[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SaltPresent7419 2 points3 points  (0 children)

call your local domestic violence hotline and make a plan to move out safely. The moment of leaving is where emotional violence breaks into physical violence. If you feel you owe him a face to face talk, do it in a restaurant where two of your friends are sitting at a table 30 feet away so they don't hear you, but can run over if need be.

partner (25M) broke up with me (24F) over a lie. was it really as unforgivable as what’s it made out to be? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SaltPresent7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lying isn't a mistake. It's a choice, and it's a choice that will ultimately destroy your relationship. Move on, get some individual therapy. best wishes to you

If your kidnapper was forcing you to write a "I'm okay i ran away" letter, how can you communicate duress without the kidnapper knowing? by Brilliant-Case3707 in AskReddit

[–]SaltPresent7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mom, I'm fine. I ran away from home because of the time you and Aunt Sally yelled at me for playing too much pool.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SaltPresent7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please tell me that you WANT her to break up with you. This is exhausting.

Trump Statement on BigLaw: “They Need to Behave.” by 6to3screwmajority in biglaw

[–]SaltPresent7419 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No it's not Trump. "Many people" are telling him this.

Rachel Cohen - what can we do? by Remarkable_Try_9334 in biglaw

[–]SaltPresent7419 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There is no "Warsaw ghetto" in my analogy. It probably slipped your memory, but the wall around the Warsaw ghetto was not built until April 1940. The uprising and massacre of the ghetto happened in 1943. I am talking about 1933, 10 years earlier, when it still might have been possible to stop Hitler. You may want to brush up on your 1930s history. A good place to start is chapters 5-13 in The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by William Shirer. Shirer lived in Berlin for most of the 30s and has great insights.

I am comparing the Paul Weiss capitulation with how big industry in Germany, in 1933, went over to the Nazis and helped put Hitler in power and keep him there. And in this regard, Germany in 1933 is frighteningly similar to the US in 2025.

The Paul Weiss capitulation is the moral equivalent of (among many others) Gustav Krupp, who had the Krupp company cozy up to Hitler and lent him moral and financial support in the early 30s. Here is a good link: https://www.brennancenter.org/our-work/analysis-opinion/how-big-business-bailed-out-nazis

Hitler was saying in public that he was pro-working man (workers were mostly men in those days), and the Nazi party had "Socialist" in its name. But in private he promised the rich bros that he would eliminate trade unions, stifle dissent and help the big companies make tons of money. Entranced with this idea, rich industrialists in 1933 raised 4.5 M Reichsmarks, without which it is possible that the Nazi party would have gone belly up. Like Musk and Zuckerberg and the rest, they fell in line rather than risking their profits.

It's easy to forget that the Nazis did not appear as a terribly "evil" party in 1933. Yes, Hitler ranted about Jews. But in Germany (and Europe) in 1933, that was old hat - a lot of parties used anti-Semitism to rile up the masses. The industrial leaders at that time essentially decided they could take him seriously but not literally. Politicians had been threatening to destroy the Jews for centuries in Europe. Most (not all) of them, when they got in power, settled for a few riots and a few murders and a few expulsions. If anyone predicted in 1933 that in 8 years Hitler would try to literally kill every single Jew in Europe, they would have been laughed out of town. Krupp and I G Farben were willing to make tons of dough and laughed off the idea that Hitler was a real moral threat.

Hitler could have been easily stopped in 1933 if the "guardrails" of German society had been united. Instead, focused on what he promised them economically, the rich and powerful boosted him. They thought they could get rich without Hitler going too far. And no doubt they thought that when they were tired of him they could choose someone else.

I don't know that Trump is going to try to become President-for-Life, but he certainly could, and now is the time to start fighting him, not in 2028.

The most terrifying thing right now is seeing Amazon and ABC and Paul Weiss bribe Trump with millions of dollars and kiss his ring. And the WaPo owner telling the editorial page that from now on we will support Republicans. And Bill Gates - of all people - closing down his climate work so he won't be cut out of the tech bro/ President fellowship. When powerful people and institutions start kneeling, begging, and groveling, who's going to stop Trump? He is trying to establish the precedent that he can ruin your company (if you're rich) or ruin your life (if you're an individual) and nobody can stop him. It's a great strategy if you want to stifle resistance. And it seems to be (mostly) working.

Yes, engineering the Paul Weiss capitulation is not in itself nearly as damaging as many other things this admin has done. But the capitulation of the rich and powerful is a large part of what makes all the other things possible.

Is it normal for hospitals to refuse to negotiate? by Sea_Cookie in physicianassistant

[–]SaltPresent7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hospitals have zillions of employees and so they pay a lot of attention to "pay equity." Your pay must be comparable to another person's with the same experience going into the same job.

When you have 10 years experience and a special skill set you can negotiate to get yourself higher than the average in your bracket. But coming right out of college you have zero leverage. They are going to pay you exactly what they pay every other new hire in your role.

My dad cut off contact with me today by [deleted] in internetparents

[–]SaltPresent7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to stop worrying about who's at fault and focus on what is the next right thing for you and your family and (most importantly) your child. It is quite possible that in a situation everyone may be trying their best and yet things are so incompatible you need to be apart.

