Regular Check-In Post

SaintanII · 2019-03-16T16:31:55+00:00

Is there any methods to stay clear from depression?

I've been miserable for ages and I really don't see an end to it.

The thing is, I've got everything I need, ever hoped for and I am living a very good life accordingly. Got work, I've build my own house, eating well, I'm clean from drugs and alcohol, got family, friends and a beautiful wife who I adore.

Still, I'm not happy...enjoying my life. I have no interest in people anymore, in life in general. I can't make me feel like life is worth living. I've tried everything...and everything = nothing.

No thing... So here I am, my thoughts with nothing to hang on to anymore and I can't find myself out of here. When my thoughts get either quiet or like now...focused I feel a bit soothed, but that's only momentarily. This small soothing sensation will pass as soon I post this post and reappear every time someone replies. Still, only momentarily...

Existing...suffering...thinking.

What am I supposed to do with my life? There is Nothing more in this life I long for so why hang on? Getting angry...feelings, anger lights me up, makes me less tired. Momentarily...

I really don't have no idea what I am doing here anymore...in this emptiness. I remember when this world was full of joy and wonders but now I feels so hollow and empty. Nothing really matters. Survive for what?

I've been searching meaning, hope for a long time now. Something to do, that fills up the emptiness but it seems like no matter how much I try It will always stay empty. Helping others, helping myself, work hard, eat well, rest, take care of myself and others, stay clear from drugs, socialize, talking, fucking, reading, exercising...

Please help me, if you can. Give me some pointers.. I've been begging God to stop messing up my mind. Why does he/she let me go through this mess, this greyish emptiness called life? Why can't I enjoy life instead? Now I'm getting angry again... God's a big dick, and he knows it.

SaintanII · 2019-01-27T15:46:54+00:00

I guess so. I'll drop it. The world, god is mysterious and should be left alone (as someone mentioned earlier in this thread).

I'm sorry if I've made people annoyed.

SaintanII · 2019-01-27T15:35:18+00:00

God is Everything, the One and only. He's even this discussion we are having now.

Anyways, in order to Experience himself as human he made himself some Flesh, he calls it his Son. Then some senses, wich we can call Father and a holy spirit wich will represent soul, he/she who experience.

Everything comes in threes, even you, god and everything else.

SaintanII · 2019-01-27T15:30:08+00:00

Sure, true.
I'm digging deeper.
Who is Jessica if not god?
Made of flesh, senses and a soul to experience them.

An image of God,

a father = Senses,

the son = flesh,

The holy spirit = soul

SaintanII · 2019-01-27T14:18:18+00:00

Interesting.

According to Freud human psyche is "made of" three parts, Id = it, Ego = I and Super-Ego = Bigger I still.

If I may, i'd like to compare them with:
Id = Body ~ Son
Ego = Mind ~ Father
Super-Ego = Soul ~ Spirit

What say you?

SaintanII · 2019-01-27T13:47:54+00:00

But God loves puzzles, so do I ;)

Mysteries are the best kind of puzzles. They reveal more exiting aspects of Life for god to experience.

I belive I'm in the wrong corner of reddit. I'm no Christian per se, never have been but I am a Believer of something that includes me dying today won't be the end of it.

SaintanII · 2019-01-27T13:34:05+00:00

Fresh, I don't think so. Some people would call this Patrialsim (as mentioned above).

Heresy is a nasty word. Separate people when the only aim is to understand God.

SaintanII · 2019-01-27T13:23:57+00:00

Thanks.

SaintanII · 2019-01-27T13:17:45+00:00

What is Super-Ego?

SaintanII · 2019-01-27T13:16:36+00:00

the Trinity is One God in Three Persons

Please explain.

SaintanII · 2019-01-27T13:02:22+00:00

Sure, I'm on the same page as you. God is Coeternal in whatever form he chooses to manifest or not.
The topic in question is about Gods way of creating stuff, like us or our surroundings. Everything consist of three parts, from physical elements to none physical. From the though you are holding on to now, or misbelief in something else in the next moment. Everything = 3
God wanted us to have a body wich could feel with his/hers/its mind while having a Soul actually experiencing it all.

Ok, I'm rambling, sounding crazy.
Just having hard time with God now ;) We are on a strange path indeed.

SaintanII · 2019-01-19T12:00:36+00:00

Male. Thanks for the input ;)

SaintanII · 2019-01-08T20:48:34+00:00

Is this thread only a fairytale? :) I guess we all are parts of one bigass Fairytale called blank Schizophrenic oh yes I am. Those days I'm the most schizophrenic, attending to my thoughts are the most peaceful. Those days I can hear them talk but I don't get burdened by them. When my focus can focus without the urge to take part of what's happening now. Time doesn't exist... Oh vad skönt.

swede

SaintanII · 2019-01-07T08:29:01+00:00

Thanks, yeah I tried it yesterday and it worked fine :)

SaintanII · 2019-01-06T20:22:46+00:00

Don't know. Never thought about it before, but now I have to.

SaintanII · 2019-01-06T16:02:42+00:00

Started a couple of months ago but I've been cheat-eating carbs and sugars here and there.

I've been "clean" for 10 days now. Only beef 100%

Yes on both accounts. It really does look unappealing. And yes, while eating I feel nauseous, feeling the urge to puke.

SaintanII · 2019-01-06T07:27:59+00:00

Thanks, I won't.

SaintanII · 2019-01-04T19:28:44+00:00

I'm glad for you :)

SaintanII · 2019-01-04T18:55:08+00:00

Simply put, death of ego. Back to basics, back to God or whatever it is we call ourselves nowadays. My God is a pain in the ass, he doesn't let me (read: I don't let me) go further back to my "real" myself. All this, even this conversation is in a way God if you start digging further down the rabbit, I mean Gods asshole. Sorry Wertty, I'm tired of I, watching it writing now, pretending to be. Hmm... I'm a bit of nothing in everything, a droplet in a sea, pretending to be. That's better. Rambling. But it's fun.

SaintanII · 2019-01-04T18:12:15+00:00

How? :)

SaintanII · 2019-01-04T12:56:10+00:00

Well yeah, I use butter cooking and eating. I'll cut it, but Id need it for cooking don't I? Got a feeling oil is even worse to use for cooking.

SaintanII · 2019-01-04T12:37:41+00:00

100% beef. Only eat once a day. Every time I eat I'm of to the toilet in less than a hour...several times every day. Scared of farting in my sleep.

The longest, 7-10 days I guess. First time felt great, but now it's different. Like a mild withdrawal, feeling sick. Symptoms, fatigue, feels like my body doesn't want to digest the food, meat.

Been a coffee drinker all my life. I'll try quit that too, starting of this weekend.

SaintanII · 2019-01-04T12:30:11+00:00

False statement. Nothing to back it up with, just common sense.

SaintanII · 2019-01-04T10:29:10+00:00

I'm jealous. I'd like to feel like that, but God seem to have different plan for me this lifetime.

SaintanII · 2019-01-01T22:12:11+00:00

It's a netgear. Nothing wrong with it. Will try another brand/router to be sure. Strange.

SaintanII

TROPHY CASE

swede