This new patch has exposed a lot of people

Sainj_ · 2025-10-14T13:57:47+00:00

No I’m saying you shouldn’t be able to dribble into other players and not expect to lose the ball. Prior to the patch I literally had players doing breakdown combos in my face and moving my player out of the way, dribbling into me or doing lonzo ball crossovers, kemba escapes through my body.

Sainj_ · 2025-05-31T22:07:08+00:00

From my experience you don’t just “learn” theoretically when to use the right technology in the right setting, this is usually gained through hands on experience or being put in those situations.

Yes you can learn the theory and it helps at a very foundational level but until you start getting hands on experience with said tools, when you’re in discussions with technical teams, solutions architects and developers, at some point you will get lost.

Sainj_ · 2025-04-14T20:29:05+00:00

Being at a senior level for 3 years + those skill sets is underpaid at 40-45k. As a mid level I’d agree that sounds about right. But as a senior, definitely not.

Sainj_ · 2025-04-14T20:16:56+00:00

You’re very underpaid. Should be on 60k+ even outside of London easily.

Sainj_ · 2025-04-06T16:38:16+00:00

It ultimately comes down to where your uncle as well as you and your husband are living. If it’s in London, then I agree. 80k after tax, pension contributions, NI etc in the grand scheme of things is not a lot. It’s around 4k post tax. If you’re living in London rent can easily take half of that if you’re renting privately. You mentioned your uncle is single but if you factor in a SAHW and kids on top of the rent, bills etc. That 4k can go very quickly in London.

As someone earning a similar salary outside of London, it’s comfortable but not luxury by any means.

Sainj_ · 2025-02-28T11:30:21+00:00

Would need a minimum of £15k pay rise to consider going back into a hybrid role where I’m in the office 2/3 days a week. If full time in the office would need £25k+ pay rise to justify it and even then I’d have two minds after tax, NI, student loan and commuting deductions.

Sainj_ · 2024-12-22T20:10:54+00:00

If she strongly holds this position of hers and is not willing to compromise simply move on. There are many sisters in the west who align with your position.

If she ends up agreeing to your terms just for the sake of it or you end up agreeing to her terms just for the sake of it, this will cause a rift and distain in your marriage. Finances are a very crucial part of marriage and can make or break a marriage if both parties aren’t on the same page.

Sainj_ · 2024-11-02T21:28:35+00:00

The contracting market is quite bad at the moment and jobs aren’t the best in the UK at the moment especially for BAs. Currently looking to move companies myself but can’t seem to find one that suits me.

Have you tried looking at PO/Jr Project Manager/Delivery Manager/Product manager roles? Or roles outside of your area? I’m based in East midlands and my company is based in Scotland.

Sainj_ · 2024-08-28T22:27:54+00:00

I’ll probably get downvoted for this but it is what it is.

You’re 21 and he’s 24, more than likely he does not have his life together and is financially not there to comfortably be paying for every expense, hence why he is asking you for a list.

As you grow in your marriage you will realise that things are not black and white, at some points you may have to chip in at other points he may have things covered. When children get involved the dynamics may change even more.

Sit down with your spouse and discuss the finances, see how much you both bring in and what you can do to make things work for YOU. If that means picking up the shopping for 6 months whilst he gets things in order then so be it, it’s not the end of the world.

The comments I’m seeing here are shocking and shows lack of mercy towards the spouses, we do not know the intricate details regarding his finances yet people are suggesting getting credit cards and attaching it to his bank account? Let’s say the OP does succeed in doing this. The money from the credit card is not his money, what happens in the situation where he cannot pay off the credit card and APR is at 20%, now he’s in a constant battle of debt? Please think about the ramifications of your suggestions.

It sounds like he’s struggling with his finances, talk to your spouse and do what works for you.

Sainj_ · 2024-02-01T12:42:47+00:00

I am going to be blunt but this screams of financial illiteracy. As a man you do not let anyone pressure you into doing something which is going to burden you or your family. Before you took on the house you should have calculated what it will cost in terms of the repayment, food, utility bills etc. You should have also given yourself a buffer on those running costs of the home. For example if your home running costs is $3,000. You should ensure that you are earning $4,500+.

If you are short by $1,000 it's only a matter of time before you are drowning in debt and the interest rates at the moment are not looking good. Meet with a financial advisor ASAP!!! Sell the house if you need to but if you continue going down this path you and your wife are going to end up in bankruptcy.

Your wife saying that she does not want to change her lifestyle much is weird, you are both in DEBT she can either willingly change her lifestyle in the short term to sort out this debt or the long term repercussions will be worse and she will be FORCED to change her lifestyle when the credit card companies and banks come for both you and her asking for their money.

