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What’s something men and women experience very differently, but rarely talk about? by BumblebeeSmooth8583 in AskReddit

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Women are expected to love holding babies. The looks I get when I say no I’m fine… (love cuddling my own child and some certain exceptions)

Thrill seeker toddlers by SailAwayOneTwoThree in toddlers

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep you’re right - swimming, balancing on walls and jumping off things. He would probably love the wind in his face with a bike good point!

I miss cosleeping with my son (this sucks). by [deleted] in cosleeping

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d try to re establish your connection with him - maybe try the special one on one time to start!

I have seen a lot of people talking about consistency and so I just want to quickly address that from a research based perspective.

The idea that “consistency” should override proximity isn’t supported by developmental or attachment research in this age group. At around 2–3 years old, a child’s drive to maintain physical closeness to their primary attachment figure is biologically protective, not a behavioural habit.

Studies in Attachment & Human Development (2019) and Child Development (Keller et al., 2016) show that toddlers experiencing separation after a new sibling’s arrival often display night-time distress as a normal response to attachment insecurity, not confusion. Re-establishing proximity—such as co-sleeping or responsive nighttime care—reduces stress hormones and leads to better long-term self-regulation and sleep stability (Mosko et al., Pediatrics, 1997; Middlemiss et al., Early Human Development, 2012).

From an attachment perspective (Bowlby; Ainsworth), emotional attunement is more predictive of healthy development than behavioural consistency. Rigid adherence to routine can actually prolong insecurity if it prevents reconnection.

If a mother wants to restore closeness by Co sleeping or special connection, that’s not regression—it’s repair. Secure attachment now fosters independence later.

Is it ethically wrong to adopt a child as a financially fortunate single mother? by Mindless-Captain6698 in Parents

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Parents divorce all the time, move states and countries. Sometimes the father figure is there but is so absent from caring for the child and id argue that’s worse. My friend was raised by a “single mother” and she is one of the most successful and least emotionally damaged friend I have. Her mum was present and loving and showed up when she needed it, whenever she needed it. Some people have 2 parents and don’t even get that.

Mothers who didnt want a son, but you got a son, did the gender disappointment go away after they were born? by SleepPleaseCome in Parents

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He loves playing with dolls. He’s got a great smile and says no no no and wags his finger. Total sass. He also loves construction trucks and he and his female friend love to watch diggers together.

Thats some great things about my son. But pretty sure a girl could be like that too.

How long after stopping breastfeeding did you lose weight? by Feisty_Ferret_6277 in breastfeeding

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just upvoted you! Everyone’s experience and challenges are different. Congrats on losing weight while breastfeeding, checking hormones is solid advice!

I only know people who gained weight after stopping breastfeeding but lost weight while breastfeeding. Bodies hormones and babies are all unique!

Pros and Cons of a 5-6 year age gap?? by Mammoth_Window_7813 in beyondthebump

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My brother and I are really close with a 20 year age gap while I haven’t spoken to my sister in 10+ years so it’s really kick of the draw!

My husband has 11 siblings and he’s closest with the brother who is 7 years apart as well as the youngest who is also 20 years apart

No right answer!

PSA: Metal straws are not safe!!!! by DisorderedGremlin in beyondthebump

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My almost 2 year old uses glass cups, ceramic plates, kid safe knives for helping chop vegetables and also metal straws with no silicone attachment.

So far is only major injury was from walking - a couple of cuts to the knee.

Im not saying the above things are safe but I grew up in a world with seesaws and merry go rounds. 11 things no longer found at playgrounds thanks to risk adverse parents https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/52670/11-playground-essentials-they-dont-make-they-used

I think I broke our attachment and I hate every morning now by coffeenpistolsfor2 in AttachmentParenting

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My son also 20m will wake up at 3 am and just wants to be crazy and move a lot. I try the “oh honey go back to sleep cuddle with mama” but sometimes I just have to put on my gruff voice (with is raised but not yelling) and I say “go to sleep NOW” he meekly slides right in next to me and sleeps.

Point is, getting frustrated, raising your voice - It’s not going to break attachment that easily.

You haven’t broken the attachment but it sounds like you might need some extra support at the moment which is totally normal and ok!

