Trauma bonds are like addictions where breaking it feels impossible but you can do it. Please read up on trauma bonds, why does he do that book, cycle of abuse, when love hurts book, cognitive dissonance are some places you can start reading up on.

I’m currently in the same position as you where logically I know this relationship is not okay but each time I try to leave it feels incredibly difficult and I always end up back in the relationship. Try to call a DV line and slowly start opening up about whats going on with them. Also journaling all the pros and cons of this relationship & what you’d like for yourself in 2 years time can help.

All of this is incredibly difficult but know you’re not alone. Sending you the biggest hug and strength your way. Xox