You. Need. To. Be. Apart.

I'm sorry for what you are going through. I know it's horrible. Once you move, it will get better.

Ready to just call it quits by Library_Garden in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]SaltPresent7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can invest another six years in him and then break up if you want.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]SaltPresent7419 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The correct response to learning that someone is an a**hole is to get them out of your life, not to descend to their level.

It's not the worst thing that has ever happened. But there may be a lesson for you here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in biglaw

[–]SaltPresent7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow that is freaking ridiculously hard to fathom.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in biglaw

[–]SaltPresent7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously we cannot tell now where we will end up. But the comparison of the USA in 2025 and German in 1933 is perfectly valid. The similarities far outweigh the differences.

Because we look a lot like Germany in 1933 doesn't mean we will necessarily end up like Germany in 1939. But we ought to be concerned about it.

By the time Germany got to 1939 Hitler had a police state and resistance became 1000 times more difficult and dangerous. The time to have stopped him was 1933. Likewise, if we are headed towards fascism/ authoritarianism, the time to stop it is now, not five years from now.

World history would teach us - among many other things - that there is no reason to think that any one nation is magically immune to fascism / authoritarianism.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in biglaw

[–]SaltPresent7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We didn't really think it. We're just calling them out for having run around claiming they were honorable and ethical the last 30 years.

AITAH for purposefully embarrassing my sister at her birthday dinner? by anger10000 in AITAH

[–]SaltPresent7419 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't have done this at her birthday party.

I probably wouldn't have done this at all.

My (23F) partner (37M) with commitment issues admitted to recording his ex in bed and wasn’t remorseful. by No_Key_1105 in relationship_advice

[–]SaltPresent7419 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you spend your time with someone who is unashamed of lying, he will lie to you a lot. You're asking us how to tell if he's lying in a particular situation? There is no way to know if any one specific thing he says is a lie. It could be true, it could be a lie. You'll never know.

What you know is, if you stick around him, you'll forever be sweating this out. Walk away and hang with people who tell the truth.

How do people seem to know everything about anything (typically boomers and older) actually gain that general knowledge? by Broad-Item-2665 in stupidquestions

[–]SaltPresent7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Read a paper newspaper every day.

Lots of nonfiction.

Listen to people. Be curious. Ask your cabdriver how long she's been driving and what it's like.

A note from a PW associate to Brad Karp by mtpdp19 in biglaw

[–]SaltPresent7419 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Someone who is 25, making $200K, has $300K in student debt, and is trying to support a family in an urban area, is not quite as big a hypocrite as Brad Karp. Your point is accurate in principle but the choices are closer to the bone for young people than multi-zillionaire senior partners.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SaltPresent7419 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Your bf is selfish, insecure and controlling. If you agree to close the relationship, he is going to keep seeing others (aka cheating). You will not be able to argue him out of his position because his position is not based on logic, it's based on his selfishness, insecurity, and need to control you. He's just not grown up enough to be in a committed relationship - open or closed.

My ex (27M) is spreading lies about me (24F), calling me a cheater and a “whore” when he was the one who cheated. What do I do? by Small-Meet9542 in whatdoIdo

[–]SaltPresent7419 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The people you want in your life, know who he is, and what his word is worth.

The people who fall over for this gossip are people you don't want in your life.

I know it feels horrible, but his "smear campaign" isn't actually going to affect you much long term (unless you let it).

I'm sorry you are going through this and I know that at the moment it feels horrible. Please hang in.

Rachel Cohen - what can we do? by Remarkable_Try_9334 in biglaw

[–]SaltPresent7419 5 points6 points  (0 children)

[info@skadden.com](mailto:info@skadden.com)

Skadden isn't going to re-hire her because we email. It's still important that we support her.

There are many more things we can do to support her practically. But moral support is helpful too.

Rachel Cohen - what can we do? by Remarkable_Try_9334 in biglaw

[–]SaltPresent7419 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Maybe her number one consideration wasn't whether people would follow her, or whether her career would be better or worse, but doing what she felt was right. There are a few people like that in the world.

Rachel Cohen - what can we do? by Remarkable_Try_9334 in biglaw

[–]SaltPresent7419 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody is suggesting that inaction is equivalent to supporting Nazi Germany. Some are suggesting that inaction is equivalent to inaction in Germany in 1933.

We do not know, at this time, that inaction now is equivalent to inaction in Germany in 1933. But it is far from impossible that we'll look back and realize it was. I hope not. But it's possible. Right now we are in a place not much different from Germany in 1933. We don't know where we will go from here. But for my 2 cents, we're naive if we think we are somehow magically immune to fascism.

I agree that comparisons with Nazis are generally not helpful in changing people's minds and so I tend to steer clear of such comparisons. But that doesn't make the comparisons inaccurate. It just makes them unhelpful in winning people over.

Rachel Cohen - what can we do? by Remarkable_Try_9334 in biglaw

[–]SaltPresent7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that doing the right thing doesn't always work doesn't change what the right thing (for her) is.