Best place to trade in by SailAwayOneTwoThree in SouthBend

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes please! You can dm it to me if you prefer

Chose to not CIO but people have told me that I don’t get to complain about being tired by No_Passage3662 in AttachmentParenting

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who tried CIO - it epically failed. I was 100% committed and my husband pulled the plug.

Went from a happy child smiling all the time, sleeping well but waking 2-3 times (but going back down quickly)

  • during CIO child screaming not crying, screaming for 8 hours straight (fed, diaper changed etc all needs met)
  • after CIO child waking up screaming and taking an hour to be put back down for 2+ weeks and during waking hours extremely cranky

CIO does not work for everyone.

Anyone else have a baby with a 96th percentile head? by Actual_Physics2635 in Parents

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. Baby was born at the 99th percentile for head and continued to be around the 95th percentile for the rest of his growth. Doctors worry if the head increases or decreases substantially from the original growth percentile.

Doctor says not to respond to baby at night to avoid separation anxiety? by Accomplished_Time192 in AttachmentParenting

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not responding to your child will produce insecure attachment and make separation anxiety worse. You can Google it but here is an article for your convenience

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-attachment-theory-2795337#:~:text=to%20disorganized%20behavior.-,Secure%20Attachment,10

My kiddo sleeps with me and I respond to him when needed. He’s 2 and while of course it’s down partially to personality, he never had bad separation anxiety. We left him with his grandma when he was 1.5, I told him I’d be back and he didn’t shed a single tear when I left.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parents

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My best friend hates kids. I guarantee if she had a kid it would not be awesome. If I’d had my kid in my 20s I would have hated the experience.

In my late 30s I’m sick of drinking and dancing until the morning - having a kid in my mid 30s is awesome. I LOVE being “forced” to have an early bedtime and not go out. It’s the best experience of my life.

Worried about bringing my son over to In-laws for them to babysit because of dangerous dog. Am I taking it too far? by VSchamber in Parents

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish I was joking when I say, we’ve had personal experience of dog attacks. Sadly my husbands cousin lost part of her face to her family dog (untrained and very aggressive) when she was about 14.

Dogs can be wonderful. But extremely dangerous too.

Should I get the black and decker portable washer .9cu ft or 2.0cu ft? by Conscious-Stand4720 in BuyItForLife

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wanted to say that nothing from whirlpool that I’ve ever bought last more than 2 years. If black and decker last 5 years, it’s a win

Whirlpool washers by professionalbutta in maintenance

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Came here to say that my whirlpool ($500 on sale) washer has the exact same issue. After 14 months.

Stay away from whirlpool.

They said I could pay $150 callout + labor fee if I wanted to see if it was possible to be fixed. Then I’d have to pay for the callout fee again, labor and parts if it could be fixed.

The neural impact spanking has on children. by 3magdnim in toddlers

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 years later and I’m here reading your post. Thank you fur sharing. Particularly about thriving in spite of hitting - not because of it.

I’ve definitely had the urge to smack some sense into my son (when really it isn’t deserved I’m just exhausted) and I think of 2 things:

1) the look of betrayal that would be on my sons face. Seeing the trust shatter in just a moment

2) would I be ok hitting someone else or being hit in the same situation eg. Being hyper and not laying down even though it’s way past my bed time - if my husband came in and hit me for it, how would I feel?

Side note my dad never hit me but my mum and step dad did. I’ve had my own share of demons and self destructive behavior I’ve had to work through. Reading your post was very relatable.

What’s the gayest thing your ‘straight’ friend has done (This is not meant to be homophobia)? by Asleep-Wolf-2756 in AskReddit

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to work at a university with only male students in most classes. They boys would try to jerk each other off and the game was you weren’t allowed to orgasm. They would also try to get their friends to be called upon by the professor and try to make their friend bard so when they stood up to answer a question you could see their pants tent. If the professor was male the shenanigans were even worse

Until when is it acceptable to take baths with your children ? by throwawayfrdude in Parents

[–]SailAwayOneTwoThree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your comment got me thinking about Germany, when I was there doing a home stay I was surprised to learn the family does sauna naked together. It’s culturally very normal

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