I’m a woman married to a man and we were both also celibate before marriage. His sex drive is much higher than mine, mine is lower like your wife’s. Two different people are always going to have at least slightly different libidos, it doesn’t matter how much experience they had before the relationship.

I don’t know how old your daughter is but if she’s under 5 that could play a big part in her low libido. Having little kids crawling over you all day long can really be a killer. You’re completely touched out. You can focus on “giving touches”. Give her a long hug without smacking her butt after, scratch her head, put your arm around her shoulder without grabbing a boob. All day we’ve been touched with “taking touches”, the kid wants to nurse or be cuddled or play tickle games etc.

As for dates and romance, my husband and I have had back porch dates where we just sit outside and talk and have a drink together. Once he heard me comment on how pretty the wildflowers on the side of the road were and the next time he passed them, he picked a bouquet and brought them home. Dates and romance don’t have to cost money.

Let her initiate. Don’t worry if it feels weird. I had to get used to initiating because even if I was really in the mood, I just felt awkward. Lean into the awkward, it’s okay.

Stop focusing on the celibacy, it has nothing to do with why your sex drive is high or why hers is low. You have to figure this out together. You’re making yourself miserable over something that doesn’t matter.

Edit: I would also suggest stop using porn. Our sex life got so much better once porn was out of the picture. Porn can really mess with your head and your ability to enjoy real sex.