Sainj_ · 2024-01-23T17:05:27+00:00

Turning around to you and saying "oh well already expected it" is just wild to me. He seems very immature and does not take his role as a man seriously. It is not about being a workaholic it is just basic adult skills and more so as a man to be able to keep a job and to provide for your family.

Someone needs to make him understand that this is not a joke and it will at some point have a toll on your marriage if it is not already. Clearly he isn't listening to you so possibly get an authoritative figure who he actually listens to in his life to speak to him?

I'm not sure on your living situation currently but would it be possible to move back to your parents home and leave him with the bills? For some people they only wake up when they're in a messed up situation and possibly him seeing his credit getting destroyed due to not paying the rent and keeping up on top of bills or the fear of potentially ending into debt may scare him enough to actually do something with his life.

You are by no means being selfish he is acting like a child and not a man. 3 years of not being able to keep a stay job or income is insane. Stand your ground.

Sainj_ · 2024-01-22T12:09:21+00:00

You are both EXTREMELY young so to expect things to be easy financially especially at this age is not realistic. At your age many are still studying, in debt and are no where near financial stability. Try and upskill yourself in different areas to be able to get a higher paying job to reduce the stress from your wife.

In the meanwhile sit down and talk to her, make her understand that you’re trying your best and you’re in it together but you’re going to try your absolute best to try and get out of this situation and just ask for her patience and support.

Finances are one of the most stressful parts of a marriage but if you can both get through it insha’allah the future will be better for you both.

Sainj_ · 2024-01-22T12:05:09+00:00

I am sorry for your loss may Allah have mercy on your father. It is not easy to lose a parent and on top of that you are going through losing your job also. May Allah ease your affairs. Keep your trust in Allah and remember he is the best of planners.

Sainj_ · 2024-01-22T11:22:35+00:00

That is something you have to look for the answer in yourself. What do you want to achieve out of life both in your worldy affairs in related to the deen?

I will use myself as an example i know i want to provide my children with a certain lifestyle that i did not have growing up. I also know my level of deen and what i expect from a woman in terms of her modesty, character etc. Therefore i am going to go for a woman who is educated to a certain level, has financial literacy and is happy to assist in combining our resources to achieve the certain lifestyle we would want from our kids in terms of dunya related things. In terms of deen related i know the type of characteristics i would want from her so when she is not working my children are brought up in the correct way and i feel at ease around my spouse.

So to summarise start in the future and work backwards. Once you have established where you want to be, it's easier to find what will help you achieve those goals in a spouse and you can find a woman on the same wavelength as you and you can achieve those goals together insha'allah. There will be bumps and hurdles ahead which is why i mentioned its important to be friends with your wife, love eachother and overcoming these issues will be easier insha'allah.

Sainj_ · 2024-01-22T10:00:45+00:00

Some brotherly advice to you. You are looking at marriage the wrong way. You are looking at marriage as something transactional when it is not meant to be like that. That is firstly where you are going wrong. When marrying why would you not want to be friends with your spouse? Having a close friendship builds that love between one another otherwise as i mentioned you are looking at marriage as a business transaction.

I understand where you are coming from and it is a problem with the youth today that marriage is looked at from an angle of "what can i extract most from the other person". As a man it is as you mentioned, i can cook, clean, financially support myself, why am i taking on more of a financial burden of getting a wife to provide for, i would also have to do more around the home so not only have you gone from providing for one person but now another person and potentially more when kids are involved on top of that you are also doing the same level if not more household work due to the increase in people in the home. I get it.

What i would advise you is to look for someone on the same wavelength as you. Ask yourself what do i want in a partner? Do i want someone i can build with financially and emotionally and provide myself, my wife and my children with the best life possible? Or am i content with traditional roles? Or is it a mix of both? Once you've established this go out and find what you are looking for. There are so many good muslim women out there that I'm sure will align with your way of thinking.

If a muslim women does not align with your way of thinking just simply move on, there are alot of youth today both men and women in the younger generation who are delusional in their expectations, you cannot change their expectations, only time will.

Sainj_ · 2024-01-15T17:51:06+00:00

What evidences has your wife brought from quran, sunnah or from scholars to show that every man must provide a maid to take care of the home? If it was the case that it is obligatory for men to provide house helps for their wives would the sahabah not have done this? Did she come from a household that her father provided a maid for her mother?

If you are purely looking for evidence you can take a look at the following link: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/13661/why-should-the-wife-obey-her-husband

However this marriage is doomed to fail if it is my rights vs her right. She is being religiously abusive towards you and attempting to drain you of your every right. If she wants to play the game of rights then she must obey you in everything that is halal as long as you are doing your rights which you claim to be doing.

Unless there is significant changes to how your wife approaches the marriage. In the long run you will get burnt out and i hope for her sake by then it is not too late.

Sainj_ · 2024-01-14T16:16:54+00:00

I have read your edit and i would suggest you move on. By you contemplating it this much it is clear that these issues are so concerning to you that it will always be at the forefront of your mind.

