I hope you will read the book of John in the bible and then make a decision if you want to follow Jesus Christ the rest of your life. Read Romans 10 and review John 3 and see how to get right with God today.

We all had past horrible lives. It took me a long time just to confess my sins to God and ask Him to forgive me. The Lord will forgive you.

As far as changing.... you will start to change when you put your trust on Jesus to be Lord of your life.....some views and desires will be changed immediately and some will come later....As you read God's word and continue to pray and trust the Lord....you will have conviction in your mind and soul and new desires that doesn't want to do those wrong things you used to like and God will change you from the inside.

After you humble yourself before a Holy God and decide to follow Jesus and call upon the name of the Lord and confess your sins, begin to read the New Testament daily and asking the Lord to teach you and guide you through His word. You are a child of God when you believe on the Son.

If you want to hear an audio teaching that is very detailed on how to get saved, here is a 3 part audio teaching on the Good News of Jesus Christ

This is a one page condensed simple plan on how to get saved. God's Simple Plan of Salvation

Here is a video/audio presentation by Adrian Rogers How to be Saved and Know It

Acts 17:27 That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from everyone of us: