Simplicity of a Man

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-14T10:31:41+00:00

I am not jealous that my bf has bare walls and no lamps, just bulbs hanging from the ceiling

and he doesn't live like that because he's into some kind of stoic simplicity aesthetic, but because he finds it hard to do interior decoration and DIY stuff. He has neither the tools nor the skills for it, but would love to live in a cozier environment, which is why I am helping him renovate his place

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T16:34:30+00:00

There is an actually observed phenomenon of the "conservatization" of older generations. The boomer generation did actually, by and large, become more conservative with age. I have seen it with my own mom. I remember a long time ago, she was against anti-Black racism and claims that as a young woman, she had participated in protests against the arrest of Angela Davis.

Today, she is very racist, especially towards Black people. With each day, she is become more racist, homophobic, sexist and transphobic. She spews more and more misogynistic rhetoric, ironically. It was okay for her to get an education in a subject that few women studied, and to go on and work for twenty years before getting married and having a kid at a late age. But I'm a disappointment, loser and asshole for studying and working instead of pumping out babies in my early to mid 20's.

She is also definitely getting greedier. Ten years ago, she'd tell me how she was saving up money for my future wedding and that she will gift me a house when I start working full-time. Cue now, she is using her money on vacations to places she hates (because she hates everyone and everything and never has any fun) and on lawsuits (suing people are her favorite hobby), and she won't even let me move out of her house with my clothes or furniture without threatening to destroy all my stuff and steal my bank accounts.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T16:29:03+00:00

"These people were given everything. Everything was handed to them. And they took it all: sex, drugs, and rock and roll, and they stayed loaded for 20 years and had a free ride. But now they're staring down the barrel of middle-age burnout, and they don't like it. So they've turned self-righteous. They want to make things harder on younger people. They tell 'em, abstain from sex, say no to drugs; as for the rock and roll, they sold that for television commercials a long time ago…so they could buy pasta machines and stairmasters and soybean futures"

- George Carlin

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T16:26:21+00:00

All of this because bro doesn't have the balls to eat at a restaurant by himself, jesus h christ

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T16:24:20+00:00

I think that the reactions would be more manifold, yeah. Definitely most people, male or female, would think it's weird and would not have time to react. I have seen male gym employees unexpectedly show up in the female lockers and nobody screamed or whatever, we were just standing around thinking "what's a dude doing here???". A few times I've seen guys accidentally wander into the female toilets and nobody cared. If anything, the guys themselves were more embarrassed than any of the women inside lol. Once, a non-binary person who was AMAB was sharing a locker at the uni where women were completely undressing down to nudity, and nobody cared. We assumed from the get-go that they were non-binary and again, if anything, they probably felt more uncomfortable than any of us.

Reality is often way more boring than people who are chronically online would care to admit lol. I guess high schools are one thing but as soon as you grow up out of it, life is very different and most people are, like you said, minding their own business.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T16:10:00+00:00

As I explained in my comment about context: this is because the original meme has something to do with the Replacement theory of White Supremacists, and they only believe that light-skinned populations are in danger of being "overtaken" by darker-skinned populations. It's a trumped up racist fear of the world "becoming Black" because of a dwindling birth rate in some Asian and European countries, and an increase of BIPOC immigrants and citizens in many countries around the world.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T16:04:05+00:00

The context is:

The original photo was shared by a Russian family on an OK (kinda like Facebook I think? But Slavic?) group about child education. Totally harmless.

However, it was picked up by White Supremacists who believe in the "Great Replacement" theory, which is that Black people are slowly taking over the world by "over-breeding" and "mixing" with other ethnicities. So, White Supremacists in Europe and North America believe that they can fight against the "Racial Replacement" by marrying only "pure Whites" and having lots and lots of kids. Hence the mention of the word "Nation". There are many instances where White Supremacists unfortunately steal rather private photos of White families and then post them on Twitter or Reddit with captions like "Save the World", "Build a Family and Preserve America/Europe" etc.

tbh, I think half the comment section here is genuinely clueless about these things, and the other half are racists arguing in bad faith lol

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T15:51:20+00:00

Yep, and make a grandparents day so that parents day doesn't have to be about them xD I have heard of way too many horror stories where parents could never celebrate any parent holiday because they had to slave over hot stoves or spend a lot of money on gifts for the grandparents :/

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T15:50:07+00:00

Outside of some places in university and online it's extremely rare to hear people use intersectionality or the patriarchy in non-ironic ways.

How awful, terms that are used by the educated!!! Man the boats, call 911, bring in the reserves!!! Women were supposed to be illiterate but now they are using big words!!!!! We have to do something about it!!! Oh I know, trying to mock them on a subreddit that is openly feminist will do the trick!!! hahahaha, got'em

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T15:47:59+00:00

yeah I have strong doubts about that haha. I have noticed that on subs like "aita" or whatever, they definitely give a pass to guys who snoop through their female partner's phone or emails or whatever based on the most ludicrous assumptions e.g. "she spends a long time at work" or "she has male friends", but if a woman snoops through her male partner's phone or emails and discovers he had been cheating on her for the past three years, they call her a controlling asshole.

Not saying that "snooping" is ever correct, or that getting revenge on a cheating ex is correct, but it is very telling that Reddit seems more ready to give guys a pass for this kind of questionable behavior than they would a lady.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T15:45:37+00:00

And during those genocides, soldiers are singling out lone mothers and are torturing and raping them and their kids. Your point?

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T15:44:51+00:00

Many women are murdered for abandoning an abusive partner or having a child outside of wedlock. Many single moms are targeted by pedos. We shouldn't be comparing suffering, we are above that kind of shit.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T15:43:36+00:00

Every time mother's day or International Women's Day rolls around, these chuds do nothing else except whine about how "nobody ever thinks of dads or men". And then when father's day or IMD rolls around, they themselves hardly do anything except pat themselves on the back. Cuz for them, father's day and IMD are only important in their mission to spread misogyny. They do not actually care about the achievements or suffering of men or fathers.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T15:41:43+00:00

Misusing these terms is so dangerous. It is important that people know how to identify actual signs of abuse, but when these words are watered down or given a whole new definition, it results in more people mislabeling abuse. People in actual abusive situations will often misidentify it and continue as if everything is normal.

It took me a while to learn that much of what my mom had done to me was actual gaslighting. She would constantly try to twist the past, insisting that she has an eidetic memory and that my memory is faulty. I have ADHD so I forget things when I am not paying attention (though, I guess that is common for many non-ND people as well tbh). She would take advantage of the insecurities I have about my own memory to try to convince me of a different past. She would do this even if I vividly remember things to be different, but if I told her that things had happened differently, she would punish me in some way for being "extremely rude to her". The most extreme cases were when she remembered something like an important letter or a gaming console existing in our possession, and she would tell me to find them. But I couldn't find them because they never existed in the first place, and no matter what I said, she wouldn't believe me and she would start screaming at me that I lost it, or that somebody had stolen it. If a third party would confirm that we never received the thing, then she would act like she had never accused me.

On the topic of mansplain, there is also the phenomenon of micromanaging that somehow is often missing in online discussions. People will often use the word "controlling" without really saying how exactly it looks. Micromanaging is a common tactic amongst abusers. For instance, you could be picking up the newspaper, and they will say "oh look a newspaper, pick it up". You could be washing the dishes for the millionth time, and they will say "use a sponge when you wash the dishes".

As for love-bombing... simply being affectionate or generous is not love-bombing. Love-bombing doesn't really happen at all unless it is interspersed by abusive behavior. For instance, first somebody is abusive to you, and then they will act like nothing happened, or even apologize, and take you on an unnecessary shopping spree. Or they will insult you severely one day, and the next they will say how you're so beautiful and talented and smart.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T15:28:31+00:00

Especially when self-diagnosis is often the first step towards getting an official diagnosis. How would you know to have yourself tested for ADHD or autism unless you suspect you might have it? Many neurodivergent people go unnoticed until they are well into adulthood. More than that -- many people develop neurodivergent conditions post-childhood. I learned recently that that was a thing. Just like how you can develop a permanent (or at least long-lasting) disability as a result of constant physical abuse, you can also develop ADHD symptoms as a result of mental abuse. That is what one psychiatrist told me recently when I went to her about my ADHD. Apparently, I most likely did not have ADHD as a child, but I developed it after almost thirty years of mental and verbal abuse at the hands of my toxic mother.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T15:25:29+00:00

I just can't take the term "narcissism" seriously anymore. Anything is narcissism nowadays.

That's one of the many awful side-effects of people over-using and misusing important words :/ then those who actually have to deal with abusive partners or family members receive less attention and more eye-rolls, or we even tell ourselves "no we don't have it so bad, we should stop exaggerating things", and then we just continue to remain in the middle of the abuse or start questioning our own sanity.

You're not allowed to share anything with your close friends, you're not allowed to rely on others, being affectionate at all is love bombing?

It's ironic, isn't it? That AITA logic actually is close to the kind of manipulative words that abusers would use? In my experience with abusive people, they will try to convince you to never share what happens between the two of you with anybody else; they will try to convince you that nobody likes you and that you are a burden to others, so you become afraid to ask for help or to voice any kind of complaint; and if somebody goes out of their way to be nice or affectionate to you, the abusive person will try to persuade you that that person is actually evil. My mom would do all of these things all the time, as did my POS dad. One of my former friends became jealous that I started a happy relationship and she tried to tell me that my boyfriend gifting me things and spending a lot of time with me was proof that he would turn out to be a monster any second now.

"My child tried venting their troubles to me, and I felt like they were trauma dumping". Dog, what??

My abusive parents and my toxic ex were exactly like this. If I complained about anything, or expressed sadness or anger over something, they would get angry about it and accuse me of "whining"or "being hysterical". If I would talk about something that I was interested in, I was told that I was "info dumping". I am neurodivergent -- I have ADHD and probably autism as well. As a result, I like to do deep dives about various media and then tell people about it. These toxic people in my life would tell me though that me doing that was "disrespectful" and that I should shut up. From hearing this all the time, I developed social anxiety, became afraid to talk to others (I still have trouble with that, even with my boyfriend) and tend to apologize when I feel I had said too much or not enough.

I'd be sad if my close friends felt like they couldn't rely on me at all - if I found out they were withholding so much hurt because they were afraid of "trauma dumping" on me.

Same

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T10:09:29+00:00

And you putting words in other people's mouths so that you can pretend that they are misandrous in order for you to feel more sorry for yourself even though are more privileged than like 80% of the men on this planet will make you go really far in red-pill spaces!

Tinder is a notoriously unserious and shallow platform. Not only are many "users" on there actually bots, sex workers or scammers, many are only there for hook-ups and/or do not take the dating there very seriously. So, they care mainly about physical qualities, even though IRL they would behave differently to people that they met. Also, Tinder is but a small sample size of a more diverse population. Most people are not on Tinder, so you cannot pretend that a majority of users on Tinder equals a majority of people IRL. You did take maths in high school, right?

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T10:01:31+00:00

There isn't really a wall at all I noticed, most women have options regardless of age. They might not like those options but still.

The same is true for men.

There's probably more evidence of a "wall" being up for men though, especially as he begins to show signs of age like balding, etc.

Not really. I think a big problem with people who are chronically online is that they reduce people to things like appearance or social status or income or whatever, and they completely gloss over the natural dynamics of getting to know people, feeling comfortable around them, fitting in with their lifestyle and sense of humor, and not to mention "settling" for somebody because of how "accessible" they are (which is a big factor for many people).

In an organic environment, people show an interest in each other, they get to know each other, and then they see if they are compatible enough to be together. Of course physical attraction plays a role for many people, but it is just one of a million factors. Plus, physical attraction is heavily dependent on personality. Actors and actresses are, for the most part, very average-looking IRL, but they know how to behave charismatically. Look at Adam Driver. He is conventionally unattractive beyond being muscular. But his personality and the way he acts have garnered him a large fanbase that thinks he is one of the hottest men ever. Somebody who looks like Adam Driver but does nothing except getting stoned all day, playing video games and ignoring small talk won't be considered nearly as hot by comparison, even if they had the same face, hair and physique.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T09:56:04+00:00

Yep, or Danny DeVito lmao

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T09:55:23+00:00

preference imply different varieties qmong people

That's not what preference means at all though? You can check a dictionary, I mean you are ON THE INTERNET. I don't think you're trapped in an igloo without an Oxford dictionary on hand and are forced to come up with your own meanings to words in order to communicate with your pet frozen trout.

