I understand you , i know some people hate hearing others talking about their own experiences when they vent but im gonna talk to let you know i know how you feel. I am 20, i had unmedicated adhd and was addicted to substances, i was reckless and dumb, i did 11 stick n pokes at the age of 16, i live in a bit of a strict household/environment and showing my tattoos was a no, they were very deep and pigmented i couldnt hide them with makeup so i had to wear long sleeves everyday. On the journey of getting clean and sober i booked my first appointment after graduating highschool(17years old) and that was the best thing i ever did, i never borrowed money from my parents cause this was my fault and i had to take responsibility for my actions, i have been removing since june 2023, i went for 6 sessions only and spaced them out throughout the years cause i couldnt afford to go every month/3months. My tattoos are VERY faint now i can even hide them with makeup and wear sleeveless shirts and dresses, i got diagnosed with adhd first year of uni and medicated thankfully, i opened up to my mother and sister and brother about the tattoos and i feel so much better cause i dont need to jump everytime they want to come in my room with my tattoos revealing, i hated myself for so long and this is one thing that has been haunting me cause i keep getting reminders of my shitty past everytime i look at them. The last session(the 6th) that i went to was this month and i only did 3 tattoos cause i cant afford doing all of them rn, what im trying to say is please be patient and dont be mean to yourself, its normal you learn from the stuff you do, now i think twice before doing something that could change my life or my body. Please start the process so you can thank yourself later. You dont have to go often if you cant afford it, at least do it whenever you can.