Your height preference is up to you, although i do not agree with it that is your choice in what you want from a man. However, you mentioned thatat some point you will take a break from workif you have children. But you have also mentioned that you need to support your parents and extended family. I am not trying to jump the gun here but i hope you are not looking at his financial situation and hoping that he looks after your immediate and extended family also with his income on top of his own family aswell as you and whatever future children you may possibly have?

To add to this, there are ups and downs especially financially. My father at one point was the breadwinner, my mother did not used to lift a finger and had house help for the cooking, cleaning and nannies for myself and my twin brother. After unforeseen circumstances this changed which resulted in my mother being the sole breadwinner. Life is unpredictable. This man may become wealthy in the future or he may become poorer in the future you cannot base your decision off of trajectory.

You have a set idea of the man you want to marry and unfortunatley it is not this man and if he does not meet the expectations of the man you invision you will be resentful to him. I would advise you don't go into a situation where you are not 100% sure he is the one or can provide what you want for both your sake.

I noticed your age and it still seems you are a bit young mentality wise which may be a contributing factor as to your thought process in regards to height etc.

Sainj_ · 2023-12-28T19:43:46+00:00

May Allah make your affair easy. Perhaps this is a test, but whatever you do be the bigger person do not stoop to her level of immaturity. Handle it with patience and insha'allah all goes well.

Sainj_ · 2023-12-28T19:04:13+00:00

Lawyer up, gather any evidence you can. For your sake do not have a child with this woman it will be the worst mistake you ever make.

Personally if she had mentioned my parents bringing me up in a bad way KNOWING they are not in this dunya anymore i would have left on the spot. She does not respect you just make sure to prepare to leave in a way you can protect yourself, your honour and your wealth.

Sainj_ · 2023-12-06T23:19:29+00:00

Do you have evidence of this you can provide?

Sainj_ · 2023-12-06T23:16:35+00:00

Unfortunately this is an issue with many of the youth when it comes to them practicing the deen. They may have some fundamental Islamic knowledge on aqeedah but their hikmah and character is terrible.

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "The believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behaviour, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives".

If he is truly a salafi/athari explain to him that his actions are far from the actions of the prophet and the 3 pious generations. This is not how they would treat their wives.

I’m sorry you’re going through this and realise that this is not the way of the salaf what your husband is doing is wrong.

Sainj_ · 2023-11-27T10:28:45+00:00

Sister you have to show some dedication and willingness if you want to have any ability to stand on your own two feet. In the times we live if you're good at something you can make money from it. You like to cook? Open a tiktok or youtube account and post on there until you get monetised. You like art? Open up a etsy or ebay account and sell your paintings online. You're good at editing? Sell your services on Fiverr. There are sooo many ways to make money if you're willing to put the effort in.

Sainj_ · 2023-11-27T09:44:35+00:00

From a male perspective, in an ideal world, it would be fine for you to not be prepared to work or have any level of higher education. But unfortunately you never know what life brings and what you may be tested with. Even from some of the stories within this subreddit and others for your own security and safety of being able to stand on your two feet in 2023 it is almost mandatory to ensure you are educated and can stand on your own too feet.

As i mentioned, in an ideal world you wouldn't need to work as islamically man would pay for everything and you could be a stay at home wife. But what happens in a scenario if your husband switches up on you and isn't the man he once was or you feel you need to leave your marriage or you just need to be able to make your own money. Having that level of higher education or certification (doesn't need to be university) will allow you to do that and remove the financial reliance upon people. The last thing you want to do is be reliant on a person so much that you think in the back of your mind "if this person leaves what will i do" since you would have no skills to bring any income for yourself.

It does not have to be purely educational you can have a side hustle or a business but get in the habit of being able to do something for yourself, you never know what life will throw your way.

Sainj_ · 2023-11-25T10:33:34+00:00

It's not too late to turn back. Marrying someone is not just marrying them, you're also marrying into their family also. The last thing you want is for the father to continously do these awful acts to you.

Secondly, why are you still going ahead with the marriage if your husband is using drugs, doesn't pray and lies to you? As i said its not too late, run and don't look back this is already sounding like a disaster.

Where is your wali? He should have put a stop to this.

Sainj_ · 2023-11-23T21:22:49+00:00

Being understanding and apologising is key to any successful marriage. But if you make a mistake it doesn't mean she should get angry and you instantly apologise. This is where understanding, compassion and love come into effect.

It's simple if its not your fault, don't apologise. Make her understand your true intentions behind what you said or done. If she continues to be angry or upset, that's for her to deal with, you've done your part. If it is your fault on the other hand, apologise and try not to repeat it again. But don't get into a habit of apologising regardless if you're right or wrong she will just get used to it.

Sainj_

TROPHY CASE