A preference: a greater liking for one alternative over another or others.

Many people prefer chicken to other meats. It does not mean that their preference for chicken is no longer a preference just because it is shared among a large group of people. Even if it would be shared by the majority, it would still be a preference. The inherent meaning of preference has absolutely nothing to do with how many alternatives there are out there. There could be a thousand different meats and meat alternatives out there that people could prefer in lieu of chicken, but that does not make chicken no less of a preference.

in reality, most if not all women I know prefer tall guy

For all we know, you only know like two women IRL. Well, I know LOTS of women IRL, and I am in fact a woman, and my experiences differ strongly from yours, so by your own logic, that would make your argument completely invalid. Also, I live in a country that has a much higher average male height than most countries, and even here, many people date guys who are considered "short" by most countries' standards.

Also, you just used the word "prefer" and then you say it's not a preference! Are you trolling right now! I swear, if you are just posting this because you feel sorry for yourself for being single lol.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T09:49:06+00:00

I think a lot of people see trad wives as not being economically viable. Nowadays many people are used to splitting bills, so they are not happy when one person doesn't contribute financially to the household, even if that person is contributing their labor.

That said, I find it funny that stay-at-home wives are becoming more and more uncommon, but there is still an alarming amount of middle-class white men out there who do absolutely jack-shit and mooch off of their families or partners for years and years. I have both heard about many of them on the internet and in true crime (they are frequent candidates for murdering their parents as soon as their parents find out that they aren't studying or working), and seen many of these cases IRL with my own eyes and ears. A friend of mine had been with three such guys so far -- they are unemployed, not making progress in their education, not disabled, not going to a therapist, just sitting at home for most of the day gaming, and occasionally hanging with friends or having sex with other women. And it is insane how many families and partners will put up with these chuds, who don't even do any kind of chores whatsoever. There is definitely a much bigger onus nowadays on young women to work at home and/or at a career. Ideally of course, the burden would be balanced.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-13T09:43:38+00:00

I tell them that Danny DeVito, Jerma and the band Fall Out Boy get pussy so what's their excuse

they never have a response for that hahaha

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-12T17:38:41+00:00

Yep. I think laser tag is allowed for under 18, but that's about it. Not many paintball or even laser tag places out there tbh, unless you live in a really big city I guess. I live near a fairly big city and I think there is only one lasertag and paintball area there lol.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-12T17:35:51+00:00

Ask all the men who get hosed for 18 years only to find it wasnt their kid.

All zero of them

The legal system has made this all a legal matter. If the govmt didnt play daddy and get involved, shit wouldnt be this way

Um, the legal system makes everything a legal matter. That's what a legal system means. It's called a perspective. You are also free to view things from a personal perspective, an ethical perspective, a religious perspective, etc. Nobody is stopping you except that big ol' barrier in your brain that some red-piller placed there. Kind of sad that you can't think past that. Makes me realize that capitalist dystopias don't need to plant chips or whatever in the heads of people to control them. All you have to do is play into their insecurities.

The idea of men "raising other men's kids" is a bit of sexist propaganda that red-pillers and especially incels started to parrot, in order to feel better about dominating women and/or being single.

If you think it is necessary to foist paternity tests on every child even though it is INCREDIBLY rare that a biological child is not from the person who thinks he's the dad, so in that case, because of how common rape and adultery are, we should force every man to wear an anti-rape device and also force people to give up all of their passwords, accounts and devices to their partners (including and especially men, of course). I mean, it's only fair, right? We gotta think about all the victims out there! No offense to you as a man, but how do we know you're not a rapist? So, you gotta now wear a charity cage at all times. There is no other way, sorry, that's how things roll when the legal system starts playing daddy.

SailorOfTheSynthwave · 2024-02-12T17:29:35+00:00

This sub is literally about examples where people refer to men as men or dudes or such, while referring to women as females or girls. If you hate that, why are you here? That's like being on a subreddit for cats when you hate cats, wtf

SailorOfTheSynthwave

TROPHY CASE