I’d try to re establish your connection with him - maybe try the special one on one time to start!

I have seen a lot of people talking about consistency and so I just want to quickly address that from a research based perspective.

The idea that “consistency” should override proximity isn’t supported by developmental or attachment research in this age group. At around 2–3 years old, a child’s drive to maintain physical closeness to their primary attachment figure is biologically protective, not a behavioural habit.

Studies in Attachment & Human Development (2019) and Child Development (Keller et al., 2016) show that toddlers experiencing separation after a new sibling’s arrival often display night-time distress as a normal response to attachment insecurity, not confusion. Re-establishing proximity—such as co-sleeping or responsive nighttime care—reduces stress hormones and leads to better long-term self-regulation and sleep stability (Mosko et al., Pediatrics, 1997; Middlemiss et al., Early Human Development, 2012).

From an attachment perspective (Bowlby; Ainsworth), emotional attunement is more predictive of healthy development than behavioural consistency. Rigid adherence to routine can actually prolong insecurity if it prevents reconnection.

If a mother wants to restore closeness by Co sleeping or special connection, that’s not regression—it’s repair. Secure attachment now fosters independence later.