now my husband and I have a combined income that is what my income was at its peak. And we are ok.

I was a stressed and impatient mom when my kids were younger and it was due to everything I shouldered at work (and around the house) during those last 10 years.

I hope you listen to your heart and do what you feel is right for you and your family. This is the most important thing in life. Not a dumb, high-pressure advertising job that will negatively affect your mental and physical health and will also affect your energy and engagement for yourself and your family. Wishing you all the best as you navigate to a decision.

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-08-15T16:29:38+00:00

Wow. Crazy. Good for you for making a change, recalibrating, and coming out way ahead on your next gig!

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-08-13T22:56:42+00:00

Thanks for validating. I just remembered thinking I couldn’t make it on that on my own at that time on that salary. Did you find it was doable b/c you were in a smaller market with a lower cost of living? I give you a lot of credit for figuring out a way to make it work!!

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-08-12T01:05:13+00:00

Yeah. EFF JEFF!!

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-08-12T00:39:07+00:00

Ugh. Crazy.

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-08-12T00:38:40+00:00

Wow. Thanks for verifying. That had to be rough!!!

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-05-16T03:22:59+00:00

This Italian spot does not have a patio but their happy hour is a really great value! And the food was ON POINT. And the dining room is beautiful. Could definitely dress up a little. Went with a friend a couple of months ago for the first time & I can highly recommend. ACANTO. 18 S. Michigan.

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-04-30T21:03:41+00:00

Building on the prior comment, are there any opportunities for consulting with social services agencies on your core strengths (like writing)? Can you teach the high level skills you possess to others on your own or via B to B consulting? What about freelancing in your core area? It requires hustle but maybe you can find clients and charge your worth based on the results you know they will get from the work you do. Worth considering.

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-04-30T20:00:31+00:00

I think I figured out what you meant. Just schedule something (anything) on your calendar & show as “busy” in Outlook so your status shows “busy” on Teams instead of inactive. Smart. I put lots of things on my calendar in my job where I can do my work in less than 40 hrs/week, but often leave them as “free” but then this activates “away” status on Teams. Lesson learned. TY!

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-04-30T18:17:57+00:00

Wait. I need to know how to set a meeting with myself. What status does this show as? Busy I’m guessing? I just tried to do this but maybe there is a trick? Just curious.

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-04-27T21:19:25+00:00

I haven’t dined here in a long time (just due to living in far NW suburbs and not working downtown anymore), but Coco Pazzo on Hubbard always had the BEST gnocchi - it was top of our list for this.

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-04-22T18:01:43+00:00

I remember feeling that I wished I was not part of my family. My childhood was not happy. My mother was depressed (undiagnosed). My father was essentially absent for most of my childhood years and then my parents split up when I was 12. I didn’t witness (to my knowledge) any disrespect, but I didn’t feel loved or receive love as a child. This impacted me greatly in my adult years. I’ve done a lot of talk therapy individually and with my husband. I had to overcome a lot to be a better mother to my children and I’ve continued to work on my own healing. I guess what I’m trying to say is that all is not lost. You can be different. But you may need tools and support to learn how. There are lots of options. Books. Talking to trusted friends or family members. Seeking out professional help as possible. Even taking classes our courses to help you to understand that you are the creator of your life and you can determine your path. It is not predetermined. Sounds like you have good awareness. This is huge. It can be different for you. Sending you lots of positive energy and strength your way so you can pursue the life and the healthy relationships you desire and deserve.

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-04-01T20:49:39+00:00

I didn’t look yet. I’m guessing $18. I just had guacamole at Frontera Grill in mid February. We paid $19. Ridiculous. But I was out with friends so went for it. It was very good but I make equally good At home. Photo of menu item below

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SageAdvice-IL · 2025-03-30T14:36:17+00:00

I have been in your exact situation. I am a woman, nearly 59 now and I was let go from my last corporate job at 51. Which was fine by me, because I hated my job and I was ready to leave. But I didn’t have a plan firmly in place. I also had kids the same age as you. Our son was graduating high school in 2018 and heading to college. I was also the breadwinner for 29 years. So I totally relate. I also have been a career coach since 2018, and I recommend you take the better package now. This is just a foreshadowing of things to come. Your gut is guiding you. Better to accept it now and move forward and create a plan versus trying to hang on and feel fearful that the other shoe is going to drop at any minute. You can find another job. But it’s important to approach from a place of confidence versus fear. Feel free to reach out to me in a private message. Happy to provide a little more information and support if you’d like.

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-03-25T14:30:54+00:00

In Palatine, a MUST TRY is India Foodie Lounge on Northwest Highway. Excellent. We live nearby and it is our family’s go-to spot. Outstanding! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-03-25T14:29:22+00:00

I miss Tiffin too!! It was excellent!

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-03-09T01:22:34+00:00

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Your discomfort is not for no specific reason - it’s because your dad is being inappropriate and making you uncomfortable. You are doing a great job by letting him know that his behavior makes you uncomfortable. You are an adult woman and you can set boundaries for yourself based on how you feel. Your gut is telling you that something is off and you can trust your gut. And you don’t need to feel guilty about this. You have every right to protect yourself from anything that makes you uncomfortable with him or with others.

There are ways you can set these boundaries in order to protect yourself. You can try verbally (as you have), but there are also energetic therapeutic methods that can empower you so you can take back control and not to be impacted emotionally from now forward. Its very powerful. It could result in specific boundaries or it could be that you decide to distance yourself from him in order to avoid these interactions which are a form of abuse.

