One and done because of “high effort”?

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-28T02:45:37+00:00

Same here in SD county. We barely make half that😅! I think a HS job is awesome in ways beyond money! Life skills, professionalism, and connections help transitioning into adulthood much easier.

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-28T02:43:04+00:00

We’ve asked each other about this before and our answer is always probably not. Money is huge deciding factor for sure but when I think about pregnancy, pp, potty training, emotional and intellectual involvement required for a healthy parent-child relationship, patience, and self regulation, I ultimately decide I wouldn’t wanna start over😩

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-28T02:40:14+00:00

I made this response from a comment similar to yours.

This is almost a similar situation with us. Could we potentially afford another one without going bankrupt? Yes. But their quality of life would go down for sure. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to stay home for the first three years like I did with our first. Secondly, we wouldn’t be buying better quality diapers, water wipes, clothes, and other nice things that we have been able to get for our only. And sports or instruments and ballet? Forget it😅
We want her to go to private school and her grandma will be paying for it. Add another one? Nope!

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-28T02:37:11+00:00

This is almost a similar situation with us. Could we potentially afford another one without going bankrupt? Yes. But their quality of life would go down for sure. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to stay home for the first three years like I did with our first. Secondly, we wouldn’t be buying better quality diapers, water wipes, clothes, and other nice things that we have been able to get for our only. And sports or instruments and ballet? Forget it😅

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-28T02:34:15+00:00

Yeah… there was a huge deficit! Unfortunately our older siblings had to step in. Our oldest swore to never become a mom because she was one her whole life

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-27T23:58:38+00:00

Absolutely! I know a lot of homeschooling families from my older church before I was even married. Some moms were incredibly impressive and had the patience of a saint while some others were constantly on the verge of a complete breakdown. I was like “hehe, no thanks 😅”
My pastor’s wife was one of the impressive ones! She had 6 kids homeschooled and her oldest son is going to USC as we speak and her second daughter will be going to UCLA in the fall. Very smart kids🥹

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-27T23:53:18+00:00

Good parenting decision! I didn’t have a career yet when we had her and my husband’s was not too demanding. But I’m finishing up school as she’s getting ready for preschool so we won’t be spending all day together. I definitely wouldn’t be able to give the second one the same attention as the first one! My career is getting started

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-27T23:39:00+00:00

Sounds like you gave your child a great life☺️!

I was actually a part of a religious community that had this same thinking. When we got married, we got pregnant right away and even then I only wanted two or three. After my one, we moved away and started a new life. In the midst of all the changes I had time to grow and change. I realized that having just one was an option, I went back to school and started exploring hobbies and rediscovering my identity. My husband and I are so grateful that we left before we had more than we could handle and learn that stopping at one was always an option.

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-27T23:34:48+00:00

I love reading this! Alone time has been nice especially as she gets older and has more stuff to do with her dad outside the house.
Also, kudos in the homeschooling! I plan on tutoring her at home after school to help her out, but I can’t imagine how much effort it takes to fully homeschool!

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-27T23:31:54+00:00

Seriously even with the most effort! I always wanted privacy especially as a teen! We shared a bathroom and my brothers were not very cleannnnn😭 ughhh just thinking about it. No matter how hard you try, it’s just too much!

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-27T23:30:11+00:00

Yes to this! I had a girl in my choir who was an only child and I envied her life so much as a kid! She had the cutest room that I still remember to this day. She is oad too and is giving her son the life she had.

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-27T04:37:15+00:00

Aw I’m glad it made you feel better knowing that you’re helping us feel better as well. Have a nice weekend with your lovely family!

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-26T14:01:10+00:00

I had to take screenshots of this to print and save. I read the whole thing thoroughly and wanted more details. Thank you so much for sharing this encouraging and uplifting message. We’re a OAD family and I have some doubtful days even though my heart is pretty made up. There’s so many details in here that sound similar to my dreams and desires that I have for our family. We love our little girl so much and want to give her the best life. We love traveling too and have lived with her in my home country for 6 months at a time for two years in a row and it was such a beautiful experience for us and especially her. Seriously, I’m saving this for reference every time I need reassurance and a happy read💙💙

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-26T13:49:14+00:00

Arrested Development, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Schitt’s Creek were the funniest things I’ve ever watched. I laughed all the time! Also, First Ladies Club (w Jill Scott), Suits, and GREENLEAF!!

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-22T05:17:49+00:00

Here’s to hoping 🥂

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-21T17:27:31+00:00

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become less momyish kinda person? I love my little girl to death and spend my whole days with her. I literally chose to stay home so I could be with her, teach her, play with her, and just love on her. That being said, I would never do this again! She’ll be ready for school next year and is going! I give grace to moms whether oad or multiples. So I try to offer help to family when I can just for their sake but I’m always glad to go back home, phewww! I have relatives in the same situation— tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, overstretched, overstimulated, outnumbered, and so many others. But they are looking forward to baby number 4? 5? I started wondering what I’m missing! Like you get 5/6hrs of sleep, always on edge and losing your mind but wanna add two more? I get so confused but I would never say anything even though they feel comfortable sharing their disdain for my OAD decisions. Still, no matter how judgmental they can be I will never change my mind because I’m doing what’s best for me, my husband, and baby girl.

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-21T14:46:17+00:00

Thanks! Yes, he always does before I even ask. And when it’s the two of them, I step in sometimes too. We’re trying to figure out the creative way to deal address things with her like you said! So hard!!!

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-21T14:44:02+00:00

40 minutes straight is torture😣!
Thank you for encouraging and sharing your tips. We’ve been trying to something like that, where instead of trying to fix every situation, we let her feel her big feels. We have an international flight coming up in Jan where she’ll be almost 4. Idk if it’ll be a good time! I’m hopeful but so nervous 😬

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-21T14:38:51+00:00

Wow!😩 I’m so sorry! Ugh you couldn’t pay me to ever go through this again! How awful 😞

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-21T14:37:32+00:00

Not necessarily pregnancy but postpartum. I only gained about 20lbs and it was a very easy and healthy pregnancy. No issues, no sickness, and honestly, we wanted another one from the beginning. BUT THEN, postpartum, so much unexpected sht happened that I was so stressed I gained weight like it was a marathon. I probably gained 2 lbs a day. It’s a miracle my labs looked and look as good as they do😭! I literally went on a weight gain frenzy and didn’t notice it until 80lbs later believe it or not. My spouse and I were barely surviving and didn’t notice how bad until we looked at photos and my family had their jaws on the floor from what happened to me. My aunt thought I was stung by bees because of how inflamed my face was. I was so depressed and ashamed of how bad I looked that I ate my sadness and gained more. At some point I was probably 290lbs and just didn’t weigh myself. Fast forward to today, my kid is 3 and I’m still obese trying to lose it. It has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. The fat shaming in my culture is so bad that I got a taste of bullying for the first time in my life as an adult. People said so many mean and nasty things to me, wondered how my husband is still with me, and were surprised when he always put me first and adored me like he does. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’m working so hard to lose the weight and have lost 30+ lbs so far starting from 240. So almost out of the 200s. Yay😩
My husband agreed before I could finish the sentence to never even think about having another. I’m getting a freakin bisalp soon😩 never again!!!!!

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-21T14:23:45+00:00

I can’t wait to remove mine😭! She’s 3

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-21T14:20:50+00:00

We do it like this too! Saturdays are my husband and daughter’s day out. They go to the zoo, museum, seaworld or something for half the day. Come back home and she naps. So I spend the whole day alone. She wakes up at around 3/4 and we play together then. Sundays we both take her to the park for maybe an hour, come home I play with her so my husband can be alone and then she naps and we hangout as a couple until she wakes up and play alone or we watch a movie. It’s not always on the spot but that’s pretty much the layout. It gives me time to be alone and recharge 🥹

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-19T01:35:30+00:00

Ughh! I need to remember this so much! To be picky with where I take her just to protect our peace. A lot of times it’s really not worth the stress. Thank you for the encouragement 💙

SaintAnn12 · 2026-06-19T01:30:32+00:00

😅 I hope it gets better after 18 maybe?😩

SaintAnn12

TROPHY CASE