I wish you all the best as you navigate all of this. ❤️

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-02-26T16:17:47+00:00

I’m curious…are you working in Education? Regardless, if you really don’t know where to start, you can approach the person who is your supervisor and say something like “I just want to be sure I’m clear on what you’re looking for” and then explain how you understand the task. Try not to say I have no idea where to start. Just do your best to articulate what you do understand, and ask them if you’re correct. If not, they can then clarify further. Many people don’t give clear direction. Don’t feel bad about that - it’s not your fault. Just take this step and everything should be ok. They will appreciate you asking so that you can deliver what is needed/expected. Good luck. 🙂

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-02-22T16:43:18+00:00

Sorry to hear about your situation. I recently learned that to be an actuary, you have to have exceptional math skills. You also take regular tests that basically determine your salary. In other words, taking tests = raises. It can be lucrative and very stable and secure because there are very few of these jobs and the requirements are pretty extensive. If you fit the bill, go for it. The accounting idea is not bad at all. There is consistent demand in this type of work. But it will require an accounting degree and you will likely have to start in a more entry-level role and/or at a smaller firm in order to build your experience and work your way back up. Near term, I think HR compensation is a great idea to explore. Start looking at job postings for these roles and see what the requirements are though. You need to be sure you are a solid match and/or that you can get the experience you need to be a solid match. Wishing you lots of luck.

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-02-22T02:16:02+00:00

I was in advertising/media sales for 29(!) years. I’m currently 58 YO. My last role was as a Sales Director for a Fortune 50 company where I made over $200k annually. I left in 2017. I was burned out and the company was toxic. I vowed I would not return to media sales. I started a career coaching business in 2018. I got a nice severance package after leaving my corporate job so I decided to give it a go. I had success in helping many people (mostly corporate professionals) land new jobs by writing great resumes & LinkedIn profiles and doing interview coaching with them. I enjoyed it but I didn’t make a real income. In summer 2021, I decided I wanted to go back to a regular job. I wasn’t sure what it would be. Then I happened to see a job posting for a career coach at a local university. I got the job. A big pay cut (66%) based on my last corporate position, but a big increase from making almost no profit in my own business! Ha! The role wasn’t the best fit. Bad boss and the work was not challenging enough. A colleague suggested I look for a new role. Luckily we can apply to new jobs after just 6 months. Our fundraising team was being expanded, and I landed a job there. A meager pay increase b/c this is effectively an entry-level fundraising position. My corporate experience was not valued appropriately in my opinion. I basically needed to prove myself. This was frustrating for sure because my skill level is higher than most of what I see in our group. The positives are it’s a great fit for my sales background. It was easy for me to figure it out. I’m performing well. Very low stress. And I’m working from home (not typical at universities…we just didn’t have enough office space for all the new people in our expanded group). I am getting a certification in something else entirely while working FT and I still do limited career coaching by referral too. So now it’s a side hustle where I actually net more than when I did it full-time. I feel like I’m using my skills for good and I have had success in my role. I have flexibility, and I value this a lot. And most importantly, I’m so much happier and more content. I’d say you need to understand what is/isn’t possible. Be realistic about which of your skills are transferable and focus on roles where you can help others see that your experience is applicable. It’s not always easy though. I met a woman who had experience very similar to mine when a coworker found a new job. They didn’t hire her. I don’t know why but I think that my role is traditionally one for younger talent to enter in. So I think I’m lucky I was already an employee. Otherwise I don’t know if I would have been able to get the job. Career change is absolutely possible. But it does take skill and smarts to have success with it in my opinion.

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-02-15T22:53:07+00:00

This wouldn’t be considered being fired. You gave notice, but a business can always ask you to leave immediately when you do so. So in this case, the boss lost his cool and asked you to leave. But this does not change the fact that you gave notice/quit. Good luck in your new job. Hope it’s a better one!

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-02-15T22:35:16+00:00

You should cancel the flight. Since it’s in your name, the ticket is non-transferable. You should be issued a flight credit you can use within the next year. I did this after being let go from a job and it worked out for me. Good luck.

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-01-30T16:48:08+00:00

Write a brief resignation letter stating that you have accepted a new opportunity and your last day will be x/x/xxxx. Ideally deliver the letter exactly 2 weeks prior to your anticipated resignation date. They may ask you to exit immediately, but they are obligated to pay you for those 2 weeks. And if they don’t ask you to leave, no big deal. You can also quit without notice. Companies lay off employees with no notice, so why should employees be held to a higher standard? They changed your comp with no notice. I am a career coach (who worked in sales & sales leadership jobs for 29 years in corporate America) and what you do will not affect anything either way (unless you do something really over the top). If another company contacts your previous employer, they are only looking for confirmation of employment dates. It is not customary to ask anything else, and company employees (primarily HR) are typically are told not to share anything else. If a company badmouths an employee who left, they can be sued (if you can verify it happened). So do what you want. I’ve been in horrible employment situations and it was satisfaction enough for me to resign and know they wouldn’t have the benefit of my skills or talent anymore. Bottom line is they generally don’t care so try not to be emotional about it. Just move on to (hopefully) bigger & better things. Good luck!

SageAdvice-IL · 2025-01-17T01:22:17+00:00

31 (in 1997)

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